Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
people who have pissed you off todaybirmingham midshires - you're all cunts
aah
alt q - whatever
(
zulu eh?, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:45,
166 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
YouYou've pissed me offf with this pathetic attempt at a thread, please remove yourself from the internet and repeatedly punch yourself in the face
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
I've pissed on your mum's tits if that helps?It helped me, that's for sure.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
We've all done that Monty!
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
There >was< quite a queue, actually.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
I got a fast-pass and went back after lunchWent right to the front
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Fucking wish I'd thought of that.There's always tomorrow I suppose.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
It means you have to wait a whilebut the rewards are obvious
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
There's so much negativity around here todayAim your anger in a more practical direction. Try to make Ricky Gervais kill himself.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
EEEEExactlyNow get outta here, you knucklehead!
*ruffles*
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
Did someone call for some anger?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Gracious noIn fact, quite the opposite. Why, has something upset you?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
No. Apparently I am one of the angriest people on OT. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
Oh, I seeNo, I think we're ok. It seems that Zulu is cross with some people today, but I think we're beginning to work through it.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Okay. Let me know if you need me. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
You'll be the first to know if it turns ugly(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
leave it out TH, battered's on my teami'd like you on my team when it all kicks off too, but i don't want me and battered getting hurt cos we have to look out for you
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
I'm a lover, not a fighter QYou know that better than most
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
its true and thats why i didn't want you getting hurtwhen the talk-off topic armistice b4sh happens and it all kicks off cos baldmonkey calls psychochomp a donkeywhore and sportscow goes to glass him in defense its best you just step back out of it
me and battered will sort it all out, eventually it'll just be me and him against all of you, and even though you'll all lose the bringing-togetherness of the situation will have fixed any animosity between the boards
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I'm glassing nee oneunless they spill my pint
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
What a sad day that will be(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
I am a leader of teams, not a participant in them. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
hey i'm not arguing with you, i don't care who is leader of our two man teamall i know is that when your kicking all their asses i wanna be right behind you
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:31, Reply)
'There's no I in team'
'But there is a U in cunt'
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
there is an i in independent, and in spasticand there are 5 'u's in fuck you you fucking cunt
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
No, I'm Spartacus(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I met up with Zulu last week and introduced him to my lovely wife.'Zulu - Dawn' I said.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Oh I say!Yes, quite good!
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
NpowerDo not start me on this, we will still be here next week and I have to find a job..
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:02, Reply)
I can't believe Nakers broke the internet with all his fake accounts.He and the rest of his Asian rape-gang should feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
But what about the free chips?!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I hope it's rape, it's rape(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Where is internet lawyer manI need to sue you for lible and for being a cunt
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
Would you swear an oath on the bibel?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
No, but I would stick my cock in your mum's shitpipeDoes that help?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
It didn't help her anal prolapse(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Stole the words from out of my fingers(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Stole the turds from right out of my glans.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
It must have been while you were fisting him(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
God damn it, there is a new thread and everyone'll miss my go-off-on-one about dishing the dirt on the alt user name.What kind of dullard fucking prick would get so involved in this shitcunt's game of anti-pandering enough to actaully gaz you?.
Don't get me wrong. You're the one being wronged; ok, not your fault. And the other person is trolling, which is OK, it's what we do here. Sometimes. But some prick's gotten involved in the pulling-on-hair and done a running to teacher. Unless Al himself gazed you and is double bluffing, then that's cool. Or if it's a chick who gazed you, 'cus they get a free pass at being pathetic. But everyone else, whoever did it... go fucking put some binoculars out of your curtains and report to Miss Murry _exactly_ what time her daughter got home from the pictures last night
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
It's ok, GonzI don't think anyone actually did gaz him.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Damn it, it's not very often I get to be selfrightious. Normally it's _me_ who is the one crapping his pants.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
I'll tell who it was - that cunt Zulu.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
Yeah good one Zulu, fuck off and have a cry in the bogs(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
I WAS JUST THINKING THAT !!!!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
OMG! You guys have got some kind of, like, psychic connection or something(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Hang on.....Chompy works for the NHS and Rory does something medically related too. SOCKPUPPET!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
The usual bellends who choose to drive to work at the same time as me......and fail to meet my strict criteria for not pissing me off on the roads in the morning.
