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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Steps thread is dead.
Who are your top 'borderline boilers'?

As Viz put it, 'Your head says 'no' but your nuts say 'go!'

So, ropey looking suitors who you'd love to spend the night with.

Alt: Weekend plans.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:18, 201 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Your mum
To both questions.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Obvious but still funny!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Good answer.
I have clicked accordingly.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
I seem to have a slight obsession with loads of the female news presenters and weather girls
Susanna Reid
Fiona Bruce
Trai Anfield from Look North
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I don't know the last one, but I'll raise you Catriona Shearer from BBC Scotland.
Susanna would definitely get 'the boaby'.

Edit: Who am I kidding? So would Fiona.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
I'm going to have to google these regional news folk.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Trai is TEH SEX
She shops in my local Sainsburys. See also: Gilly Hope
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
They are no Isabel Webster.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)
*googles*
*raises desk*
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Trai's last day today apparantely.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
'Fraid so, she's leaving the bbc.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
*starts throwing PCs out of window*

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
*googles*
She looks nice
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
She is ball-achingly hot
and unbelievably cute.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I don't really understand the Fiona Bruce thing.
Dozer likes her as well.

Reid on the other hand, looks proper filth.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Posh totty innit

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Too lanky.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
VERY odd dress sense
Ooh, Kirsty Young!
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Young Wark
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)

Kirsty John
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Fister loves the 'tache

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Hmm, ticklish.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
All the same height lying down, Jeffers.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
You make a valid point.
Consider my comment retracted.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
East west breast is not a good look

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)
I have to say that I don't have a fucking clue what this means

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
When they lie on their backs and a tit disappears into each armpit

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
OIC.
But if you get them on top you get one in each eye socket.

Tit-teabagging, if you will.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Blind mans dunk

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
And while we're on the subject of newsreaders
Sophie Raworth. I bet she is absolutely fucking filthy.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
This
Though I am ashamed to admit it. I think its the mole and the voice
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Definitely.
I bet she has a mouth like a navvy.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
I wouldn't know
Never fucked a sailor
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
You haven't lived, duckie.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
QUACK

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
The one who played jacqui Dixon in Brookside,
And the poison dwarf in Dallas, can't remember her name. Small, chubby annoying blondes; form an orderly queue please.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
haha!
Charlene Tilton
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Kerry Katona would get it.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
I think she'd be pure filth

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I hear many people think Benedict Cumberbatch is ugly
I'd have to politely disagree.

Alt: Out tomorrow I think for party if I feel better. Then on Sunday probably a rest.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Benedict Cumberbatch looks like an alien being

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
This is a common reaction
but he's still a would.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
He isn't ugly, just weird

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I prefer him brunette. Not so hot on the ginge.
He is a terror in flat pictures but stunnah 2k12 in movement.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)
All of this statement is correct
he just looks odd ginger
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
There was a lib dem MP on This Week last night and I though, hmmm yeahh ok.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Chompy loves Clegg, Chompy loves Clegg...

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Nope it was this woman, she's not even an MP
and she's not even hot, I must have been falling asleep www.guardian.co.uk/profile/mirandagreen
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
I think she looks quite nice.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
She looked nicer on This Week yesterday
but I may have dreamt it.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
She looks like a dogs dinner

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
BISCUIT

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
HAT!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Kate Humble
I'd like to rummage in her undergrowth. Grrr.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
I fancied her when she did that "science on a desert Island" show for the OU,
I liked that show.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Dr Helen Czerski from Orbit
DEFCON BONGLE
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Rough Science
Great show, full of mad folk... And humble in a vest
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)
London b3tans
possible terror alert
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-17869815
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
more just a crazy man, but he might have a flamethrower ffs.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
He probably just has a cheap lighter

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Hostages, gas canisters and a flamethrower :S

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:46, Reply)
It sounds like the plot for computer game.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Invade Tory HQ - Vice City 7

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)
It's apparently in the Huffington Posts UK office.
Bizzare.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:58, Reply)

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/04/27/tottenham-court-road-evacuated-bomb-threat_n_1458437.html?ref=tw&ref=uk
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Fucking crazy
He turned up looking specifically for her and she just said "Not me guv"
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:03, Reply)
what a bitch

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Figures really, you'd have to be pretty fat and lethargic to get taken hostage by a loon wearing gas cannisters

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
Average London Friday afternoon then

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
hopefully we'll get to go looting again
*puts on looting trousers*
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I read this.
He might have a flame thrower, he might have a gun, he might have hostages, he might have a bomb!

