eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevening chumps
what's the best thing about you? Why should you be allowed to stay in the balloon?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:21, Reply)

I'm an amazing didgeridoo player

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:24, Reply)

you, sir, are out of the balloon

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:28, Reply)

I HOPE YOU ALL FLY INTO A PYLON !!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:29, Reply)

and I hope you land on a python

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:32, Reply)

I'm well dapper.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:25, Reply)

I'm more of an all-rounder
But in the context of ballons, I suspect my ability to keep it flying would make me worth keeping, at least compared to those who have answered so far.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:29, Reply)

in that you can produce the hot air
to keep it going?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:32, Reply)

He used one in his circumnavigation of the globe in just 80 days!

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:38, Reply)

80 days! I don't believe it!
I'll wager it would take upwards of half a year, even with today's marverlous inventions
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:46, Reply)

where did this come from?
not tha I object but is it as simple as moustache = philias fogg?
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:57, Reply)

I believe this is the extent of Monty's wit, yes

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:06, Reply)

fuk me thats tenuous
oh well, works for me
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:13, Reply)

Well you have waxed tips no?
Which is pretty vintage, anyway tenousness has nothing to do with it, he call's me a bent spastic for god's sake!!
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:16, Reply)

Having met CQ more than once I am able to confirm he has a fine moustache. You, however, I have not met, but can confirm you appear to be a bit of a cock. HTH.

( Battered I can see! I have legs!, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:18, Reply)

cheers Batte

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:21, Reply)

No, actually. I have yet to find a wax to my tastes.
and you are in marketing, bent spastic is a step up
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:19, Reply)

more my technical abilities
but hot air i can do from both ends
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:55, Reply)

Given my penchant for threatening violence I can keep all other passengers in order by threatening them if they mis-behave

( Battered I can see! I have legs!, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:49, Reply)

someone could just put you in their pocket
to shut you up, though
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 18:50, Reply)

Polly Pocket: Special Battered Edition

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:06, Reply)

I am tall, so could reach up to fix the burners if necessary
I am also good at making tough decisions so could help you push out whoever we decide must leave
(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:11, Reply)

Fuck your balloon
I'm going in Quinten's helicopter
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:24, Reply)

I wish I'd thought of this
are you on his team then? WHen It All Goes DOwn?
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:26, Reply)

I weigh less than the others
Surely if we are going to keep this balloon airborne, we need to eject the heavier passengers?
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:36, Reply)

Plus we don't want fat people in this new found world we're off to.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Sorry Cavy
I realise it's your balloon, but Baz and I have been talking and I'm afraid you're out.
I'm sure Rory will keep you entertained with his didgerido.
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:44, Reply)

:(
but the new world will need larpers
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:49, Reply)

You can come on my Aircraft carrier if you like.
Leave the students and the hippies on the balloon
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:51, Reply)

She has a point Tangled, we will need people to bully and make ourselves feel superior.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:53, Reply)

Oh man, just now I was like "Remind me in 17 minutes to take the pizza out oven" and KAPLOWIE, 17 minutes later, it reminded me to take the pizza out the oven. And I have perfect pizza tonight !
And I was like "Remind me at 9:30 to all mum at home" and KAPLOWIE, it asked me if [ma's name] was my mum, I said yes, it then asked me if I would like to call her at home or mobile, and I said home, and KAPLOWIE, it'll do the job.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:40, Reply)

I donno how to take photos with instantgram though.
I'm learning how to speak normally but clearly to it. At first I was making sure there were pauses'n'stuff, but it's like I've learnt I just gotta speak normally.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:43, Reply)

I don't like Siri.
Mostly because he doesn't like me :( tinyurl.com/ccnzrjn
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:54, Reply)

HaHa! you are on povofone

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Vodafone is hardly cheap.
Unfortunately.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:03, Reply)

no?
i hear it's got less crap too
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:15, Reply)

It's still pretty pants.
Only O2 are more expensive. Paid my bill yesterday, sixty quid. Robbed.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:28, Reply)

Yeah, been on o2 forever, best data allowance, last I checked
I get a fairly good deal, due to longevity.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:33, Reply)

I want to be on O2.
But I'm beyond impatient and didn't want to wait two weeks for them to get the new iPhone in so went with Vodafone cos I was already with them and it was a piece of piss to sort out.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:36, Reply)

i'm on sim-only contract
so I buy my own phones, I'm too picky for anything else.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:44, Reply)

I'll be moving back to O2 come my next contract.
Only thing that gets me about them is that their shortest contract is 18 months for a decent phone, and I like my gadgets. Although I reckon I could buy the contract out at around 12 months given the fact you can upgrade two months early... so that'll get me the latest stuff regular enough. Or I might just go PAYG and buy the phone outright.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:25, Reply)

Haha, I did the same.. Story of my life this.
imgur.com/0a6Ji
imgur.com/nUVuL
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Don't worry.
I'll jump.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:58, Reply)

Alright Jeff?

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Good mate.
Just making my home from work. How is gainful treating you?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:10, Reply)

Not bad.
Contract extended by another month last week, and have the opportunity to apply for a higher position as they've waived the ' you have to be there for five months before you can apply for other posts' rule. Plus, all indications are that things could well become permanent as that seems to be the way they roll.
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:23, Reply)

Not that I'm counting my chickens, mind...

