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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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This is pretty interesting; how is the internet following you?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_f5wNw-2c0
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:08, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Yeah everyone can watch youtube during the day at work... douchebag.
I'm annoyed at myself today Nakkers. I'm listening to Ben Howard and really liking it.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Well I can watch youtube as my employer isn't a massive arse, like you
Ben Howard's ok, there are worse things you could be listenintg to
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:14, Reply)

Mate I'm a student I don't give a shit what you do. Just getting in there before some other cunt innit. Moved on to Cage the Elephant now. I will start revising at some point today.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:18, Reply)
What are you studying?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:22, Reply)

You do know I'm Bobby? Training to be a nonce like Scaryduck innit.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:24, Reply)
oh yeah, I forget who is who these days

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:26, Reply)
You are the bent spastic one
Hope this helps
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:28, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:29, Reply)
thanks awfully

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Someone should start a less shit thread

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I follow OT in the hope that I will hear that you have killed yourself.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:13, Reply)
Good golly, everyone is so MEAN today.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:14, Reply)
in this case it's known as "short man complex"

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:15, Reply)
Shut it, you pox-ridden spacker.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:17, Reply)
I know I shouldn't have let your mum rim me as she as was "unclean", but she's just so darned good at it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:18, Reply)
It was AA's dead mum and the maggots rippling out of her corpse that tickled your ringpiece.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:20, Reply)
that's not the mental image I wanted when I was off to bed.
urgh.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:22, Reply)
*cock gazzes*

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:23, Reply)
that won't get rippling maggots out of her head, though

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Not with a cock that small.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:39, Reply)
Is there any fucking need for that?
Haha
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)
battered has turned into a right arsehole, wouldn't you agree?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:49, Reply)

what do you mean turned into?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
It's good isn't it?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:16, Reply)
This is a good thread.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:34, Reply)
It truely is
what shall i make as a starter for people on Wednesday? We're having beef bourguignon
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Scallops with a bit of pancetta
and some rocket. Possibly parmesan shavings
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:44, Reply)
A Big Mac.
Can't go wrong.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Something light. Garlic & chilli prawns on a bed of leaves?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:44, Reply)
Also good
Maybe a soup?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)

milkyway on a bed of quavers?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Student^
Pot Noodle for dessert?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:46, Reply)

I don't like pot noodles. Super noodles are far superior. I live on shreddies, wraps (that I make) and ribena.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Ribena is for twats.
And this is official.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)
YM's clunge in a puddle of blood?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)
I think a lighter starter would be better TBH
I'M JOKING THAT BOBBY'S MUM IS ALSO FAT
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Possibly a little oriental, but light is right
i was actually thinking vegetarian as well, maybe asparagus, they've just come into season like your mum
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
My piss smells funny after her too

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Grilled asparagus wrapped in Parma Ham with a vinegarette is nice

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I do think asparagus is the answer and will do something like this
or maybe I'll give them a parmesan breadcrumb crust or make hollandaise sauce
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:57, Reply)
fuck asparagus
it's so.... bland. i'm always really disappointed when it's asparagus. great, a plate full of giant green stalks. although i didn't get the stinky piss thing, as it doesn't happen to me, but everyone was complaining at the last wedding i went to, because the toilets reeeeeeeeked after the asparagus starter.

can't you do mini prawn and monkfish or haloumi and pepper kebabs skewers or something?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:14, Reply)
I dunno, main course is quite earthy, these feel to far removed from that
you've clearly never had good asparagus
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:18, Reply)
of course i have
back in the 90's when it was fashionable. you can do better. even oven roasted or fried courgettes with feta and lemon juice would be better!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:20, Reply)
asparagus wrapped in crispy pancetta served with a soft bolied egg for dipping is a thing of beauty
for extr nom, add butter and a dash of cider vinegar to the egg
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:21, Reply)
that sounds fucking disgusting
slightly crunchy vegetable (texture 1) in salty crispy fat (texture 2) with wet runny egg (texture 3)?

oh nakers. i've never joined in the bent spastic approach. don't make me start now...
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:23, Reply)
you have no idea how wrong you are, but that's because of your vegetarian leanings

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Agreeing with Nakers right now on the internet

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)
you two are as bad as each other
anyway in answer to his original dilemma, he should fry some mini goats cheeses in breadcrumbs and serve with some kind of chutney or chilli jam or whatever he likes to smear all over his granny's nipples and make his dog lick off.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)
great idea except mrs ape hates goats cheese

