Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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*looks around furtively*Hello? Anyone here?
Where have all the /offtopic posters gone?
I see that fat cockerney gobshite Adele has now outsold Thriller, according to the BBC website. Tell me some facts that astounded you
Alt:
Just fucking post something.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:49,
191 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
This weekend is looking like it might involve the avengers, a bbq and sunday lunchI think all weekends should be three days
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:55,
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That isn't a bad weekend, all toldI am bored of Sunday lunch at the moment though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:57,
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Actually due to the kids we normally end up with a 5.30pm eating time(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:58,
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More food timing news as it happens folks(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:59,
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*puts an egg on to boil*Let me know when its done Sporticus, yeah?
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:02,
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*back flips to cooker*Nope, not yet
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:02,
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It's done now*fucks Stephanie*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:09,
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Bobby's fat astounds me, does that count?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:57,
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YesHow does it astound you?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:58,
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purely the fact that that much matter can remain stable without collapsing in on itselflike a blubbery supernova
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 13:59,
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Would that not be a fat hole?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:01,
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The fact that anyone can use Google Streetview astounds me.I bloody can't. It reminds me of being drunk, I keep coming face to face with unexpected walls.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:01,
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I have a disappearing postman outside my house on Google Streetview(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:02,
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That'd be Google CanalStreetview old chap, sorry to be the bearer..etc
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:03,
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i hate it when you get stuck against a wall and all you can do is zoom inpricks
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:04, Reply)
Are you sure you're not watching a very old screen saver?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
i like using streetview to find places i've never been before, but it isn't the most user friendly interface in the world(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
Scarpe can you do a show and tell for the class on your drunk high and low points pleaseSome of the kids could learn from your experiences
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:10,
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This is taking you ages to put together ...(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:26,
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pub quiz with clients last night (which we won, btw)and one of the music questions was, what's her surname.
baffled us all. luckily the portuguese guy on our team thought it might be "atkins". turned out to be "adkins", but his writing was so bad we got away with it anyway...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:02,
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I want a coffee, but I don't want to make these other cunts a coffeehowever they made me a (horrid) coffee earlier
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:04,
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Go to kitchen - make coffee - go to meeting room - drink coffee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:04,
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Walk out of the kitchen and thank someone in there for making you one(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:09,
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fuckin prick cunts, might just make one and throw in their facesAlso the twat asks if anyone wants a "hot drink" this pisses me off almost as much as saying "I'll have A wine"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:11,
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You are certainly having a whine nowGo and make a fucking brew. If anyone kicks off, kick them in the cunt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:12,
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Don't fuck about with coffee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:15,
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fucks sake, no one wanted one anywayI could have had coffee minutes ago
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:17,
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did you see the list of top ten albums sold in the UK?Queen appear twice and everytihng else is MEGASHIT
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
bbcnews.co.uk\adeletop10\bestsellingfuckoffandfindityourselfyou.prick
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
That link doesn't seem to work q(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:11,
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1. Queen - 'Greatest Hits'
