There ain't much going on tonight, is there?
How can such a dullard as I improve things? Not by a huge margin, I expect.

When you cark it, where are your remains going? My answer in replies.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:22, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I couldn't get the right place to map reference
But somewhere on here:-

www.chevinforest.co.uk/
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:25, Reply)

pretty
I don't really care where my remains go, but fired into the heart of a dying sun would be nice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:32, Reply)

It's obviously a hypothetical question anyway
As I am immortal.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:35, Reply)

clearly
the kind when you just don't die, or do you get quick healing powers too?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:37, Reply)

I do - seriously - seem to be indestructible
Now that might be a big sweeping statement but I've bunged all sorts of shite into my body via various means over a lot of years. I have a genetic condition which means that my liver should be knacked.

But I'm still alive. I'm not the fittest 43 year old but I'm in the upper bracket, I'd say.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:44, Reply)

Being buried at sea.
In the instructions that accompany my will.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 20:42, Reply)

Well done TD.
A conversation about death is bound to liven things up!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:03, Reply)

By death, I meant lunch. What are we having for lunch?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:06, Reply)

No idea.
What are you having?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:12, Reply)

That's very kind of you Jeff
A large Pinot Grigiot thanks.

Keep Jeff's change.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:16, Reply)

Oi!
I was going to put the change in the quiz machine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:21, Reply)

You'd only loose it
Better in the barmaid's arse pocket.

Besides, look at her jugs. And she's winking at you.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Seems you've 'lost' it for me anyway.
I'd have won on the quiz machine.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Just pass me off as your retarded cousin.
What was the question?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:26, Reply)

What was the biggest selling single of 1981! :-)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:28, Reply)

Aneka - Japanese Boy

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:28, Reply)

If that's the right answer I'll be astonished. Gut feeling.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:30, Reply)

You're wrong
*TD loses a Try Again*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:30, Reply)

Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up?
I'm not looking this up.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:31, Reply)

No.
It's your favourite singer if a clue would help.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:32, Reply)

No - put me out of my misery

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:33, Reply)

Fuck it's Joe Dolce!

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:35, Reply)

Soft Cell.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1981_in_British_music
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:36, Reply)

OK. Don't look it up then.
How is that connected to Marc Bolan's death?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:38, Reply)

Absolutely no idea.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:40, Reply)

Gloria Jones sang the original version of Tainted Love.
Gloria Jones drove her Mini into a tree with Marc Bolan as a rather unfortunate passenger.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:43, Reply)

Well I never.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:47, Reply)

It'll win you pub quiz points one day

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:49, Reply)

Unless I'm struck down fairly young
There probably won't be anyone around to bother about disposing of me. But I've told mr b3th I'm going to turn him into an artificial diamond, and wear him always. He is less than chuffed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:07, Reply)

What happened to Diamond? Diamond ?!!?!? Diiiiiamond !
the insurance people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:33, Reply)

have a drink
Alt I don't know, but I have a burial plot that my parents bought after my brother died
( Lisette von Falcon, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:12, Reply)

I was being flippant and glib.
Didn't know you'd lost a brother.

Sorry.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:17, Reply)

no worries, how could you?

( Lisette von Falcon, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:52, Reply)

Mum just phoned me.
And asked how to approach a coke head cos she wants to sack one of her employees who's off the rails. No idea mummy, don't ask me that's not my game.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:18, Reply)

hahaha
I suggest you call Mum from Eastenders and revise your position and tell her that you'll be her ketamine advisor.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:23, Reply)

Nigh on impossible
There's very few drug tests commercially available that can trace coke.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:24, Reply)

I've told Mrs Dupinblue that I want to be stuffed
And then mounted in a sitting position at the end of the sofa, as a constant reminder.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:32, Reply)

She won't be making THAT mistake again!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:41, Reply)

Hahaha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:42, Reply)

I've also told her that I want a full New Orleans style funeral
Which annoyed her because she says she would have to see it through, yet would have absolutely no idea how to go about organising it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:44, Reply)

She'll have it in Blackpool so the mourners can use the trams.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:04, Reply)

Over my dead body
Oh...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:08, Reply)

Thank you, Alan Bradley.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:11, Reply)

Carrot on.
Bedtime for me.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 21:53, Reply)

sunday evenings are always so cheery
I don't want to work this week
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:01, Reply)

Alright Captain!
What does this week hold in store for you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:03, Reply)

marking,
terrifying meeting of seriousness and then a larp event at the weekend
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:07, Reply)

Marking and LARPing.
Is the larp thing a 'big one'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:08, Reply)

it's a fairly big one (one of the big four)
the really big one is august.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:10, Reply)

So are you getting all dressed up and drinking mead and stuff.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:11, Reply)

yup
got some new kit (egyptian necklace thing) and may invest in some new greaves when I'm there.

