Well this is good isn't it?
No it fucking isn't.

I'm bored and now I can piss about on here a bit all you cunts seem to have died. Normally I'd be pleased about this but not today.

I don't know, ah, what's the shittest item of clothing you've ever owned? I used to have a psychedelic Stonehenge-design top with FLARED SLEEVES. I looked like a bent wizard in it. I also used to have a Dead-head style TIE DYE T SHIRT. That was also uber-bent. I also used to have a PATCHWORK WAISTCOAT which my brother made. Bent. And WOODEN BEADS (also bent). Later on I had a WHITE HOODY with an OM sign on it (chutney ferret).

Christ, I think I might kill myself. Luckily I successfully avoided cameras for the most part.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:46, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have chinos.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Are they multiplying?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)

I've added anions to the left leg and cations to the right leg.
It's electrifying.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)

This is my best post ever.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:54, Reply)

I'm neutral on this matter

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

I fear you are right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)

You should be charged for this
with battery.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

LTI

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

i have never owned shit clothes
never have I been seen in stripey shorts and purple tights, a yellow beret or tie dye tops. Nope, never worn robes or a sparkly jacket with butterflies on, or denim Doc Martens or loud waistcoats. And i DEFINITELY have never made my own clothes.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)

Phew! That would have been well bent.
My brother and I had matching black roll-necks and jade green flares which my mother made for us from patterns, in the 1970s. We looked like a Children's Film Foundation production. Only worse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)

did you go on adventures
in slightly dingey places?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Yes. Third-rate ones in places that looked suspiciously like vacant lots in Pinewood.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)

also a shit-brown leather jacket with an enormous collar ideally

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)

and dirty lace up tennis shoes

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Standard-issue CFF kit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I've got some hilarious geeky t-shirts
and a pair of these: maxfitllc.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/vibram.jpg that I used to wear to the pub until my mates girlfriend made me stop.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)

She was right to do that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)

I accept this

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

those shoes make me shudder
it's not right to have things between one's toes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Not even doritos?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)

my toes cringed when I read that

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)

They look like gorilla feet.
I liked your Bristol bash t shirt.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I liked his coat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)

As if you can remember ANYTHING from that weekend...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 16:59, Reply)

I remember it all in lurid detail.
I am NAILS, remember?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)

No, that's Amberl.
You are a gyppo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I have never been so insulted in my life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)

I think I'd only worn it twice before
for fear of offending someone. But it was tailor made for that bash.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

While I was a student
I wore this fabulous pair of hot pink tartan hotpant type shorts. Of course, being a student, I used to wear them over black tights with dockers, but still... Enough to make a sex pest go soft, I'm sure you will agree.

Unfortunately, I believe there is some photographic evidence of this somewhere.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 16:54, Reply)

haha
when I was a student, there was a time when I had blue and green checked surfer trousers, orange shirt, purple DMs, red hat and turquoise hair.

In my defence, I was an art student
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I used to love wearing those button up flowery dresses that were popular in the nineties
With a white polo neck, black jodhpurs, and dockers. And I made myself a floppy black velvet hat. But I already told you that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)

:)
man, I miss the 90s
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)

I'm sorry but there is no defence for that
You must have looked as though you had gotten dressed in the dark. Or had severe colourblindness.
(berk, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

ha
I still frequently do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Again.
Shopping.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I'm being bullied into being socially acceptable!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

It's called becoming a grown up.
Sometimes you just have to man up and do it.

Mind you, you're an art subject teacher, so you can probably get away with it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

i had a union jack shirt for years that i never even wore once

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:54, Reply)

You should wear it to the first bash you attend.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)

He's coming round mine for tea on Saturday, and should wear it then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)

am I?????!?!?!
oh boy i'd best get my chinos ironed
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)

No need.
I've got some in the cupboard ready for you. 34in waist, right?

You post like a 34in waist, I'll bet I'm right. Tell me I'm right.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)

I've not been a 34 inch waste in over a decade =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)

I take the same size clothes as I did at 18.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

so do I.
Mind you, I was fat then too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:12, Reply)

OMG YOUR RIGHT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Just bring your 'jim-jams' then.
5 o'clock alright?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:12, Reply)

i got rid of it a while ago
hideous thing it was
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Why do you hate your country?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Since he went all muslamic he's been like this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:59, Reply)

because i have to pay tax on my sausage rolls

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:59, Reply)

A valid reason if ever I heard it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I bought a red and white vertical stripe short sleeve shirt once, I thought it was great.
Then my mates started to ask me for 99's and cornettos. I binned it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)