He might have none of these things. He might also have a nice cup of tea, we know none of these things yet. It'#s bad enough to have the news speculating all over the place, but the police are doing it too. fuck humanity, really, fuck it.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:14, Reply)
I've been saying this for years, CQ.
Humanity is fucked, we need to burn this fucking world and start again.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
Maybe that's what he is trying to do?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Can I sign up to your news letter?
I've been arguing this on Facebook all morning.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)
You'll only get attention on facebook
if your burning the world comes with free raybans or a tesco voucher. or is a campaign to highlight the fucking fact that Maddy McCann is still dead at the bottom of the Atlantic.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Nah, I got a fair few responses, Half of them Aberacion telling me I was wrong and the other half with various people agreeing with me.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:24, Reply)
I got 50-odd responses yesterday slagging off my music taste
But 20-odd were Gonz on an opiate-fuelled rampage.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
I'm totally going to find you and friend you now.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Don't, man.
The Ar-At section of my iTunes contains Arctic Monkeys, Ash and Athlete. Apparently that makes me worse than Hitler, online.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)
you're safe, I can't find you anyway

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)
If you're looking at Gonz's profile I'm blatantly obvious
thread a short way down the left side with a picture of a monitor/TV in it.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Gotcha.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Really enjoy the photo of the Court
the only bombs there have Jager in them.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:34, Reply)
They should write that on a flyer.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Kaplinsky
still
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I prefer Silverton

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I'd forgotten about her
The glasses do it
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
this ^^

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:56, Reply)
this as well ^^

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
She's hardly a boiler of any sort.
Half of the male population of the fucking country would crawl on their hands and knees over broken glass just to wank on her shadow.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
She is very odd looking though, don't you think?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I don't like her at all
her face looks ... plastic.

But a lot of people do, so I don't think she can be classed as a boiler
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I think she's rank, with horrid gelled hair

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
see above.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
i'd love to fuck rachelswipe

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I think there's a queue here for that.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
i meant in the knees with a bat

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Very "niche" fucking style there Quints.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:58, Reply)
i'd fuck you in the arse with a goldfish bowl

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I'd goose rape you in the ear

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:02, Reply)
i'd use a wooden mallet to wedge a stale baguette into your thorax
then i'd use my cock to split it in two, cleaving you in half
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:03, Reply)
HONK

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:03, Reply)
I would totally ruin Minnie Driver
and Julia Sawalha.

But I don't think either of them count as "borderline boilers"

Alt: Same as yesterday, Jeffers. Marking, maybe some booze. Seeing if the new oven's "pizza function" is any use.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Fat headed women

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:58, Reply)
they'd both look like banjoed plaster's radios by the time I was done with them, sporters.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
I reckon Driver could punch a horse out

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I'd punch her back doors in.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I've never done a granny, but I reckon I'd have time for Anna Ford

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Helen Mirren
I'd dress her up as her Maj
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
...and jizz on her face

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)
There's a lot to be said for trading on former glories
I mean Brigitte Bardot looks like an old scrotal sack these days.
But she's still Brigitte Bardot. I think I'd have to graciously accept, if she offered.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
See also: Jane Fonda

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I'm gonna go home in 5 minutes
how about you?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:56, Reply)
I hour and 5 minutes
Plus I have the added benefit of not being Naked Ape.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)
EVERYONE HAS MISUNDERSTOOD 'BORDERLINE BOILERS'
delete this thread and start again please thanks
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Come on then real/fake Quinten
Give us some examples
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 13:59, Reply)
every time he wanks

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:00, Reply)
rachelswipe's a goodun
erm, courtney love's a mental, but she's not attractive

erm, taht bird who is the fairy in Scrooged?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Tinkerbell?
Would you shove her up your cockend so you could shit glitter?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:02, Reply)
my girlfriend makes cupcakes with edible glitter
i'm always disappointed that my crap doesn't comes out iridescent
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:04, Reply)
the Mexican down the local Mexican restaurant with 3 gold teeth that's a foot shorter than me

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:03, Reply)
just kidding
I hate Mexicans
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Mexican't

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
YOU HAZ A CANDEL!!!!!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:13, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
The vacant looking one from B*witched.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Narrow it down please

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:06, Reply)
OK, so on that basis
You get to fuck one of Corrs, but you don't know which one until the last minute. yes or no?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:07, Reply)
haha!
We had the discussion. Do all the Corrs or none? If so, order?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
violinist
singer
can't remember the other one
jim
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Saving the best for last

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
obvs

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
It's Jim, isn't it?