You've reminded me, I need to be working on the booxe for the weekend. To be honest I've not really thought much about it yet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:13, Reply)

What the devil are greaves?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:16, Reply)

leg armour
live vanbraces but for legs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:19, Reply)

Those foam swords can really hurt I'm sure.
Sounds like a sensible purchase.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:21, Reply)

don't make me explain the damage system

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:21, Reply)

If you can be brief, I'd be interested.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:24, Reply)

Lies on the internet

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Alright Bob
How is the exam prep going?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:29, Reply)

Good, welsh dialogue learned. Just finishing last assignment then starting on my three exam questions. You good?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:31, Reply)

Can't complain mate.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:36, Reply)

Grand!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:37, Reply)

in this system each character has 6 location
(head, body, each arm and each leg). As a basic character you have one hit on any of these locations until it it unusable (in the case of body or head, this makes you unconscious)
One more hit on each causes them to bleed (there's some shit about when you die, too, but I'm trying to be brief here)
If you have light armour (furs or leather) you have another hit before it's useless, medium (studded leather) one more and heavy (chain or plate) another.
To have armour you must have spent the points from your character creation and have the actual armour (known as the Physical Representation or Phys Rep.)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:28, Reply)

there is more to it
but a) it's not interesting for a non player and b) I never read the rules
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:29, Reply)

tl:dr - LARPers are weird

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:30, Reply)

Can't you just paint a bit of cardboard silver and pretend?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:30, Reply)

You can't spoil things with pretending
Wait, hang on...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:32, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:36, Reply)

some people use dto have knitted chain mail
but it was shit and they were generally taken the piss out of until they got real chain
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:33, Reply)

If I larped I would carry the biggest foam axe I could carry and wail on the weak all day.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:36, Reply)

you wouldn't be alone
but the size of the weapon has no effect on it's damage unless you can get it some kind of special power
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:37, Reply)

My special power is hitting really hard repeatedly.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:38, Reply)

oh
you'd be one of those dicks 'if you can't hurt the character, hurt the player'
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:39, Reply)

Fuck yeah!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:40, Reply)

power needs.

Which Bob has in buckets.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:39, Reply)

I can't believe that people get the piss taken out of them for not taking larp seriously enough.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:37, Reply)

God I'd kill myself!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:38, Reply)

oh you would be surprised

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:38, Reply)

Do they charge people to larp?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:39, Reply)

yup
you're underestimating how much goes on/needs planning for these things. If nothing else, the cost of the place. The one this weekend will have 1000-2000 people
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:41, Reply)

Bloody hell.
That's massive.

How much do they charge?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:42, Reply)

depends when you book
I've not prebooked for this one, and it's one of the bastard expensive ones, so it'll probably be around £60. That system is getting stupid with prices, but they are the well known one so they get away with it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:43, Reply)

Blimey.
If you've gor 2000 people paying somewhere in the region of sixty quid...

That's like... £60 x 2000 = ..... That's a lot!

What facilities do they provide?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:46, Reply)

that system, not as much as we'd like
but the place is expensive, as are the facilities, then there are big set pieces (the ritual circle is always quite fancy) and costumes for the monsters. There's also a couple of people on the organisation crew who are paid. Rumour is the guy who runs it is loaded, but a bit shit and stingy with actually spending the money :/ quite a few people are moving to other systems
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:49, Reply)

And you still can't pull there?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:42, Reply)

yup
I am that much of a poor catch
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Oooh.
You big meanie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:43, Reply)

I know
I nearly felt bad enough to not post it. Nearly.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:45, Reply)

I'll try and get
sexy greaves
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:46, Reply)

He's in his 70s now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:48, Reply)

He used to be a footballer
And then went on to present a show with Ian St John.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:19, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:20, Reply)

The bassist in Henry Cow.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:28, Reply)

Take the week off
It's ok, I'll cover for you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:04, Reply)

Don't listen to him Captain.
He's a wrong 'un.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:05, Reply)

sounds legit!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:07, Reply)

I'd like my ashes to be mixed with dogshit and smeared on Harry redknapps potato face.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:27, Reply)

What has 'Arry don't to upset you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:30, Reply)

Nothing specific I just don't like him. He just seems to be a bit of a cock.
Best thing is I'm mates with joe Jordan's son so slagging off Harry always gets him to bite.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Is that Andrew or Tom?
Both turned out for City at various points.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:35, Reply)

Tom. My brother knows the sister but never met her. Tom is really nice, trained me when I lived in Bristol.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:37, Reply)

Not sure what happened to either of their pro football careers.
Andrew went to Cardiff when he left City, and I can't remember what happened to Tom.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:38, Reply)

Played for some team down south, haver sham maybe?
Had a good fa cup run a few years ago. Then I don't know?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:39, Reply)

Strange how some players just vanish.
I thought Andrew had the makings of a really good centre back.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:41, Reply)

I didn't know there was an Andrew? Only thought there was two of them.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:59, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Jordan_(footballer)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:05, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Jordan_(footballer)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:06, Reply)

You dick

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:10, Reply)

What?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:13, Reply)

You deliberately picked two random bastards

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:18, Reply)

Ah, the links seem to be broken.
It's underscore bracket footballer close bracket.

You'll have to copy and paste the links.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:19, Reply)

That man can't be toms brother, he played in the forties and was Irish?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:10, Reply)

Off to bed now, night normals!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 22:53, Reply)

I'm hoping we will have a family plot by the time I'm gone
That way, I'll be buried with them.

If not, just somewhere near my Mum.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 29 Apr 2012, 23:21, Reply)