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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've started to get African spam emails in Spanish.
'saludos,


Somos de una de las familias reales de Ghana que han dado a varias tierras con el fin de la minería de oro en Ghana es rica en oro. Como resultado de los ancianos de las tierras de heces están sujetos a derechos de autor de vez en forma de tiempo de las empresas mineras.'

ETC

How about that, eh?

Alt: everyone loves a barbecue, don't they? But what's best on the old 'Klaus'?

Alt alt: Do you like cookery programmes? What, in your worthless opinion, is the best one ever?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:45, 194 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
this
This is the best you could do?

*shakes head*

Not a fucking Nigerian general in sight
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)
I got NOTHING apart from the AIDS on my back.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:48, Reply)
Steak is best on the bbq
if you have someone who knows what they're doing and you don't use a cheep bbq. You need good air inlets at the bottom and you need a grill under the coal to let the ash drop away.
If you don't have that, chicken kebabs or lamb kofte things are good.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
I need a new BBQ
My old one died
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:55, Reply)
barbeques are okay.
i can't sleep and its way past my bedtime.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
you're a terrible australian.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)
I can live with that.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:51, Reply)
The Fun Lovin' Criminals follow up single?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:54, Reply)
It was Hall and Oates you IDIOT.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:58, Reply)
I didn't get the joke at all until you said that.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:01, Reply)
On Googling it was I can't get with that

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:04, Reply)
YOU IDIOT

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)
Correct, You are an idiot.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:07, Reply)
THAT@S THE ....
You idiot
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:08, Reply)
The spanish have loads of money or "mazooma" in their language, to fritter away

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)
Needs MOAR bile

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:10, Reply)
I've got gallons of the stuff.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:11, Reply)
Ducting is needed

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)
I've got nowhere to keep it.
As my gall bladder has been removed.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Another top bbq tip is to get those half baked chiabattas
slice them up uncooked, cover with a fair amount of olive oil then put on the grill until they get awesome grill marks. Great for dipping or with salad if you're a gay.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)
That's an excellent half baked idea.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:52, Reply)
Fucking hell, I'd never thought of that.
Good skills.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:53, Reply)
It picks up some flavours from the grill so placement is important

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Thinly cut steak instead of burger
Foiled up potato, salt, pepper, olive oil and rosemary for an hour
Kebabs with chorizo and halloumi on them
A loaf tin full of sliced onions and olive oil, left for hours to caramelise
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:53, Reply)
I'm going to try the rosemary/thyme on the coals and using a bowl to trap the smoke in too

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
butterflied leg of lamb with garlic and rosemary
beer can chicken

bone in rib of beef, as long as it's a thin single rib and you aren't one of these medium or well done Berties.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:55, Reply)
Belly pork is amazing on a BBQ

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Oh, fuck, yeah, I'd forgotten that.
There's this honey and soy marinade that I found the recipe for somewhere that is the absolute bollocks on belly pork.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:57, Reply)
Five spice powder also wins

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:57, Reply)
I think it would at least be polite to reply in er....Ghanian.
Alt Alt: Anything involving Keith Floyd, although as a back-up I'll settle for drizzling Nigella Lawson in my gentleman's dressing.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 14:59, Reply)
Sophie Dahl for me.
Jeeeesus
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
You Twit

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
I've got to be in with a shot, at least.
She's married to professional midget Jamie Callum. Clearly standards are low.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
Everything is low if you are Jamie Cullum
I think Nigella would win for me, the filthy minx
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
SOMETHING ABOUT BATTERED!!!!!

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
FANNY?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:17, Reply)
christ, don't confuse those on here who can't even write in english properly
haloumi is the best thing for a bbq.

meat can fuck right off.

i have managed to avoid cookery programmes for my entire life. which is too fucking short for cookery programmes.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:09, Reply)
Veggie BBQs must be a right fucking laugh a year
BBQ=MEAT
MEAT=WIN

Maths innit?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:10, Reply)
HERE I AM ITS OK NOW

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:13, Reply)
Cookery programmes are excellent if you like to cook
There is always one thing that you'd like to cook.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
it's boring people talking about boring food and then eating it in front of your face without sharing it
how is that excellent?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
it's food porn presented by semi attractive women
for men who can't get it up any other way
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:22, Reply)
Nigella is attractive
I'd just worry that halfway through, I'd see her Dad staring back at me
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:35, Reply)
What the fuck is the point of a veggie BBQ?
Cheese anyone? Fuck sake.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
Needs MOAR nutloaf

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:17, Reply)
This is easily the best thread ever.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:10, Reply)
Yeah, lets all post our favourite spam emails
You fucking plum
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:11, Reply)
Yes!!!!
Sporty's been drink-ing, Sporty's been drink-ing
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)
\o/
*falls off chair*
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
i had a bbq at lunch, it was nice
what's that about klaus?

i sometimes catch sunday brunch, those blokes have the least charisma of any blokes i've ever seen
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
Klaus Barbie.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:14, Reply)
is that like a christmas dolly for girls?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
It's like Christmas for Jewish people.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
he killed che guevara, is it his fault for all those t shirts?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:17, Reply)
Klaus Barbie
A Nazi war criminal
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
all war is a crime, man

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:17, Reply)
No Quentin, they are all a shame.
But some are legal.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:18, Reply)
i was being a hippie
you, idiot
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Using woodchips, such as Apple, Cherry, Maple, Hickory, and Oak adds a more distinctive flavour.
Also using marinades, rubs and flavoured butters.

Alt Alt: Heat seekers (Food network sky 262) thats freeveiw 49 for you Monty on most nights at 9.30pm
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)
I saw the one in New Orleans and really wanted to go there.
The Mexican presenter is a fucking helmet though.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:16, Reply)
Good for a giggle though.
How was the concert BTW
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:18, Reply)
Fucking brilliant thanks.
Major lineup change but they're still excellent, HH. EXCELLENT.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Hello, who are you?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I'm me who who are you?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)
I'm psychochomp,
I just love stupid answers to simple questions. It's so endearing.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)
No probs

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:25, Reply)
*Tim Henman air fist*
Space X has docked with the ISS.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:26, Reply)
Spacedocking FTW

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:26, Reply)
First private company ever to do it.
This is a big deal sporto
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:28, Reply)
I know this

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:29, Reply)
Then why are you thinking about poo!?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Purely for the misinterpreting lols
I'm bored Chompy, boooooooooored
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:31, Reply)
I've seen too many films to trust the idea of private companies being allowed space ships.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
This^

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
I don't care.
if they can go up there and do something useful and make money, all power too them.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:31, Reply)
Making money is theft, innit.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)
No

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
yes

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
Why?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:35, Reply)
He's a fucking hippy that's why.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Well durr
I wanted a hippy reason
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I don't care
fucking get on with it humanity, we need some good reliable and reuseable single stage to orbit craft, should have happened by the 90s you lazy government cunts.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:35, Reply)
This is really good news.
It shows that travel in space is a venture far all, not just governments.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:28, