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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 792, 791, 790, 789, 788, ... 1

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When did you last cry?
menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1493505_crying-manchester-city-fan-claims-his-mind-game-tv-tears-inspired-title-turnaround

This twat needs killing, if indeed he "exists", and isn't an invention of some football nonsense.

I honestly can't remember, funeral probably.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)
When Rory Lyon got BANNED4LYF

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
I admit,
a manly tear nearly escaped my eyes. Nearly.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)
What a load of bollocks.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
"I TOTALLY WASN'TY CRYING LIKE A MASSIVE FANNY, I WAS DOING SYKOLLERGEE."
What a total fucking arsewipe of a human.

I am told I cried at my wedding but I totally didn't. I just welled up is all.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Could you feel your freedom being bled away buy the evil sucubus?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
If you mean could I feel my life being totally and utterly cmpleted then yes.
M'lud.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I heard you blubbed like a 14 year old girl who had just been told that Twilight wasn't real.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:56, Reply)
Yeah? YEAH?
Yeah.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)
MOST POPULAR NEWS STORY!!!!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-18032672
people press wrong button on the internet but it's all ok in the end.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
I guess you could say...
*sideways glance to co-presenter*
The Jura's out on this one
AHAHAHAHAHAAAA
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)
*puts on aviators and walks away from the camera*

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Right you.
To say sorry for this shit-awful post, you need to

a) come to mine and Stunned's bash in September and
b) play some records

You've plenty of notice, don't be a queer.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:01, Reply)
I've only just gone and fackin' signed up for it, ain't I!!
And when I get in tonight, I'm going to stride manfully up to the wife, stare her straight in the face and say "Listen love, I'm going to meet some strangers off of the internet in September. I don't care what you say!"
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)
That'll be you saying how great it's going to be all year
before suddenly being unavailable at the last minute, then.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)
BUT IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!!!
This is always a possibility
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)
He'll get diabetes at the last minute.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Damn that diabetes
always fucking sneaking up on you.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Also, what are you on about?
This post was excellent.
Nick Owen* would be proud of that one.


*Insert regional news reader of your choice
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)
The best bit of the story I think is
"Unfortunately when they looked out at the whirlpool from the land it was flat calm."
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)
OMG I JUST GOT MY FIRST JOB OFFER AT A JOB I REALLY REALLY LIKE OMG OMG

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:58, Reply)
OMG THAT'S AMAZING GONZ THAT'S SO INCREDIBLE WHAT IS THE JOB AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CELBRATE TONIGHT? ARE YOU GOING TO GET FOOD? WHAT FOOD ARE YOU GETTING? I JUST ATE A PACKET OF BOURBONS!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:59, Reply)
I ATE THREE PACKS OF SAINSBURY'S WOTSIT-EFFECT CRISPS!!!!!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)
OMG MONTY THAT'S YOUR FOOD SUPPLIES FOR THE WHOLE WEEK NOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH AND LUSTY WILL HAVE TO SELL HERSELF ON THE STREETS

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I know! What was I thinking!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)
If it helps, I would totes date lusty. I bet she is just swell at waking up with.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I donno !!! I'm off to another interview now but i think it's too far but am trying it anyway cus the company is ace too.
I would be typing this in caps but I'm on my phone. I might source me some sushi if I can.

OH BOY !
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Do you get free candy floss?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:59, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Yeah yeah so what - I've just put A L0LB45H in the calendar!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:59, Reply)
Ooh ooh ooh, can I attend?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)
If you don't, I will cry.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Awwww.
OK then. Will there be massive drugs, and obscure music?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:09, Reply)
In vast abundance.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)
*Franticaslly masturbates into an envelope*
And goes for lunch.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Nah, fuck that.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Yeah I'm not going either - looks well shit.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Did you go to the last one.
I've seen retirement villages with more action in them.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:12, Reply)
To be fair
whenever I break into retirement villages I always get plenty of action.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Well, you're pretty close to the demographic.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:16, Reply)
How do you think I keep getting away with it?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)
"Back to your own room now Mr Boyce"