At work I'm pretty much left to myself so no problems there. I only just found out that someone here was due to go on maternity leave next week. No one even bothered to tell me they were pregnant and not just a cakeaholic.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
I made the mistake once of telling a cakeaholic congratulations on their pregnancyoops
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
It's the second time she's been pregnant since I've been working hereShe had a miscarriage quite late on the first time. No one bothered to tell me that either. A colleague said to me one day that 'xxxx is coming in to see us today'. 'Oh' I said 'is she bringing in the baby to show around to everyone?' *stony silence*
That could have been a fucking epic disaster.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
ooofEPIC foot in mouth avoided
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
Oh this is the perfect thread for me today. Royal Mail, Parcelforce, two eBay sellers and some online book shop that have really fucked me over this afternoon.
But life's too short to be angry for too long, I'm a happy chappy overall so it's all gravy init. Not letting the above arseholes dictate how I feel.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
I have sold some jeans today and have a CD winging its way to me from eBay(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:22,
Reply)
It is really hard to spunk into the CD drawer(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:24,
Reply)
I got my iphone today, it fucking rocks, I love it. It's so easy to make calender events and stuff now.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
iPhone 4S? Good luck with the battery life.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
I simply leave mine plugged in, solves this problem in a flash(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
or you know, turn off bluetooth and wifiand anything else thats on that doesn't need to be
or just get a better phone that doesn't need to keep sending data back to apple every 2 minutes so they know when you're having a shit and which hand you're wiping with
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
OR fucking kill yourself (not you Quint)(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:45,
Reply)
cheers monty, the more we encourage suicide here the more likely its gonna happen eventually(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
The turning off the apps thing is an illusion.Apps have 5 running modes, Active, Inactive, Susspended, Background & one more that I can't remember. When they're in (I think, I might be mixed up on some of these)...
- susspended, they aren't running any proccesses, so aren't using any battery life. Only memory, which gets diverted away from the app if it's not in use.
- Inactive: Not used or open or background or anything. Doesn't use anything.
- Active: Open fully and that's whats infront of you.
- Background: Still has push notifications, doesn't matter if its 'open' or not.
- The 5th one: Same as Active, but there is a lock screen infront of it.
It is very clever with it's memory and proccessor allocation. The bar should be reffered to as 'recently used' rather than 'multi-tasking'.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
What about the 6th secret onewhich tells you who the sockpuppets are?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:58,
Reply)
But you're spot on about Wifi and Bluetooth, and you can stop the reporting thing; I turned it off straight away.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:00,
Reply)
I'll be honest, I accdiently stumbled across a video that explained this yesterday while I was in "OMG NEW TOY" mode, rather than knew it from one of my technical levels.But as someone who plans to make an app someday, its handy to know. I feel being a smug iPhone developer is like putting on some well loved slippers, in that respect.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:09,
Reply)
you should make an app which tells you the status of all the other appsyou could call it appapp
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)
There is one for OSX which deletes them called ZapApp or something like that. I could never hope to create a pun based app better than that.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:12,
Reply)
how about app-end, it could do the same as the one you mentioned but sounds posher(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
'Appa Mundi'/moderately highbrow
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:13,
Reply)
'A-wAPP-bopa lula-awAPP-bam-boom'This one needs work.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:15,
Reply)
wr-appan app that lets you take a photo of a present you need to wrap,a nd based on the shape of it tell you the best way to wrap it
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
damned useful around christmas and birthdaysi'm not bad at wrapping things but nothing is square anymore
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:25, Reply)
My secret skill is wrapping bottles.I can make them look great.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:28,
Reply)
man you ain't tougher than an axolotldon't be comin round here cos you ain't got the bottle
that kind of thing?
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:30, Reply)
Precisely.last year I 'battled' the entire pile of presents under my tree AND WON.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:33,
Reply)
Wait a minute.My ‘Affirmative APPtion’ is messaging me about this post.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:18,
Reply)
its a tr-appan encyclopedia of star wars quotes for every occasion
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:18, Reply)
I'm starting to think Gonz's heart's not really in this.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:19,
Reply)
It's s-app-ing my will to live, a little.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:22,
Reply)
Oh contree mon cherie.I promise you, within 3 months, I shall have at least one of these suggestions done.
I hate to say this but my initial thoughts are to do a "brapp-brap", when you shake the phone it does the the finger-clapping thing and says a random sound like "YEAH' BOI'" and "SAFE BLUD".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:23,
Reply)
I think I need some App-tamil follow-on milk.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
Jesting asideI reckon 'apptitude' might be a goer.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
It's so good I bet you're right.Something that helps you find the right app for what you want or some shit?