2. The Beatles - 'Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band'
3. Abba - 'Gold'
4. Oasis - '(What's The Story) Morning Glory?'
5. Adele - '21'
6. Michael Jackson - 'Thriller'
7. Dire Straits - 'Brothers In Arms'
8. Pink Floyd - 'The Dark Side Of The Moon'
9. Michael Jackson - 'Bad'
10. Queen - 'Greatest Hits II'
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:18,
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Are you saying you would'nt rub her N-dub?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:27,
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List in full100. Franziska Klein
99. Taylor Swift
98. Jessica Findlay Brown
97. Kate Garraway
96. Helen Skelton
95. Irina Shayk
94. Rita Ora
93. Alexandra Breckenridge
92. Florrie
91. Jenna-Louise Coleman
90. Jenna Randall
89. Christina Hendricks
88. Nicki Minaj
87. Laura Whitmore
86. Jorgie Porter
85. Alexandra Stan
84. Rachel Riley
83. Sofia Vergara
82. Alex Jones
81. Janina Gavankar
80. Caggie Dunlop
79. Jennifer Aniston
78. Freya Mavor
77. Alison Brie
76. Amanda Seyfried
75. Selena Gomez
74. Jennifer Lawrence
73. Kaya Scodelario
72. January Jones
71. Natalie Portman
70. Ashley Greene
69. Abbey Clancy
68. Minka Kelly
67. Lucy Mecklenburgh
66. Una Healy
65. Kim Kardashian
64. Emma Watson
63. Rachel Bilson
62. Hayley Williams
61. Jennifer Lopez
60. Yasmin
59. Britney Spears
58. Christine Bleakley
57. Florence Brudenell-Bruce
56. Kaley Cuoco
55. Carey Mulligan
54. Vanessa Hudgens
53. Olivia Wilde
52. Kristin Stewart
51. Miranda Kerr
50. Jessica Michibata
49. Jade Thirlwall
48. Caroline Flack
47. Helen Flanagan
46. Bar Refaeli
45. Adriana Lima
44. Dianna Agron
43. Nicole Scherzinger
42. Fearne Cotton
41. Jessica Alba
40. Olivia Munn
39. Naya Rivera
38. Beyonce
37. Emma Stone
36. Karen Gillan
35. Paris Hilton
34. Mellisa Clarke
33. Miley Cyrus
32. Kate Middleton
31. Angelina Jolie
30. Scarlett Johansson
29. Taylor Momsen
28. Katrina Bowden
27. Lana Del Rey
26. Michelle Keegan
25. Cher Lloyd
24. Holly Willoughby
23. Kate Upton
22. Berenice Marlohe
21. Laura Haddock
20. Kelly Brook
19. Frankie Sandford
18. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
17. Zooey Deschanel
16. Jessie J
15. Millie Mackintosh
14. Mollie King
13. Daisy Lowe
12. Pixie Lott
11. Pippa Middleton
10. Emily Atack
9. Mila Kunis
8. Keeley Hazell
7. Megan Fox
6. Katy Perry
5. Georgia Salpa
4. Rosie Jones
3. Rihanna
2. Cheryl Cole
1. Tulisa Contostavlos
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:28,
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I don't even know who most of them are(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:29,
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SameAlthough, the fact that Olivia Wilde is only at 53 is ridiculous
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:30,
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Cher fucking Lloyd?Laura Haddock is a class name! As is Alison Brie
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:31,
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I dont have the legs for it any moreAlthough I have actually found when tidying up a modelling gig I did many years ago!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:43,
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ReallyI ended up as a centrespread for a North Tyneside council owned restaurant in a leisure centre!
I shall scan the photo in at some point
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:50,
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha!EXCLUSIVE!
"Fat sweaty internet shut-in grants exclusive access to awkward-socks-on-monkey-love to Page 3 stunna!"
"It's just like winning the lottery!" she whispered croakily at knifepoint.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:04,
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I think Jane Russell won this, last time I read FHM. Or possibly it was Eve.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:48,
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Just reading through that now, fucking hell.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:25,
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Not got access to it at work(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:26,
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your mum came secondthe rest of us spaffed in her eyes simultaneously
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)
My Mum always comes firstUnless she was faking it all those times?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:29,
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With her one-titted blowjob special move?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:34,
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It's almost as if most people are shit and cunts and haven't got a clue, or something.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:17,
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Cunt in their shits, I sayNo, that's not right...
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:19,
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oh wait i dug around a bit and found this11. some shit by Hawkwind
:O!
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)
That's only in the UK though, thankfully.Alt: I found this fairly interesting.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:16,
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I was a bird flu survivorAmazingly, almost everyone didn't die
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:17,
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I thought it was just the female equivalent of man flu?Now that really is fucking deadly.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:18,
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It was mehI felt shit for one day but had to take the week off work so I didn't infect others
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:20,
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*runs to top of stairs**punches sky*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:25,
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It's one of a few publication/ethics debates doing the roundsit is pretty interesting
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:01,
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What song are you listening to right now, or what was the last song you listened to?I am listening to Incubus -Blood on the Ground
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:26,
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Living Colour - Nothingness(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:27,
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I like the eerieness of itTry Leave It Alone from the same album
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:39,
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The last thing I listened to was 'Promises, Promises' by Incubus(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:29,
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No, not that one, 100% less naked models in this one(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:30,
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it's ok, i prefer the original i think though(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:39,
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When I first heard a version of it it was a remix that was sped upand I always preferred it. The Danny Byrd one is close to it.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:45,
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firework and the one that got away by katy perryi used to hate her but my girlfriend likes her so i'm giving her a chance and she's not as bad as i thought
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)
oh wait sorry i mean something by hawkwind and megadeth and loads of bands you've never heard of(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I was into Katy Perry before she was bornshe's totally sold out now.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:55,
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i don't like her that way, she's just a poet who speaks to me on a deep and personal level"did you ever feel like a paper bag, floating on the wind, wantiong to start again? did you ever feel like a house of cards, only paper thin, one blow from falling in?"
beautiful
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)
The Murder of Maria Marten - Shirley Collins(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:41,
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Did you get very far?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 May 2012, 14:54,
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how serendipitousi'm currently listening to Embalming Fluid by Well preserved Minds
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:06, Reply)
Kula Shakers follow up .....(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:10,
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fuck thatwear her like a hat.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:18,
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you guys are sick and disappointshe's just a woman, same as most others, your girlfriends would be very disapointed, shame on you all
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
Thank god you're here to defend the rights of the women of the world.(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
this place would be a creepy hive of pervy old men if it wasn't for me(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:22, Reply)
His female boss wouldn't allow him to read it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:32,
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she's probably bitter because all the male bosses earn more than she does(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)
They say that a woman's work is never done. Which is why they earn less.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
I haven't got a girlfriend. I have been keeping myself pure for La Perry.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:22, Reply)
I suspect my wife would wonder what was wrong with meIf I didn't suggest wearing that Perry lass like a hat.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:36,
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I dont think you couldShe's recently had her massive cunt removed
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:36,
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there are nicer ways of putting it' i'd like to hold katy perrys hand and tell her her music speaks to me'
i'd fuck that katy perry so hard in the face her jaw would fall off and she'd starve to death
that kind of thing etc
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
no just a bit bland and got a face like a disabledalso a bit skinny, curves are nice and i've never seen her in anything that made me think 'you knoww hat? she'd be fun'
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
see?legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/012011/Katy-Perry-Secrets-5.jpg
legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/012011/Katy-Perry-Secrets-8.jpg
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
arh she looks quite sweet before she became a manufactured sex femboti485.photobucket.com/albums/rr219/september17th/katyperry.jpg
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Katy Perry is my ideal woman.She'd have to spend the afternoon in a sheep dip bath to get the Brand off her, though.
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Kroney, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:24,
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She didn't receive all those toenails you sent her in that display case then?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
I had to LTI for a while as my connection was down, but I've fixed it nowwoot?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:41,
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ExcellentWhat odds did you get?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:50,
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bugger, I knew there was something I was supposed to do at lunchtime!Who was the tipster anyway?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:54,
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Not sure tbh, this is the first tip I've taken of theirs.I've seen people thank them before though, so it's not all bad.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:02,
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My ex has cancelled my visit tonight and is taking my kid away for the weekend.I want to wring her fucking neck the spiteful cunt.
My ex is alright though.
LOL*
*no lolz here. I am most upset.
/beakerwoes
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
Spite. Seriously.She asked if I would come round last night to write our appeal re school but I was busy - and as I was coming tonight anyway and not staying, we could have done it whilst I was already there after our kid went to sleep. This suggestiob made her go mental and start going on about 'your girlfriend won't let you come round' and all manner of insane and completely made up nonsense. Now tonight's off too. CUNT.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
why does she hate you so much? what did you do to invoke these feelings?(, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
ah right, i can see why that would drive someone to the edge of contempt(, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)
It's the sort of thing that could turn Monty into an angry, bitter man.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
You have to go to court which takes time and money and all the judge can really do is ask her not to do it again.
(, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Well....I could spend three plus grand taking her to court. She’d be told off, she’d apologise. The end.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
Can you not just turn up on the doorstep?When yout girl sees you she'll want to see you and well you're there anyway...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:56,
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2nd floor flat. No access from street without being buzzed in.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 May 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
"Delivery for spiteful cunt flap, don't worry I'll bring it up"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 May 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
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