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:32, Reply)
you married a freak
i don't know what else to say
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Goats cheese is often quite disliked actually
but you are correct
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I've found a little goes a long way
It can be quite overwhelming unless paired with other strong flavours.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:53, Reply)
It is likely that your piss does smell after eating it
and that you lack the gene required to be able to detect it.
Hope this helps.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:25, Reply)
SHE HAS NO NOSE!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)
that's contrary to what i read
which says that it is a particular protein that some people's bodies do not make.

if your hypothesis were true, i wouldn't be able to smell other people's stinking disgusting asparagus piss, now, would i? this would be a good thing, admittedly.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Hmm... inconclusive
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asparagus#Effects_on_urine
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Aspagous with boiled duck eggs to dip them in.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:31, Reply)
KFC

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Wine

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:47, Reply)
I'm not trying to get my guests back to a travel taven

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
if they've got to listen to you talking about the organic butchers you got your beef from and the heratige of your oak flooring
then at least let them get pissed up before.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
How many are coming?
If there's up to 5, chilli prawns is a good idea.
5 or more, chicken soup or something like that works well.
If there's 10, ask Bamber Gascoigne.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
I doubt he's got 5 friends.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)
I don't know who bamber gascoigne is, i assume he is paul's dad
6 people in total soup plus stew is probably too wet
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Like your Mum.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)
that'll be her arse leaking into her clunge
she just doesn't have the sphincter control she used too
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Turn her over

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)
pass me ma turning oar boy

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Used to present University Challenge
Ahh, fair enough.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)
So you've only got 4 friends?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Actually I have 7, but these 4 were free*


*1 actually, the others are my wife's friends :(
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Maybe you'd have more friends if you weren't such a bent spastic.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:13, Reply)
I'll add to my list of new years resolutions

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Hmm
- Scallops on black pudding.
- A salad containing pears, walnuts and blue cheese - with verious leaves.
- Individual rounded tarts containing tomarto , basil and a nice cheese.
- Lobster raviloi
- Dim Sum
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Scallop and black pudding goyza with a teryaki dip would be really impressive, and you can prepair most of it the next day...
... you just get some goyza pastry, chop up the scallops and black pudding and mix up, stuff the pastry and seal with some egg yolk. Maybe add some chives to it too.

Then on the day, you fry them in a bit of oil in a sauce-pan for about 30 seconds, with the pan as hot as you can get it, so you get a cripsy bottom, then pour in a glass of water and put a lid on for 2 minuites.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I have a recipe for tomato, basil and pancetta tarts
that is so fucking good, maybe I'll make them, they are quite filling though
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:37, Reply)
Make a bigger one and serve slices with a salad

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:48, Reply)

Scaryduck, Scaryduck, Scaryduck. I've seen Candyman I know how to summon something that put's the fear of God into children.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:35, Reply)
POTD

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Got Brasserie Blanc for lunch.
Are they any good?

I might have the ScaryDuck.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:48, Reply)
They are pretty good, well the one in MK is.
If they're doing the pork chops have that, they're awesome.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Thanks.
You can't beat pork in your mouth etc.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:50, Reply)
They do one of those massive steaks for two people as well.
Get one of those for yourself.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Chateaubriande, dear boy. Bless you!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:54, Reply)
I've never had it.
FOREVER ALONE!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:07, Reply)
You aren't thinking this through
That means more steak for you
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:08, Reply)
I've pondered ordering it
Seeing how far I can get and then asking for a doggie bag.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:15, Reply)
A pub next to where my parents lived did 32oz steaks
NOM
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:24, Reply)
I would rather have a decent small staeak than a massive one just for the sake of it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:27, Reply)
This was at the start of a marathon beer session
They were actually very nice though I'd normally agree

Nicest steak I've had was in a bistro in Newcastle which was smoked salt rubbed. Only about 6oz or so
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:28, Reply)
I also disagree with fillet steak, it lacks flavour

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:30, Reply)
I just like meat

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)
+two veg

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
*insert battered sausage gag here*

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:04, Reply)
He can't reach

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:04, Reply)
Not been to one. No idea.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Will report back then.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 12:56, Reply)
OH FOR GOD'S SAKE.
Stop pulling his ponytails and man the fuck up.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:26, Reply)
eh? i don't think anyone is suggesting we form some sort of "posse" and go round his house...

