Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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11:08 - New Thread o'clockBored with non-gay chilli squid now.
Sell yourself to offtopic. One paragraph of why we should hire YOU. Yes YOU, the grubby one. There. You! I'm pointing at you now
Alt:
Or another b3tan
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:09,
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Depends on what you're hiring me for. I can hardly sell myself if I don't know what I'm getting into now can I?(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:12, Reply)
He's looking for a concubine.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:14,
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Quintz, alright mate, soz I didn't reply before.The squid/octopus thing also works on frog's legs. It's the [chemical name for salt] in the soy sauce makes the mussels contract and expand to give it the apparence that it's still alive.
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Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:32,
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Mayhab it is, mayhab it ain't(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:34,
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I'm a results driven team player responsible for multiple accounts and direct reports.I'm extremely creative and great at working to deadlines, I thrive on challenges and I am motivated to expand my learning going forward.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:14, Reply)
you forgot "pro-active"would have been a buzzword bingo full house
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I'm honest, hardworking, a team player and can also take solo iniative...What a load of bollocks. Really, has anyone ever believed a CV/covering letter or written one honestly? As For SWOT analyses, I can't still get my head round them. What are my weaknesses? I'm idle, drink too much, and aren't very punctual. Please hire me. WTF.
Alt, I'd hire Monty. I'm sure he's really Boris Johnson, we could drink fizz and verbally abuse people.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I have no experience in counting paperclips and only occasionally change printer cartridgessorry o/t I'm not what you're looking for
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:26,
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i've always wanted to be 'part' of a forum, it's lonely being the shunned outsider(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:31,
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Change your username to something vaguely female you'll get away with anything.(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:32, Reply)
tried that, got totally perma banned after a weekI musn't have been very convincing
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:37,
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my enormous breasts bring all the boys to the yard(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:40,
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I don't think he was.Although I do suspect he might be the person using BGB's rejected username on qotw at the moment.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:06,
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is that not really the real BGB then?i thought it was, it seems like her
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:25, Reply)
I believe it's part of what's known as 'a mental breakdown'She's renamed her original account, switcherooed the name to another account and now posts under the second account as 'Big Girls Blouse', mostly to gob off at lothario fat mental american 'the resident loon'. This all means something, somewhere, I'm pretty sure.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:39,
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But am a functional alcoholic, have a warped sex drive and keep heads in the fridge.Maybe a position for me?
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:30, Reply)
#insert THAT'S THE JOKE pic here#(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:45,
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FFSDaimler is a car manufacturer
Dahmer was a head manufacturer
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:08,
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Which one is the chocolate bar?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:12,
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it used to be dime but now it's daimthey had taht armadillo advert but i don't think he killed anyone or ran a carcompany
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:18, Reply)
So who was the guitarist in Pantera?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:20,
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dimebag darrellno affiliation to the chocolate bar, car company or serial killer i'm afraid
his name apparently comes from the fact that he used to carry bags of diamonds worth a dime of drugs or something
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:24, Reply)
So who was the actress who played the mermaid in Splash?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:34,
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So who was the lead guitarist in The Shadows?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:47,
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So who presented Holiday '85?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:04,
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So who was the singer in The Lemonheads?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:06,
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You know it's Blizzard have banned the name Psycho from their gamesSo I can't be PsychoChomp on Diablo 3, I have to be PsychChomp. Which is gay I'm sure you'll agree.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:33, Reply)
PsychChomp sounds really disturbing for some reason(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:35,
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Sounds like he's put someone off by biting them.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:52,
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What am I going to have for my lunch?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:54,
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I'm in the same predicamentMight have to get a subway
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:57,
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This may be a good planEither that or visit the legendary "Baps" for a sandwich
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:01,
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This is one of the first signs of a stroke(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:45,
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It doesn't look as though there are many applicants to this job.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:02,
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Fucking welfare state sponging cunts(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:03,
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The problem with these peopleis that they don't want to work
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:04,
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Exam one finished.I don't want to to work for you, what's so good about you huh? Wanker.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Well, my belt is bigger than your beltOh, hang on. It isn't
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:59,
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I spend most of my day on OT, I am lazy, I steal office suppliesI take 2 hour lunches every day, I watch TV online at my desk. Hire me
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PhillieJoe, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:39,
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How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishmannone
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PhillieJoe, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:52,
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You'd be a shoe in if only you'd brought 'scent of a womans fanny' on your chubby fingersthose days are gone phillie
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:42,
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That was just a tuna sandwich(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:44,
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I had to turn down a pub visit this lunchtime due to work*shakes head*
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 12:58,
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Duncan Norvelle is going to the pub with you?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:05,
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Yeah? Well fuck you then, Ape.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:00,
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*joins in*GO ON, FUCK OFF!!
Me and tangles will run /offtopic this afternoon then
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:06,
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There er...Really is only you and me in here, sporto.
Did everyone go outside?
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:11,
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Should I turn off the lights or something, if I'm the last one in here?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:14,
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Sorry, w*rk getting in the way againCarry on
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:14,
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It is annoying when that happens.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:15,
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What feels like the 743rd run through of my latest scripts....zzzzzzzzzzz
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:15,
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I don't even know what that means.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:18,
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Every time I have to make a change to some code, I need to test itThis takes about 45 mins and is not tedious at all
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:20,
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Why didn't you just do that in the first place?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:22,
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Our wonderful developers keep changing thingsThis means I have to change things afterwards to fix it
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:23,
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I was feeling like that this afternoon while I was finishing my assignment.then I finished it and felt better.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Evening.I'm snuggled up in bed watching Friends. I feel it is a good reward for finishing my mahoosive assignment.
how are you?
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:16, Reply)
FullI've eaten too many sandwiches
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:16,
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I got given a dozen bread rolls for free today.the student union was doing lunch and my friend is one of the volunteers, and she gave it to me when no one was looking.
(, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:17, Reply)
I've just eaten 4I feel sick now
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:19,
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Well if you want to run /ot with me and sporto you need to do more than just lie there watching shit telly.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:22,
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Like my co-owner says belowGO on, start a new thread
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sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:26,
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I'm not asking a lotJust be more entertaining than work.
It shouldn't be too hard.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:25,
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It's fucking £28.99 for a 2-disc DVD of Noggin the Nog!!!!!!!!!!!Broken fucking Britain RIGHT HERE.
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Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Tue 22 May 2012, 13:29,
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And all that goes to boosting the economy of NorthlandsWe here in Britain will see very little benefit.
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tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:33,
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Yet the complete Mysterious Cities of Gold (6 discs) is only 15 quidWhat a world
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:34,
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It's a theme tune that will stick with all those that have heard it(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:39,
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Aaaaaahooooohooohohaaaaah one day we will find the ci-ties of gold.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:43,
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Oooh I'm having that shit(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Tue 22 May 2012, 13:39,
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Zavvi innitFree delivery and EVERYFINK
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Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:40,
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*fist bumps* long time(
Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:43,
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I think I stopped watching it on BBC1 as the monkey faced one and the fat one used to get on my tits(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:40,
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Oh man, I didn't get off at the right bus stop and it caused me to be 5 minutes down the road from my office and there is a really good sushi place and a really good sandwich place and really good everything really.OH BOY, I fucking _love_ working near sushi places.
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Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:33,
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day off today wooNow I am sitting in The Dispensary waiting for a steak burger and drinking a pint.
Later I will hopefully be getting my broadband connected so I can stop sponging off the neighbours, they keep turning their router off, the cunts.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:35,
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Getting your winnits sandblasted off again?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:36,
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it's a pub, you oaf...but yes.
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The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Tue 22 May 2012, 13:43,
Reply)
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