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:28, Reply)

Sounds like
Good news. How is your lovely Doris?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:44, Reply)

In the fucking kitchen where she belongs.
*1970's lols*
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:47, Reply)

Oi! Get the chips on bitch.
They LOVE it.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:49, Reply)

"I'm just putting the dinner on" quipped my wife, as she poured a pan of chips over head.
Oh, how we laughed on the way to the burns unit.
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:50, Reply)

And with that I'm going to have to go and get some baccy.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:52, Reply)

hey Jeff, how goes?

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:21, Reply)

It's no good, I think he's stuck in a tunnel, CQ.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:36, Reply)

Sorry. I needed a piss.
So I've popped in to the pub. Well, it was close to the bus stop.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:43, Reply)

I'd have probably done the same, tbh.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:43, Reply)

It's bad form
To use the facilities without stopping for a swift one.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:46, Reply)

I have to agree.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:47, Reply)

seems so.
are you liking the work dav?
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:43, Reply)

It's not the most taxing job I've ever had
but it's busy, so no time to get bored. Plus, my workload's still a bit limited variety-wise as I'm still being shown the ropes; eventually there should be a fair mix of work to do so it'll stop the repetition to a degree.
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:46, Reply)

Sounds OK
Glad it's working out for you.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:03, Reply)

*unzips*
behold the glory and feel awed.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:40, Reply)

*gets magnifying glass*
Aaaaawwwwwwwww.
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:41, Reply)

gets magnifying glass phones nasa to get a lend of hubble
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:42, Reply)

+ a very small and slightly broken hubble.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:47, Reply)

:'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:51, Reply)

Forum banter, etc.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:52, Reply)

                                   /\_/\
                              ____/ o o \
                            /~____  =ø= /    --- you made me do a sad 
                           (______)__m_m)

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:59, Reply)

Is that a cat that's just eaten some lemon?

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:02, Reply)

      9                                                 \          /
    9  9                                               |  \      /  |
      9 9             ! !!  ! !  !  ! !                |   \____/   |
       99          ;;;    ;;    ;  ;  ;; ;            /              \
        99      ;;;                       ;!        /                 \
         *   ;!;                            ' ~~~~'      (|)    (|)    ;
          * ;                                                ..         :
         ;                                                _ v~~v _      :
        :                                                -_      _-    :
        ;                                                   ^--^     ,
         ;                ; ;; ;; ;                 ;''..,         ,'
         ;             ; ;          ;;             ;        `'`'`'
          ;          /                  ;         :
           ;       /                      ;       ;
            ;     :                        ;     ;
            :    :                          ;    ;
           ;    :                            ;   :
           :   ;                              ;  :
           :   ;                              ;  :
            ;  ;                              ;  ;
            ;  ;                              ;  ;
             ;  ;                             :   :
              \\\                              ~\\\

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:06, Reply)

That cat is angry that someone put lemon on its food.

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:07, Reply)

                               /\
                               \ \
                                \ \
                                / /
                               / /
                              _\ \_/\/\
                             /  *  \@@ =
                            |       |Y/   ---- kiss it homo
                            |       |~
                             \ /_\ /
                              \\ //
                               |||
                              _|||_
                             ( / \ )

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:11, Reply)

Stick a penny in its throat and throw it out the window.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:26, Reply)

I'm awesome, innit.
I add a touch of style and glamour to any situation.

And everybody loves me.
And if you don't let me stay, I'll cry.
( b3th You're gonna need a bigger mod, Wed 9 May 2012, 20:42, Reply)

Are they no alternatives? Balloons are shit.

( SteveFrench What's it all aboot eh?, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:03, Reply)

LEVEL UP!
cut guinea pigs' claws, didn't get scratched. win
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:14, Reply)

just get them de-clawed

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:17, Reply)

Not sure I could if I wanted to
at least this way they know who's in charge
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:18, Reply)

chop their fucking paws off and they'll sure know who the boss is.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:22, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:25, Reply)

                              ,   ,        
                              \  |  \ / / / /
                              / o   ,)       \
I laugh at you LOL -----     C      /     /  \
                              \_         (  /
                               mm --- mooo-

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:27, Reply)

oh man, I thought you were original
but you totally googled for that
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:29, Reply)

nope, not many ways to ascci a guinea pig tho :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:30, Reply)

 
   .\\Y\\\\Y\\Y\\\\\.
 .\\\Y\X\Y\\\X\\'_ _)
,\\\\\\\\\XY\\\' ' '_
X\\X\\\Y\\\\X\___ ,__@ ---- hedgehogs are guinea pigs with gel in 
 ''\(,,,)\Y\\(,,,)--'       their hair. LOL

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:34, Reply)

really?
www.retrojunkie.com/asciiart/animals/guineapg.htm

I only say because I used it in a work email the other day
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)

ohh I likes this site!
not seen this one before.

www.chris.com/ascii/
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:40, Reply)

hiya Mumps

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:36, Reply)

evening comrade, alright?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:37, Reply)

What happened?
Did the balloon go down?
( tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:52, Reply)

nothing ever goes down round here

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:55, Reply)

all that pandering...... for nothing :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:57, Reply)

I'm a great chef, good with PCs, and I'm mainly quite a nice guy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 May 2012, 21:55, Reply)

evening all
I had to return to Birmingham as I forgot to leave money in my old flat for the cleaner to do the final clean. Managed to miss the earlier train so had more beer and caught the next one.I have phone videos and beer to keep me entertained, fortunately.
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:27, Reply)

I OWN the fucking balloon.
Balloons are my REMIT.
*Pushes you out*
( stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:48, Reply)

i am an expert at landing balloons

( Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Wed 9 May 2012, 23:01, Reply)