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Yeah, see the thing is Monty I'm running a half Marathon on the Sunday down in Bristol
so that date isn't going to work for me. Plus you're a horrendous gobshite when you're on drugs.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)
That HURTS, Al.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Yeah, it's not the fault of the drugs.
Poor drugs :(
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)
They can't defend themselves.
That's why Al is BULLYING them as per usual.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I am too a horrendous gobshite when caning the powders, and, really, am without.
I shall be here, so you're welcome to be annoyed by both of us.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:11, Reply)
I might also be running a half marathon with Al in Bristol on the Sunday.
So unless the drugs are performance enhancing I am OUT.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Oh they are.
Ask your mum.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)
She did run the 100m in a suspiciously fast time recently.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)
*taps nose*

*picks nose up off floor and reattaches*
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)
/birdoffEastendersLOLZ

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)
OH BOY! Have you signed up yet?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)
Nope!
I did say 'might'!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
"maybe"

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:10, Reply)

I start teaching on the Monday I think so doubt I'll be attending. PAR FOR THE COURSE INNIT.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)
NEEDS MOAR DIABETES.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)

IN LONDON IN JULY THOUGH. WILL BRING DIABETES.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)
YOU'D BETTER.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)
always some excuse...

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)

BAZINGA
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
But it's in London!
London is a shithole filled with unutterable cunts.
Consider me Miss Otis.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
You mean you'll be in Reading?
I'm confused.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Oh very good.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
It's a music reference
that only cool people and old people will get.

You are obviously neither.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Miss Otis..
regrets she's unable to lunch today.

Kirsty McColl, innit.

Phuckin' boats.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
I am also running a half-marathon so I'm out too,
oh sadface.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Gaywad.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)
House porn
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-34225258.html
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
I'll need to find 3 people to live with me though.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
I like the way they've shoved a couple of shit trees in front of the houses to pretty them up a bit.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:22, Reply)
They're saplings they're only a few years old, shut up.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
tree paedo

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:33, Reply)
traedo

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:36, Reply)
That is the 60+ saggy old GILF of house porn.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Look at the price and cry.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Look at the picture and laugh.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)
This is where they are,
it's nicer than it looks g.co/maps/67tgh
but that said looks like that house isn't on the market anymore the cunts.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Enterprise Lane, eh?
Maybe Kroney will move in with you.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)
That's part of the draw to be honest.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)
I could get Kroney Wormulus and another trekky
and we could name each room after parts of the ship. My room will be torpedo bay 1
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)
OH MAN THAT SOUNDS BRILLIANT!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:32, Reply)
The kitchen would be called 10 forward
and the oven will be called a replicator.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Surely that should be the bathroom?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:33, Reply)
"launching torpedo in 5...4...3..." etc

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:33, Reply)
That's a good point.
My room could be the holodeck.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)
You could have a laundry room
with like an iron etc and a voice-activated sewing machine where you go up to it and say.....

MAKE IT SEW!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:41, Reply)
It is suspiciou show much you know about star trek Monty.
It's almost as if ... YOU LIKE IT!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:42, Reply)
I was making Star Wars jokes earlier as well.
I'm a right fucking hypocrite, me.

Most nights I sit around my flat dressed as a zombie, watching 'Red Dwarf' and 'rocking out' to 'Maiden'.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:44, Reply)

I got my new "deluxe" edition of The Last In Line yesterday, I listened to it this morning. I still love a bit of RJD.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:49, Reply)
aka 'the Battered of Metal'?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Jesus fucking wept.
It's the lymphatic cancer of housing.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
My mate lives on that street, they're actually nice, those photos are shit though.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)
That looks absolutely fucking hideous
it is however fucking cheap so just live there by yourself
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I would just about be able to afford it and council tax
with no left over money for food electricity water and the like.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)
povvololz

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:08, Reply)
fuck, that's cheap

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)
More proof that MK is a shithole

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
1150p/m for 4 bedrooms?
fuuuuuuuuuuck
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
INORITE!!
i get half that, for more money!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I cry when I see the cuty wooty ickle puppies on da internerts
and when people are so well mean on here :'(

you bunch of shuddering shitwanks.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)
When I got my last bank statement lol

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:43, Reply)
are you a peniless tramp?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:44, Reply)
When he says 'bank statement'
he means 'hat on the ground with pennies in it'
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)
+s

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:47, Reply)
When I died after eating a sandwich, and after ruining my gravestone, and Monty danced on my grave, that was a bit sad.
What really upset me was everyone else befouling the orchestra at the wake.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Hahahaha actual LOL here

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:47, Reply)
That tuba player wasn't laughing.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Wa wa waaaaaaaaaaaa

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Just booked a bass lesson for next week. I reckon I'll be an expert by Christmas.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:49, Reply)
I reckon you're gonna need a bigger strap to get it round your belly.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:50, Reply)

How you're still here and we lose a soldier like Rory is fucking bent.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
I really do love just how angry and upset you get with me.
I wonder how you would react if something really bad happened, like if you couldn't get a tin of baked beans open. I reckon you might have some sort of aneurysm.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)

YES HULK MAD GRRRRRRRRR...... you don't make me angry Al. I just don't like you.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Why not? What has Al ever done to you?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Hang on I'll write a list for you shall I?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Did I wrong you in another life Will Scarlet?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
WHAT A FUCKING EXCELLENT FILM!!!!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)
I'm glad someone got this.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:11, Reply)
yeah do it

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Janet Jacksonzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Bazongaloid Superfly with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! doesn't know why Andrew hates him

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Yes he does.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)
Sorry I've only just noticed this, no I really don't. If you would like to enlighten me I might even say sorry.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Hang on, it's because I wouldn't be your friend on facebook isnt' it?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Did you see that bloke who painted a Ferrari on his garage door?

Not only is he a twat, but why has no news source pointed out the fact that it's shit. It's bloody wonky.

I'm not saying I could do better, but I am saying that if I couldn't do better, i wouldn't fucking do it at all.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-18001779
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:49, Reply)
He's disgraced the whole of Hampshire with that bunch of toss.
And that's my job.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Southamton and Portsmouth disgrace hampshire

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)
cf Basingstoke

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
That's the kind of place Chompy aspires to live

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Amazingstoke more like.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
proof!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)
No, that's Darth.
...oh...
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I hope it gets egged.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
He might have tidied up his imaginary garage a bit.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
Rusty roof....

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
i only cry with rage
so sunday/monday morning, during another pointless drunken argument with the ex. he's the only person i argue with; otherwise it's pretty much impossible to fall out with me.

alt: i was amazed to learn that most germans rent rather than buying their homes. who here owns/rents?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)
True of Italians too.
(owns, by skin of teeth)
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Know what, I'm gonna help you out. If the unthinkable does happen and the bank sends you a repossesion notice
I'll pop out to Sainsburies and get you some more boxes
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I do both
Buying is a british thing and the rental market isn't as regulated as in Europe.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)
You're bisexual?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)
No, he just has a beard.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)
an anal beard

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)
i guess the general perception here is that people who rent can't afford to buy? not saying that's right, just that seems to be the attitude.
i guess it is dead money when you think about it. you've been paying off someone else's mortgage for years.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
They have better long term contracts on the continent.
And you can do things to places you are renting and stuff.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:55, Reply)
Mine's leasehold so technically that's all I'm doing really.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:57, Reply)
as long as the lease is long enough it's not so bad
leasehold is a fucking cheek though
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
it's kind of hard to see what else you can do though - you can't have a freehold flat, and commonhold never took off
the best way is to buy somewhere that has a share of freehold and hope your co-owners aren't cunts. my landlord is the queen, so everything is immaculate - but the cunting service charge is 10,000 a year.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)
O_O
10k, what the fuck do you get back for that kind of money? how many flats are there?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
we have 24 hour porters
and gardeners etc. it's also one of those mansion blocks, so they're always doing something to it, to upgrade it. last year it was electric gates. this year it's sky tv for all the flats.