I had an ex who occasionally wore a trilby.
Until my incessant 'Greggs' lolz drove her to binning it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:59, Reply)

I wonder what drove her to bin you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)

Oh but did she?
NO SHE DID NOT. I don't think I have ever been binned by a 'chick'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:03, Reply)

Ok, where did you dump the body then?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Your garden. Soz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)

I don't get it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WORKED AT GREGGS!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Do they wear trilbys?
I havne't been to one for ages, I'm more of a M&S food man.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I'm not whether they do or not but it sho' nuff pissed her off.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)

man, I miss gregg's
stupid diet. Perhaps I will celebrate in a month's time or something by replacing all the lost flab with steak bakes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I have never attended a Greggs.
There's an equivalent calls 'Percy Ingles' near my home, but I've never been there either.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:17, Reply)

I wore a trilby to a wedding once.
To be fair, I was also wearing a pinstriped trouser suit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

LESBIAN RUGMUNCHER HAHAHAHAHAHA

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)

My lesbian rugmuncher mate wore a dress.
One of only two times I have ever seen her in a dress.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)

I have a brown trilby
with gold thread. I like it, I care not if anyone else does. Or the black fedora, or the purple fedora or the red floppy hat or the red or yellow straw hats
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:12, Reply)

I'll have two sausage rolls with that love
chop chop
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)

Can I have two sausage rolls and a chelsea bun please?


Oops soz, I thought I was in Greggs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)

may I recommend the toffee doughnut?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:15, Reply)

Euphemism of the week

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:15, Reply)

I had a pair of pink corduroy flares when I was 17
I have also been known to make my own clothes. I also had some 'interesting' items of clothing when I was going through my lolgoth phase.
(berk, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)

Did you know that it's WORLD GOTH DAY today?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)

I did not
I gave up on that shizzle quite a while ago. It's difficult to be a short, fat (as I was then), light-brown-curly haired goth. It just doesn't look right.
(berk, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I was too jovial even to consider it.
My brother was (and still is on the inside) a 'superb' goth. Proper 80s style, massive black back-combed hair, capes, crushed velvet purple trews, THE LOT. There are pictures. Oh, there are pictures.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)

I was never really miserable enough either
I certainly didn't have the dedication to the look your brother seems to have achieved.
(berk, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)

What 'massive wanker'?
It takes a lot of work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

You would be if you were related to Monty.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

You look more like a Charles II dandy.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

I act like one too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

The Alans are my favourite tribe.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:03, Reply)

A-HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)

I'm up for rampaging across Europe rampaging and pillaging
who's with me?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Been there, done that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I think we all did that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

Clutching at straws there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:08, Reply)

in what way?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

unless i'm mistaken only internet birds are short, fat and dress like the mentally ill

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)

I'm fairly tall

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)

WHEN YOU'VE FALLEN OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!1

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:19, Reply)

There are no women on the internet.
Well, no attractive ones, anyway.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)

That one in the Gonz link was well FIT

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:17, Reply)

I'm dating one.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:17, Reply)

So am I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:21, Reply)

*vipros style high-five*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:23, Reply)

I'd like to meet your 'lady'.
Why not bring her to town and we'll feed you both?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:27, Reply)

I will at some point and I'll let you know.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:32, Reply)

V good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:37, Reply)

I just got an email from BT
offering me an 8GB Android tablet, normally £130, for £100. Unbeatable value! The email cried.

First page of google shows 30 places selling that exact model for £75. I think they may be unclear on the meaning of 'unbeatable'.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)

Unbeatable cheek.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 17:15, Reply)

I'm pretty sure "Android" tablets are beatable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:19, Reply)

Yawn

( Kroney, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:06, Reply)

I have had sun, beer and a haircut
I'd say today was excellent for a tuesday
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:18, Reply)

I was on the radio again!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:42, Reply)

"police are on the lookout for a colourblind nonce" doesn't count

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:58, Reply)

Did you break it?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 22 May 2012, 19:15, Reply)

OMG "I'm gonna get you sucka" and "The last dragon" Refs. in one day? Monts you amaze me. You have the glow.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 22 May 2012, 18:53, Reply)

I laugh at some of the Adidas trainers I had.
They were horrendous. No one needs bright yellow Spezials with bright blue stripes.
I make up for it by being suave as fuck now though. Two blokes asked where I got my t-shirt from whilst in Greenwich Park today. I told them not to worry about it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 May 2012, 19:07, Reply)