Based on the overwhelming evidence I see on a daily basis.
Anybody that uses an umbrella is a selfish cunt with no awareness that anybody else in the world other than them even exists, let alone has a right to be able to get out of a train station, be indoors without being dripped all over or walk down a street without fearing for their eyesight.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:50, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

THIS^
Umbrellas should only be carried by those 7' tall or over
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)

see also suitcases
GET A TAXI YOU TWAT
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Some of us lift them over peoples' heads.
But you are correct, they do seem to be overwhelmingly driven by the same people that use pushchairs as battering rams.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

Well he was talking to swipe.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

some people just don't want their hair wet

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Hat?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

what sort of hat do you wear that doesn't absorb water?
An umbrella hat? You cunt.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)

a swimming cap?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

sou'wester?

( Kroney, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

If it's raining that hard that you'll get wet whilst wearing a hat then don't fucking go out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

but i'd promised my friend percy pigs
as it was, he had to make do with jelly beans.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

An acceptable substitute
I'm currently addicted to the Fizzy Teeth from Sainsburys. They are delightfully e-numberish
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

what fucking logic is this
Do you not have shoulders?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Safely covered up by a coat, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

Erm, quite a lot of hats.
Or, you could try a hood.

Umbrellas shouldn't be given to any fucker under 6' tall
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

I am a cunt though
She nailed it there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

cuntspotting 101. Fair point.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)

at 5'6 i resent that
if you have shit hair or you're bald, no brolly. how's that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

I'm down with that. Skin has the amazing property of being entirely waterproof after all.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)

whereas hair that has just cost £40 for a blow dry most definitely does NOT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:10, Reply)

well then, as long as you keep your umbrella high enough
you will be exempt from my cull
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:11, Reply)

much obliged darling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Just watch what you are doing with it
Fucking pointy cunts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

ronseal.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 14:59, Reply)

umbrellas help but they only go so far
mud splashes all up the back of your stockings is a Bad look.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)

body condom?

( Kroney, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

wellies and stockings is a look, certainly.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

kate moss has probably done it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Kate Moss has done half of London, though.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

better than on your knees

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

haha good point

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)