not sure how many flats. there's about 5 blocks in total, going down the street, and lizzie owns the lot.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)
So we are talking about hundreds of thousands of pounds a year in service charges
i want to be able to demand blowjobs from the 24hr porter
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)
yeeeeeeah
the one in my block is an alcoholic bald dude. you go for him. i don't mind.

the bulk of the money will be in lease extensions. eg mine was the thick end of 50k, and i had over 80 years left.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
What did it extend to?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:11, Reply)
well, normally you get 90 years as a statutory right (leasehold reform and urban development act 1993)
but the statute doesn't bind certain entities, and the crown is one of them. however, the crown has volunteered to abide by it where possible.

in my case, the crown wants all the flats on the same length leases. therefore they were only prepared to grant me another 57 years. i was happy with that, since it saved me a few more thousand on the full 90 years, but 137 years is plenty long enough to boost the value of the flat.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Right, so bare with me here as I've never even considered buying leasehold so I know nothing about it,
but let's say I'm looking at a flat and it currently has a lease of 90 years. So I buy it, pay off my mortgage, but then your saying that because it took me 25 years to do that and my lease is only for 65 years that my flat would now be worth less because of the shorter lease period, and to extend that lease I have to pay thousands of pounds more?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)
This is how I undderstand it
it's madness i tell you
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Yes. How shit is that?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
So who is that owns the lease?
And why can't you just buy the flat off them instead of leasing it?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
whoever the landlord is
could be the people in the block collectively. could be the builder. could be the queen. could be an investor.

you can't own the freehold of a flat independently of the rest of the block. the structure, roof, common parts etc are owned by the landlord, who then leases the live-able bits.

what you CAN do is get together with the other residents and force the landlord to sell to you, provided enough people want to do it. then you can grant yourself a new 999 year lease at a peppercorn premium!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)
I don't really understand why you can't.
Sounds like a massive con to me. Why can't leases be made really long, like 500 years or something?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)
they can
you can agree whatever you want. but you can only force the landlord into another 90. as a VERY rough rule of thumb, you only see short-term leases like these in london. the rest of the country tend to be on 999 year leases, or even 2,000 year leases, so of course it's academic.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)
that's exactly right
you are renting, like any other tenancy, but on a longer term and at a low rent to reflect the fact that a premium was paid for the grant of the lease at the beginning.

i have a second floor flat. effectively i have the right to use the space between the floor and the ceiling for the next 137 years. except that the landlord made damn sure to demise the ceiling to me, since plaster is expensive!

it's a simplistic view. it gets factored into the purchase price, eg which is why share of freehold is more attractive. and for a second eg, ideally you will extend at about 85 years so that it's much cheaper.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Sounds like it doesn't work though
since flats are all you can buy in central london, the prices of them aren't very attractive.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)
i think it's widely recognised that it's not ideal
but there is no way to change it.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Au contrair swipey
there is always a way to change it, there is simply no inclination to change it.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)
oh well, fair enough
it gives me a lot of work though. landlord and tenant disputes are meat and drink to me.

dullest letter ever: "i act for your landlord. stop hanging your dirty sports socks out on the balcony. it breaches the nuisance clause in your lease."
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Actually it's only 67 years.
Not good at all.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
you do need to get that extended at some point, as doubtless you well know
not a problem for you, but it will mean that you'll struggle to sell, as any purchaser wouldn't be able to get a mortgage on that. mind you, there are agencies that specialise in hooking up cash buyers with shorter term leases.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Not sure where the old tramp will find the cash to buy a lease extention though

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
*looks down back of sofa*

*sells sofa*
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:08, Reply)
I do indeed know
but it looks like being 25k odd to sort it: not something currently possible for me, as you'd imagine.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
No probs, you have 67 years to save up

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
So, if he doesn't extend the lease, what happens?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)
it reverts to the landlord
like any lease
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
I believe the ownership of the property is transfered to the lease holder
which feels criminal really
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Jesting aside
that's kind of my plan. Assuming I can hang on here*, I will have no mortgage by my early 50s and will borrow the money to add 99 years or whatever then.

