Friday morning thread
I'm not going to work today due to chronic pain in my testicles. Instead I am going to go to the hospital and cry.

It dawned on me this morning that despite being a half man, oven glove fucker I am still not Quinten which made me feel happy indeed. What last made you feel happy?

Alt whats for Breakfast fatties?

Alt alt. There's going to be a pasty tax protest march this weekend and even though I am King of Kernow I think they are all a bunch of fucking idiots, its a fucking pasty. The Cornish are idiots right?
( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 8:36, 97 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I used to go out with a girl from Sennen
I worked in her parents' pub. The Cornish are indeed a strange people.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 8:43, Reply)

( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 8:54, Reply)

haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I'm glad someone found it funny!

( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)

My drinks last night
Alt: Bacon sandwich

Alt alt: Needs MOAR carrots
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 8:57, Reply)

I've read about this, sounds like you're in that 3% who develop complications necessitating the full removal of both testicles
You'll have to go on hormones to stop you turning into some bizarre woman man creature
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Why would I want to stop that?

( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Your kids will certainly look forward to parents teacher evenings I suppose

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Not just my own kids either

( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Here's my mum, and here's my fat transvestite dad

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:08, Reply)

on the upside of being quinten
i am not half a man, i am not married toa woman who clearley hates me, and I've never had sex with an oven glove, plus my sense of scale and perspective is correct

that'll do
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Nothing.
My life is a hollow shell of misery.

Alt: Muesli. See even my breakfast is shit.

Alt alt: Yes, like most people. There is massive dismantling of public services taking place and people allow themselves to be distracted by unimportant things like that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Sounds like you need something to cheer you up
www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/news/a378587/red-dwarf-first-image-from-new-series-released.html

SMEG!!!!!!!!!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Oh Christ, I think that might be enough to tip me over the edge.
Will you keep my memory alive, Rory?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:09, Reply)

From now on, whenever I pass junction 3 of the M6 I won't think of a piece of poo, I'll think of you instead

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Cheers Rory, you're a true friend.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:16, Reply)

I fancy the Billy Goats Gruff would disagree

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Their whole approach was flawed
I mean, why would they go separately across the bridge? Why would they send the littlest goat first? Especially as the biggest one clearly could take on the troll.
Goats are fucking idiots.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Got away with it though didn't they
Were they idiots or brilliant outside-the-box thinkers?

Why yes, I am a Republican
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Every fucker on my FB live feed and half the guys in my office are banging on about how awesome Avengers Assemble is
I might have to enter some kind of sensory deprivation pod until next Wednesday. NEXT FUCKING WEDNESDAY.

Updating my sig makes me happy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Is this not some sort of children's film?
There is a lot of holding on to childish things that goes on around here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Like you, holding onto that childs genitals.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Silly Al
Licking is not holding
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)

UNFRIENDED!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Of course it's not
It's based on comics
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:17, Reply)

its ok i just got back from the library with all my new comics
because i am an 11 year old spastic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)

This is most unexpected
The comics I mean, we all suspected the 11-year-old spastic thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:31, Reply)

lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)

isn't the following for children but enjoyed by adults?
- Coco pops and Sugar Puffs
- Strawberry Laces and really sour sweets
- /board on b3ta
- Theme parks
- JLS branded products such as action dolls, posters & Condoms
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I'm seeing that tonight
Then, depending how good it is, I might see it on Sunday too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:18, Reply)

ahahahahahaha!
good one, aggie
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)

I'm waiting a couple of weeks so that when I go picture house it isn't filled with mongs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)

Sleep made me happy
Knackered back mean no sleep so not happy

Alt:
Clusters followed by a cupcake

Alt Alt:
Yes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Candle.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Are you not working today?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:25, Reply)

On my way in.
Missed the train so drove to kingston park and am now on the metro. Which means I won't get in til 10ish.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:29, Reply)

Oooch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Fucking station car park was full, hence the train miss.
I'll go in early next week and build the lost time up.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:33, Reply)

How are you on for lunchtime pints?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Not sure if it's frowned on or not.
But the office is quite relaxed, so...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Pick a day!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:22, Reply)

fucks sake, first day in a new job?
how shit can you get? you'll be fired by the end of the week
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:28, Reply)

and you're talking about going out for a pint at lunch while on b3ta at work?
pretty sure you want to be back on the dole don't you?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)

We heard your girlfriend was busy today
so our normal Friday double teaming has been postponed, hence the pint
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:35, Reply)

its my girlfriends birthday end of may
want to take her to a comedy club

wheres a good comedy club?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Happy Candle day.

