A friend of mine is working thi sevent as a steward:
http://www.erotic-awards.co.uk/ (NSFW)
You can take it as read that I'm calling him a massive sweaty pervert. Aside from the awards ceremony, which seems to be a Baftas for the Sex Industry, there is a giant party and orgy afterwards.
He says he does it because it's nice to help disabled dwarves have a good time. (though as far as I know he really is just a steward and not a participant)

Among the famous guests for the awards ceremony are northern writer and general luvvie Alan Bennett, and porn director Ben Dover.

What two weird famous people do you think should get together and go out? I reckon Prince Phillip and Sly Stallone's mum would have an interesting evening.

Alt: lunch, or whatever. I don't care.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 12:46, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Afternoon b3thers
I'd say Louis Walsh and Ict-T. Fingers crossed he'd be shot

Alt:
Spicy chicken noodle soup with peanuts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:49, Reply)

I always read the Lidl advert when it comes through the door on a Monday.
Next week they're advertising 'a taste of Africa' with chicken and peanut soup. It sounds horrible.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)

It's non-stop C-R-AZY with you isn't it!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)

Mine was most lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Margret Thatcher and Peter Sutcliffe.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)

What's Peter done to deserve this?
I'm sure she's just kept alive, by powdered baby pills, and virgin blood.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 8 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)

You'd better watch out then

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:59, Reply)

I once spoke to Ben Dover on the phone, his real name is Lyndsey
alt: Gary Busey and Godzilla

alt: Mexican tomato soup; soup is shit FACT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)

Alt, Garry Bushell and Mozilla.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Yes, regular dining partners. With better table manners than you.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:02, Reply)

That first question wasn't an alt, you spastic.
Unless you're having Gary Busey and Godzilla for lunch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:01, Reply)

Gary is bringing Rose and Godzilla has made a cheesecake!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:03, Reply)

According to wikipedia (therefore it must be true)
His real name is Simon, Lyndsay was a pseudonym.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

I thought it was Steve.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

Shteve?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Nope, that was a pseudonym too.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

My brother does the graphics for the Ann Summers Annual conference every year
Pros: lots of lingerie models wandering around backstage
Cons: lots of desperate menopausal women getting drunk and "handsy"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)

drunk middle aged women make Peter Stringfellow look like a monk.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)

he has some terrible stories
Afternoon B3th, how are you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:13, Reply)

your brother is Dan Brown AICMCOTHC

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

not bad, ta.
your good self?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)

not too bad
first day travelling to the office from my new flat and managed to forget my swipe card. Have to keep reporting to reception in order to go our for a smoke :( Still, it's a quick commute and the flat is good so can't grumble.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Oh, go on.
You're British, aren't you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

How much are tickets?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)

37.50 conc or 75 full price plus booking fee

( Kroney, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)

is the concession for kids?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)

Pre-booking, I guess.
*shrug*

It's unlikely to be with a valid NUS card/bus pass
( Kroney, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)

Nope, that's exactly who it's for.
Hah
( Kroney, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

Dwarves and OAPs.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)

The stars have to pay?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

One of the ideas of the event
is for disabled people to join in the orgy. According to teh website, if you see one of them struggling with anything, you should offer to give them a hand.

pfft.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

+job?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I'm out.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

out spent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

out so fucking horny at the idea of blowing my load over a really big face that I may have to go bog wanking, in the disabled loo of course
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)

That's no moon (face)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)

Help spackers fuck each other at an orgy? No thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

This is why i've never beeen to a Bash

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Fuck that, reaching out and getting hold of a thamidolide claw would downgrade me from defcon bongle quicker than janet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

I'm spent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:37, Reply)

I worked at a fetish night on Sunday.
There was a dwarf dressed as a Nazi, friendly chap.
( wanderlust, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)

I bet monty would have fucking loved that.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:16, Reply)

I called him to let him know.

( wanderlust, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)

Thanks Stevie Wonder

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

ing lov
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)

You wish, little man

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)

I think this is going to be the second or third time he's worked this event.
He usually spends the summer working the festivals. I guess it's nice to get an indoor job occasionally.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)

I had to work in the dungeon and can't say it was the nicest place I've worked.
People dancing with their cocks out is fine. People getting wanked off next to me is slightly upsetting.
( wanderlust, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Oh man, I soo missed a trick there.
What are the rules at these places?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

no scat

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)

No trying to get the bar staff to join in.

( wanderlust, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Is there any rules like "What goes on in The Torture Garden Sex Dongen STAYS in The Torture Garden Sex Dongen... except STIs" ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:50, Reply)

Is it considered arrogent to just leave when you're done? I mean, like at a poetry reading.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)

They're an awful bunch of 'look at me' cunts.
Horrendous people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)

They have more than one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

You mean they order coffee at a drinking bar?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)

I suppose so.
From what I could see it was a lot of not very attractive people getting spanked or going down on each other. There's certain rules about if someone says no then they mean no, much like in real life.
( wanderlust, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Sounds alright really, I could give that a shot.
I'll iron my Ben Sherman.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Don't aim for the face!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:37, Reply)

Tits are a better landing area

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:43, Reply)

aim for own then
EDIT: + your
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:44, Reply)

My moobs will not be jizz sullied

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)

'shaken, not stirred'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Axl Rose and Ann Widicome
on a night out at Stringfellows
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

Ann Widdecombe should go out with a bunch of footballers
and let them try to spitroast her afterwards. I would love to read about the aftermath of that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)

You sick, sick, sick girl

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Oh, you love it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)

Peter Tatchell and Fred Phelps
With any luck, their self-promoting and twattishness would cause a black hole, sucking them both in.

Alt: Chicken and mushroom pasta
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)

Alright b3th?
I donno who I'd like to see fuck, when it comes to famous people. Nancy and Bekka From Hollyoaks and me. I'd like that one. The loose women girls on the telly just now were talking about sex toys, it was a bit "=/".

I'm getting excited at my iPhone, it should be here tomorrow.

I just got a "Oh man, we really like him but we need someone qualified in Zend" reply to my CV, which is fair enough. I told them that I'm happy to learn it and it'll be quick to learn as it's so similar to something I already know. This one was for a job that I wanted, rather than just went for just as experiance. BUT, but, there is another one with the same recruiter that is really similar that they're putting me forward for. It's in Chelsea, which is alright, nice bit of london that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:27, Reply)

The two famous people don't have to have sex.
I just wondered who would make unusual partygoing mates.
Ann Widdecombe getting roasted is just a private fetish.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Not so private now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Becca lives near me, I sometimes see her in Sainsbury's or the post office

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:32, Reply)

from your high powered binoculars

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)

+one-handed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)

She looks a bit rough these days tbh
Not as bad as Annaka Rice though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:38, Reply)

Stop the cock, I've found it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:39, Reply)

freudian?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:40, Reply)

Nope
Purpose
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:42, Reply)

It's ok, i'd still do her the favour.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:42, Reply)

the favour
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)

In other news:
Yo Yo Ma so good, she got a prize

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17989083
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)