*BIG assumption
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:11, Reply)
if you are happy in the same place until then, that's not a bad plan at all

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)
I could do with another bedroom but am resigned to being there for the forseeable,
at the very best.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:17, Reply)
You could get one of those posters of a cat hanging from a washing line and it says "hang on in there" underneath

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Replace the TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER one?
Never!
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)
MonaLisasmokingjointlolz

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)
I had you down as a "packet of marijuana cigarettes poster" man
or that tennis bird scratching her arse.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
you'd be paying all 3 bits of the statutory equation
which is based on the market value of the flat. plus you have to pay the landlord's legal costs.

it does suck. the only thing is that it is usually reflected in the purchase price by the time you get below 80 years. eg i saw a stunning flat in south ken when i was looking; it was only 500k for a 3 bed top floor flat with a terrace. i sniffed a rat. a giant stinking sewer rat. sure enough, foxtons admitted sheepishly it had 7 years left on the term. valuer estimated cost of extending for another 90 years to be 1,500,000. so basically... a 2M flat.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)
For the porridge wogs amongst us...
..speak English woman.

What is this fucking lunacy?

Up here, you either buy a house and it's yours forever, or you rent. It's not fucking difficult.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:19, Reply)
technically, the queen could still take it off you, jock

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)
It sounds like a load of old bollocks to me
I hope she carks it soon, for your sake.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)
assuming a stable or growing housing market your mortgage "payments" aren't payments at all
rather a change from cash wealth to asset wealth, rent is just money being poured away.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)
generally i think those who would defend renting permanently in this country
would either have swung something amazing like a rent act tenancy, or have a severe case of denial. but maybe i've been brainwashed by the property ladder media.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Or are illegally in a housing association place and paying fucking peanuts

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
rent act tenancies were murder for landlords
i have some that i am dealing with at the moment, and it's a total bitch. eg i have one dude paying 400 a month for a 3 storey townhouse in notting hill. and it's hereditary, so when he carks it, a relative could stay for the next god knows how long.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
If rents were controlled so that by renting you would definitely be paying less than a mortgage
then there would be an option, but the way it currently works you're a mug if you rent, but also, you probably won't ever be able to afford a mortgage of your own.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
they used to be
it meant that there was no money in being a landlord, so people either resorted to very dodgy tactics or didn't put any rental property on the market. i mean, why would you pay all that money on a mortgage, only to be stuck with a tenant's rent covering a fraction of it? there's no incentive.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
I'm not going to pretend to have thought about it enough
but there must be a compromise available somehow or it wouldn't work in other countries. There aren't enough houses being built full stop, which is only increasing the pressure on prices.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
new houses are inevitably shit
Did you see that program outlining how small their rooms often are and how tiny the windows are to help meet engergy efficiency targets?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
It depresses me when I go and visit new developments as part of my job and you see just how crap the new build properties are.
And then you go round the corner to where they've built the housing association plots and it's even worse.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:15, Reply)
And wwhy aren't they built in a modern style from more modern materials
instead of relatively traditional bricks and mortar, 2 up 2 down etc etc
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:19, Reply)
BOR-RING

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Because you are a bent spastic.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)
My negative influence on 21st centuary architecture is well documented

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)
BORRING

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)
BORRING

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Because there is nothing wrong with bricks and mortar.
They are cheap and strong and can easily be made insulated to give you a toasty warm home.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)
I know that, but i want houses made of zinc and titanium with catalvered roofs and towers

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Actually, what do you do for a living?
aside from digging holes
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)
I'm hardly likely to tell you that am I.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Why not? You don't have to be specific
I'm guessing you are a surveyor of some sort
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Nah, elephant dung removal experts

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

oh
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Yeah, it can be damned hazardous.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)
it used to work, house prices got out of hand and rents didn't
when i was 18, i bought a 1 bed flat in didsbury as an investment. i paid 42,000 and the mortgage was about 312 a month. my rental income was 560. profit.

5 years later, i sold it to pay for my law degree. i sold it for 101,500. marvellous for me. but priced it totally out of the rental market for anyone who needed a mortgage, as the rents had stayed totally static.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
The house I rented before I bought my own 12 years ago
is now back up for rent at 40% higher than it was when I rented it.
In the meantime my monthly mortgage repayments, which started off about 12% lower than the rent I was paying have now dropped to less than half what it would cost to rent that house today.
I think buying was the right option for me.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
i think it is for everyone in the uk

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Well, I'm thinking I might have to go into shared accommodation for a while to get my deposit sorted out.
From a house to a flat to a shared house.

I'm doing it wrong.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)
+ in Slough

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)
I won't be sharing in Slough.
Fuck THAT.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Chompy is looking for a flatmate

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)
"Basingstoke woman traumatised by frozen turd rape"

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:45, Reply)
lols

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I live under a bridge.
you might say I'm a troll
LOL
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)
LOL

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
I used to own, have switched to renting
for a while, anyway.

More flexible, innit.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Always owned, never rented
Mortgage paid in 12 years! Woop
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Dead from heart attack in 13

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)
After a year of expensive wines and food, aye

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:58, Reply)
I just got £65K from my house sale
I shall be looking for a 3 bedroom flat with a terrace in Kensington with that, obviously.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:20, Reply)
I HAVE NEVER CRIED I AM A MAN

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)
That's the spirit.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
:'(

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:08, Reply)
chins up

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)
More bad house porn.
www.taylorsestateagents.co.uk/rent/property/studio-apartment-in-mk14-for-gbp-450-pcm-ref-1796788/
450 a month with bills included, which would be a great way to save money, but could I cope with a studio for 6months or so.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)
wow it's so nice they haven't even taken a photo of the inside
the brick driveway and dormer window mean it sells itself
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I'm fully expecting it to be pretty shit.
But it's walking distance from work and fucking cheap. I'm not buying it or moving a family in, it would just be a crash pad for 6 months until I had a decent deposit.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:33, Reply)
Do it
Buying is the way to go
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)
*clicks on link*

Oh, HOUSE porn. Gutted.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:39, Reply)
How would you like to be living in a place for £450 a month right about now eh Monty?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I think he'd prefer the horse

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)
No thanks.
As with payrises, any savings I might make would all be pinched by my creditors.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:03, Reply)
Wouldn't that pay off your debts quicker?
Or is this they'll bleed you dry for x amount of years then give up so it doesn't matter to you?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)
5 years fixed.
On the plus side it means my lack of pay increases no longer bothers me at all.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:08, Reply)
Could you not fiddle it so your pay goes down
but your expenses go through the roof?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:21, Reply)
This is more your thing:
tinyurl.com/bjudsd
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)
*sings along*
Best of all the animals
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:44, Reply)
I could fucking kick off at the bus driver I'm on.
I asked him if this is the quickest way to my stop, he said its the most direct route, and I've now been on this bus for 40 minutes. I've looked up some other routes now and instead if there being 50 stops (the 156 btw), there are other ones that are only 5 or so. Fucking cunt, if someone asks if it's a quick route, 40 plus minutes should be warned.

And I just had 6 calls in a row from a single recruiter that I declined the call until eventually I told her that I can't speak. Fucking rude

I really feel like I could kick off now.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Are you on your way to an interview?

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Yeah, I've phoned ahead to let them know.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:39, Reply)
kick the driver instead

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)
Recruiters always keep calling. They are cunts.
Don't feel bad about giving them shit, they are making money out of you after all.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:41, Reply)
this is why buses are shit, you should have driven or taken the train

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:44, Reply)
It was only supposed to be the last 10 mins of a bus journey. =/

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)
Good luck!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Smear yourself in your own shit
and refuse to get off the bus.

SORTED.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:04, Reply)
A winning pre-interview technique in my experience

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:06, Reply)
Worked for me!

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:07, Reply)
You cunts should post in my thread it'll make you thinner.

(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)

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