What do I know? I have a fucking Nokia.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:32,
Reply)
GOT IT!!!'Fwapp' - a porn app.
THIS IS GOLD HERE.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:34,
Reply)
No smut in the app store I'm afraid.They have Over 18 apps, but no proper decent get your willy out smut.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:36,
Reply)
Damn. I thought I'd got a great one there.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:37,
Reply)
how about an app that when you unplug the headphonesIt plays a little animation of how to wrap them up so they don't get tangled.
It probably wouldn't have an amusing pun on the word 'app'in the name though.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:41,
Reply)
'Wr-APP up your cans you Deacon'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:42,
Reply)
GOT IT!!! Pt.2One that plays 'I've got the Power' when your phone's fully charged, called 'SN-APP'
God I'm good.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:43,
Reply)
‘Affirmative APPtion’ – tells you if something is RACIST.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:17,
Reply)
Dude, that's your television.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
Yup, and, ermm.... thank you. I think.Good luck with your phone's battery life too, may it last you all day and all night. May everybody's battery life last all day and all night, and god bless us all.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:52,
Reply)
my battery lasts 2-3 days sometimesbut thats only when i haven't been homme for a bit and i forgot my charger (not the horse kind)
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Mine lasts six months.And my dad's in the SAS.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
The gods _have_ been kind to you. I am ever so pleased that your battery life lasts you the time required.I'd wish you more good luck with your battery life, but I can see you don't need it.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:58,
Reply)
Thecolossal bellend in a Civic on the M42 this afternoonWho had no idea where he was going, couldn't indicate, cut me up - twice - and nearly forced a lorry to jacknife. Finally stopped at the Tamworth junction and was seen to be texting! CUUUUUUNT!!!!
Plus all of the colossal fucktards on the motorway, in rain/spray conditions who think that sidelights are enough - and the BMW driving cunts who don't use lights at all.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
I know who it was.It was Zulu poster. And Naked Ape was navigating.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
The only thing I've navigated is your mum's "Mighty Yukon"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
Surely they can't have been driving ALL of the carsHowever, I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt on this.
It was all their fault.
(, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I'm telling you.I got gazzed about this earlier, I know all about it.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:45,
Reply)
sorry montyMissed your post yesterday, please look at this.
www.fathers-rights.co.uk/
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:00,
Reply)
And just who the FUCK are you?Can we get back to the days of the same six posters making crap puns and complaining about how dead it was here, please? I am out of my comfort zone with all these ALLEGEDLY new posters coming in, pretending they're not a cheap Bert facsimile.
(
Kroney, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:04,
Reply)
You would say that SEEING AS YOU ARE REALLY THE MASKED SOCK-PUPPETEER!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:12,
Reply)
Just so you know, because of all the terrible bullying and sock puppet shennigansI've decided to take the long walk to KFC, I won't be deleting my account on the way through so that my profile page can serve as a shrine to my passing.
"Why do only the good die young?"
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:15,
Reply)
Can I have your login then?See ya.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
no, you can have my final bot dog before the end arrivesI'll send it special delivery
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:17,
Reply)
Public service announcement.Kilo comes from the Greek "khilhoi", meaning "a thousand". Mega from the Greek meaning "great", Giga from the Latin "gigas" meaning "giant", Tera from the Greek "teras" meaning "monster". Peta and Exa from the Greek words "pente" and "hex" meaning five and six.
The next prefixes are Latin. Zetta from the last letter of the Latin alphabet, then Yotta from the penultimate and so on. Presumably, they didn't think they'd need a prefix greater than zetta when they coined it.
This means, at some point, there will be a "mingabyte" drive in your computer, which I am lobbying to be renamed the "montybyte".
Public service announcement ends.
(
Kroney, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:36,
Reply)
Prefixes, like suffixes, non?Not like auspices.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:46,
Reply)
who?Can we get back to the days of the same six posters making crap puns and complaining about how dead it was here, please? I am out of my comfort zone with all these ALLEGEDLY new posters coming in, pretending they're ME
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:44,
Reply)
You've got his number alright.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:47,
Reply)
I know(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:49,
Reply)
he isDeffo long winded
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:57,
Reply)
there's a campaign to make the prefix for 10^27 "Hella"(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:57,
Reply)
where's the ming coming from?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:59,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »