I'm teaching myself illustrator, to complement my photoshop skills
but apart from some basic html, I have no idea when it comes to coding. That's firmly DJ's department.

There's been some good looking entry level SQL jobs going in Weston recently though.

The thing is, I'm bloody intelligent, and I learn quickly. If I needed a certain skill for a job, I could pick it up quickly enough. I just don't know how to put that in a CV so it doesn't sound like I'm a total chancer.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 20:58, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

SQL is pretty easy, you'll pick it up really easy.
One of my favorite enterance tests for it is the following, how would you do it? You don't have to write any code, just tell me what the table(s) you would use and how you would connect them...

You have Mummy Sheep and Daddy Sheep, they can be male or female. They have to be Black or White. Every sheep has one Mummy and one Daddy, but not all sheep have a baby. They all have one name too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:07, Reply)

I have no idea what you just asked.
I wouldn't even know where to start.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 21:10, Reply)

No worries, I can explain this which will teach you a few things.
Do you know the idea behind Primary Keys and Secondary Keys?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:12, Reply)

Um.... no?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 21:13, Reply)

How about a spreadsheet?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:15, Reply)

That one I do know.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 21:15, Reply)

Cool, OK.
A database is a series of spreadsheets called 'tables'. For the sake of simplicity, you give each column a name and type (such as if you're expecting a number or some words or lots of words). Then each row is one line of data.

In order to know you're looking at the right row, you have something called a Primary Key. This is normally a number that goes from 1 to a zillion, but sometimes its a bunch of random characters known as a 'hash', or if you _know_ you can put some words in that'll be unique for that line, you can use that. The best way is to use numbers that autoamticly go up by 1, because you can judge how it works better.

Then sometimes you might want what they call a Secondary Key, this is one of the other (or same)'s primary keys, so you can make a 'join' between the two rows.

There are differnt types of joins, but I'll start at the front. "One to many" where one row can have many rows using it's secondary key.

So say you have a table of CUSTOMERS with the columns "UserID" (the Pimary Key), "Name" and "address". "One customer can have (to) Many orders". You could have a second table with ORDERS on it. So that could have "OrderID", "CustomerID" and "Product Name".... the Customer ID (secondary key) would be = to someone's UserID (primary key) on the other table.


....... does this make sense?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:27, Reply)

...
Customer Table
|UserID|Name|Adddress|
|1 | B3th | Bristol
|2 | Gonz | London
|3 | Barry | HMPS Holloway.

Order Table
|OrderID| CustomerID | Product|
| 1 | 1 | Shirts |
| 2 | 1 | Shorts |
| 3 | 2 | Condoms |
| 4 | 3 | Sunglasses |
|5 | 1 | train ticket to london.

---------------------
So with this, we can see that b3th (userID: 1) bought Shirts, Shorts and a train ticket. That I bought condoms and barry bought some sunglasses.


//edit// My mistake, I placed myself in bristol, that I've now changed to london.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:44, Reply)

Haha this is excellent

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:47, Reply)

I have learnt so much from these few posts

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:50, Reply)

=D
So using this, how would you two do the sheep thing I started this on?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:55, Reply)

Really slowly.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:01, Reply)

hmm
OK I would use a sheep ID as the primary key.
[sheepID],[name],[gender],[colour],[Generation],[kids]
using generation as the secondary key

as in
[generation],[sheepID],[name],[kids],{sheepID]*

*lists sheepID of ofspring
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:05, Reply)

Swot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:06, Reply)

Is that correct?
Its probably too convoluted
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:07, Reply)

Dunno
I'm not trying to work it out.
I'm drinking and listening to music.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:11, Reply)

woah me too
must be friday
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:22, Reply)

Almost, really close. You got the trick question in there... doing it all in one table.
But the one you would use

SheepID| Name* | *Colour | MotherID | FatherID |

Every sheep has a mother and father, but not all have children. You wouldn't use the offspring one because although you can have blank, not all of them would have kids. The FatherID and MotherID are the Secondary Keys and SheepID is the pimary key.

* not really relivent for this example, but its just to show that there are tables that _aren't_ keys.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:12, Reply)

ah,
I assumed that I would need to keep track of the generations
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:13, Reply)

You can do that with this, see down there a bit =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:33, Reply)

Gonz, can you see the matrix?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:16, Reply)

Haha, right click on most web pages and go 'view source'.
I can read all that like english, and pretty much like 99% of the stuff that its linked too.... and pretty much the level behind that which generates what you see. And the level behind that which is the database itself. That's where I'm fluent. The level behind that, which is the server stuff, I can semi-read (for lack of a better expression) but not enough to say its part of my job. The next layer behind that, the operating system, I can read, and the final layer which is the hardware, I don't have a clue.

It's more Inception than Matrix =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:35, Reply)

nice

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:43, Reply)

I think that would probably make sense
if my brain hadn't given up for the weekend.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 22:22, Reply)

Hah, no worries, if you want any help or advice, I can give it.
I found a wicked programing learning tool last week which is what I'd be learning if I was starting out and not already good at what I do.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:36, Reply)

ooh. hit me up.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 22:42, Reply)

+side the head.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:42, Reply)

Check this.
tryruby.org/levels/1/challenges/0
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:05, Reply)

I would learn HTML5 and CSS3 first though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:06, Reply)

Also, big tip, I know it looks easy but don't ever use tables for layout.
It is a key sign of someone who doesn't keep up to date.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:11, Reply)

Yeah, I know tables make a complete arse out of pages of html

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 4 May 2012, 21:14, Reply)

You can use them pretty well to make things look how you want, but they don't scale very well, google hates the code, and it acts differently in differnet browsers.
"Tables for tabulur content" is the rule of thumb, so many people up to recently still used that though. It's CSS all the way these days.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 21:18, Reply)

Gonz, does your dyslexia ever get in the way of your coding, or are writing and coding completely different for you?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:26, Reply)

Good question
I too have wondered this.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:29, Reply)

I'm a nosey cunt me, and a teacher so I love learning about SEN.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:30, Reply)

It's the oppersite. I have a few spelling mistakes but they're mostly consistant so that means it always matches up.
Like one that really bugged people was that I made something that I called "Percistant Sidebar", I always spell percistant that way so it always works. I try my best not to do that though as other people need to know what it means and where to find it.

My head jumps around, like I read your "nosey cunt" post before tangle's one. That is great for programing, I can see flows about how things move about. Where as latin languages are left to right, top to bottom, which means my brain jumps and sometimes I end up reading the same line or paragraph over.

so I see the following as

for ($i = 0; $i < 10; $i++) {
   if ($i == 5) { echo "Hello"; } else { echo "Good Bye" }
}

I would read that as "if $i is the same as 5 then we'll put the words hello on the screen, otherwise, we'll do the words good bye. We'll do that 10 times and incriment the number each time starting from 0."
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:45, Reply)

I think there is a very real chance that you are an android.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:48, Reply)

Haha, I did once want to get a magnetic implant in my little finger so I can 'feel' magnettic currents.
The idea sounds amazing but I couldn't have an MRI with it in.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:17, Reply)

Are you a dyslexic too gonz?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 22:46, Reply)

Yup, totally.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:04, Reply)

Me too
I have serious mindwrongs.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:14, Reply)

It's alright, never stopped me before, and I comunicate more through the written word that voice.
It's no longer synominous with being thick.

If I had to hand-write the internet that would be a different story though.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:18, Reply)

yeah
I am in the bottom 8% of the population for verbal communication
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:24, Reply)

How would one work that out? I've no idea how to get that figure on myself, let alone a population.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 4 May 2012, 23:28, Reply)