And yes
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
deborah meaden off dragon's den.
I'd give her an investment eh eh eh!
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:07, Reply)
I'm out

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I'm in, I'm out, I'm in........
I'm done!
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I bet she fucking loves dutch steamboating.
Or reverse dutch steamboating, I never remember which is which.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
she'd fucking love it any way I bet!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
She'd not be a silent partner

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
not a fan of meadon
but the wiggy plastic melty faced one looks like she'd have been ok 150 years ago
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
the one that looks like if Frankenstein's monster was a tranny?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:11, Reply)
yeah, reckon she'd gobble the lot
cock and balls, back of the throat and everything
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Sam Cam

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:18, Reply)
she is clearly dirtier than a Cornish tin miner's sock.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:19, Reply)
Someone posted that they'd seen her snorting coke off tits or something

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:20, Reply)
I bet she goes airtight.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:23, Reply)
The Bosch eco-efficiency 2320

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:21, Reply)
the fact that it's taken this long for someone to come up with this
rather proves that CQ is right about the world, up there.

But still, well done.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:22, Reply)
I found posting the names of random female celebrities then making pervy remarks tedious

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:23, Reply)
*sits back in armchair*
*lights pipe*

Quite so, quite so.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:25, Reply)
Itwould have been less so if we hadn't had this thread a month or two back
and if the same people hadn't wheeled out the same neames then.

And if someone hadn't had to point out halfway down that thread that noone understood the term Boarderline Boilers...
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:29, Reply)
This place repeats itself DAILY.
and you're worried about a thread from a month back?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Wasn't there a whole QOTW about it?
'Nuff said.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Suggested but can't find it
b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post834245#post855423

/ot: b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1252822
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)
ANd also
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1227951
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/iffycrushes/
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Thank you.
so, in conclusion: this has been done. to. death.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)
EMILY MAITLIS!!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)
SEE THIS EVERYONE?
Badger said I was right about something and he's always right so I must be.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:26, Reply)
This means that you have to love me like a brother
No-homo
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:26, Reply)
WHat have you got to do with this?
you are part of the cancer that infects huimanity
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:30, Reply)
He was commenting on my post where he said I was right
So your admiration should be by association
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:31, Reply)
That's not even an English sentence.
Anyway do one marketing boy, you dad was right about you.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)
I'm sensing some suppressed rage
You should see someone about that before you have a coronary
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Nothing suppressed about it.
I've never made any secret about hating everything you stand for, some days I'm just willing to let it slide is all.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
It's enough to restore your faith in humanity

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Yours maybe.
not mine.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I was wrong about something Chompy said the other day
I believe that's pretty much the final harbinger of the apocalypse. Sorry about that.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:28, Reply)
*deletes account*
*kills self*
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:31, Reply)
I just passed a salon called 'Hair by Alan'
Sounds glamourous
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:28, Reply)
Fucking roadworks everywhere, I want to get home and to the pub dammit

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:30, Reply)
VOTE BORIS
with your clunge
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:31, Reply)
You fancy a bit of Boris?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)
I don't have a clunge
or a vote, for that matter. what now, eh?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Vote for a new tram system with your cock

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Don't even go there. Fucking trams.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)
+ p

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
+p

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)
delete your account etcetcetc?
could be a good test for the new pizza oven?
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)
what, killing myself?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)
assuming it's a gas oven

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)
it's electric. I'll be there a while.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
just climb inside and shut the door
i doubt it'll take that long
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Alright swipe
not sure if the post went through on fb, but can't make it on Wed. Still conserving money I'm afraid!
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:58, Reply)
I'm going to see Stewart Francis this evening.
Sadly, he isn't the grape crushing japster, but some other 'funny man' well I'll be the judge of that.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)
is it a date, like?

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Only in so far as today is the 27th April.
It's a night out with people I work with.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
You are celebrating my Dad's birthday

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Not by choice.

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I thought it was your usual trick
of dinner and a reacharound.

CRACKANDSACK!
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)
CRACKERJACK!!!!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
LUMBERJACK!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)
BISCUIT!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Damn!
Beaten to it
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)
the woman sitting opposite me on the bus
But that might be because I'm sitting over the vibrating bit.
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:04, Reply)
That's your reflection in the window

(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)
and the bus isn't moving
the vibration is me wanking beneath your seat
(, Fri 27 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

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