( wanderlust, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Yay!
This explains the cupcake

7 years
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:22, Reply)

My glove left me for a candle
Thanks for the reminder.
( Peej, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Sorry Phillie
It is my Dad's 65th birthday today too. Candles all round.

and gloves.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:24, Reply)

So you thought the ideal 58th birthday present for your father was an internet shutin for a son?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Yes, yes I did

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)

candlefuck!

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Candlespastic!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)

*dobs keyboard*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)

*Hereby known as 'dobber day;*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Getting a 2 week extension on my current flat to take the pressure off
a brief positive in a sea of negative.

Alt: cold leftover pizza. Breakfast of champions.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:28, Reply)

The surgeon probably left his keys in there
Alt: Honey Shreddies

altalt: Of course they are, that's why they need us intellengent and affulent people to come down and buy second homes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I am so fucking tired
I think I just hallucinated a bunch of internet shutins insulting each other
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:34, Reply)

What time were you up this morning....
COS i WAS AWAKE AT 5:30
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:35, Reply)

About 7
But I didn't get to sleep until 2
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Well that was silly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I was in bed by 10 as well
Absolutely fooking exhausted all day, then the opportunity for sleep arises and it just doesn't happen.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Pansy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:43, Reply)

This is hardly new news

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:44, Reply)

You are all pussies
I've not slept for more than 4 hours for a week

Me and my magic squirrel agree that its having no effect on me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)

One of my fave series of books of all time (The Magicians) is getting a third and final one ! OH MAN, well pleased.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:36, Reply)

See now, I was going to buy that
but it's been absolutely slated on Amazon.
(berk, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:47, Reply)

I've started to ignore comments and reviews online.
There's an awful lot of bitter people moaning for the sake of it.
Trip advisor is the worst.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:54, Reply)

people only bother to write stuff if it's really shit
so things tend to have an overly negative score
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I seriously loved it, and the second book (The Magician King).
It's a light easy reading book, think of a more grown up Harry Potter, where magic takes months to learn the most simplest spell, with rape/sex/murder.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:09, Reply)

are 2-3 books really a series though? 3 is a trilogy isn't it
and if there were only two before that then thats a two-ology?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Donno, I just like the books, I don't think they're a trillogy because they're all individual stories rather than part 1/2/3.
Maybe, donno, that doesn't make much sense. There are currently two books with a third one on the way that I like, you can call them what you like.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:31, Reply)

I'm going to call it 'the magical people who aren't a rip-off of harry potter with adult themes duology/trilogy/series'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I don't think thats very good, it's descsriptive but people won't know what book you mean. You might get something else that isn't as good; or maybe better; donno.
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD, MY TELEPHONE INTERVIEW IS NOW OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I don't generally eat breakfast
Terrible I know.

What would you, "the internet" suggest for a breakfast novice to eat for breakfast.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Porridge
Nicer than you expect and fairly good for you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:46, Reply)

a pinch of salt brings out the oaty taste
then enjoy with brown sugar melted into rivers of loveliness.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I prefer Golden Syrup
by the bucket
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)

spunkburgers

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Any sort of burger for breakfast is very internet fat.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dine like a pauper.
For this reason I would recommend you have swan for breakfast.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:57, Reply)

See when I was last on a diet sort of summer last year
I used to have poached egg and asparagus. Or ommlettes.
Which was very nice but a pain in the arse to cook.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I've woken up this morning
With the theme tune to Rentaghost in my head. I don't like it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:48, Reply)

try sining black beauty to yourself over and over again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 9:53, Reply)

I had Kajagoogoo's hit, Too shy in my head as I was trying to sleep.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye.

Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye. 
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye. 
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye. 
Too shy shy, hush hush, eye to eye. 

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I don't know the rest of the words.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:03, Reply)

That pretty much covers it if memory serves.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I was last happy when I got a nice text this morning.
Alt: Cinnamon danish and very strong coffee.

AltAlt: This shit along with the upcoming mayoral election and politics in general makes me want to officially tender my resignation from the human race as they are clearly a bunch of moronic twats who I want nothing to do with.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:00, Reply)

I'll send more cock pics if it makes you this happy ;)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Well I could do with a laugh

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:06, Reply)

+ magnifying glass

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:26, Reply)

+ magnifying glass Very Large Array
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Space joke!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)

You want to watch those hospitals. Full of infections they are.
It's all the immigrants, coming over here, working as doctors and nurses. Taking our jobs.

The last thing that cheered me up was seeing berk wearing my pink cowboy hat. *euphemismlols*

alt: Bacon sarnie. Breakfast of champions.

Alt alt: Bloody Cornish. Coming up here, handing out pasties.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:25, Reply)

I'd be the head of Barclay's Bank if it wasn't for the immigrents coming in taking all the jobs while being on benfets.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:32, Reply)

You were very quick to let berk sport your pink helmet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Who wouldn't!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 10:49, Reply)