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Upping the vigil-ante

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:29, Reply)

I want Rory back.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:51, Reply)
To be fair, linking to someone's personal identity that is connected to their buisness, linking that with calling them a pedophile, pretty much deserves a naughty step.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
To be fair, it was Quentin who did that.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Oh, ok, I wasn't about.
I'm sure Rory is off having a gosh darn swell time without our dang-nabit dramas.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Nothing on here deserves the naughty step. No one actually gives a shit do they?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Bollocks, I very much give a shit about my real life, as you do about yours.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)
The thing is Bob, b3ta's searchable by Google
so enough posts referencing Scaryduck's handle, job and calling him a paedo and they're going to start popping up on Google searches when people are looking for somebody that does what he does.

If I started posting your name, your job and calling you a paedo and you started noticing it coming up on Google searches, you'd stop finding it funny pretty fucking rapidly.

Serious post is serious etc.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Someone i know always updates her status on facebook, with beakering about how wonderful/shit her life/baby is,
today she is "under the weather and feeling guilty for not playing with baby :("

Can i suggest that she has AIDs?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Spakkers, hate to break this to you but no one gives a fuck about you on here, let alone your imaginary friends.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:52, Reply)
While I appreciate the sentiment you pendulous pouch of lard do feel free to fuck off back to failing your PGCE

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:56, Reply)

B-ed Primary with QTS actually. PGCE's are for fuckers who can't get a job with their other degree.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Bed Primary? You fucking nonce!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I PUT A HYPHEN IN!!!
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)

that seems to have made it seedier...
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
You broke the hymen by making it seedier?

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:59, Reply)

It's like trying to talk to Frank Skinner.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)
STOP STICKING YOUR HYPHEN IN PRIMARY SCHOOL CHILDREN!!!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
While B-eds are for people who didn't even try to get a real job.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I had a real job and decided working with people like you was fucking horrific and spending all day with 4 year olds is infinitely more appealing.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Hey Spskkers! noticed how no ones giving a fuck still?
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 13:58, Reply)
You're right of course, they are too busy belittling you for being such a monumental failure
that you are reduced to teaching small children their ABCs because it's all your fat addled brain can cope with.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)

Awwww is someone getting upset. Thing is Spakkers I love teaching. It's rewarding and fun and I don't give a shit about the money as that is something I don't have to worry about. Plus being a bloke in the foundation phase means I'll be fast tracked to buggery.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I have only been mildly upset online once, it was long time ago and it was caused by someone far more skilled in being irritating online than you
If you want to teach 4 year olds to count, paint and wipe their arses year in year out, for fuck all money then that is up to you, i couldn't give a shit, but teaching is for those people who like to nonce kids or can't do anything else
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Wrong again, TA's deal with accidents. Like I said money is no issue. If you really think teaching has no value then you're more of a spastic than I initially thought? What you do is obviously not important as you mince around on here all day.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I never said teaching had no value, some poor cunt's got to do it
i also never said what i do is in any way important, very few jobs are. Do try and read posts properly, you'll need to be able to read to teach others really
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)

I tend to skim over yours to avoid loss of brain cells. And pot kettle there too Spakkers.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)
Skim away, but don't read too fast or you'll get out of breath "Wotsit cock"
ALSO: i think you should probably relax a bit i doubt your heart can take the strain of internet rage induced high blood pressure.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

I think someone is getting a little tetchy. Wotsit cock? I hear better insults on the playground.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)
Can't buy this, I'm an internet fatty
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-22916067.html

So I would have difficulty with the size of the bathroom.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:00, Reply)
I'd have trouble with paying £220,000 for a one-bed flat!

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:01, Reply)
That's a fair wack less than my 1 bed is worth, shit be crazy in London town

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:02, Reply)
fo' shizzle

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Mortgage payments on that with any sort of deposit
would be less than most rents in London. At least for somewhere that isn't a converted garage. And by converted I mean "nailed the main door shut and ran an extension lead from the house".
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:06, Reply)
This'll do me
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-31879643.html
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:11, Reply)
Looks like they bought their bath from Mork and Mindy.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)
There are some mental houses in Jesmond

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)
those 2d bathrooms are all the rage.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I'm thinking about going for something like this for the short term
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-27296782.html
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:07, Reply)
Living in MK is basically free isn't it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:08, Reply)
Yep, it's because it's so out of the way in the middle of nowhere.
Good 35 whole minutes to Euston.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Great if you work in Euston Station

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)
The garden/yard is nice but it looks fucking grim

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:09, Reply)
It could be better but that'll basically cut my rent/bills in half from my current place.
And I can live with that.
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:10, Reply)
Fair enough, go for it
Summer months should be good in the yard
(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:15, Reply)
Lots of nice pubs on the street as well.

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)
Go for it

(, Mon 14 May 2012, 14:31, Reply)

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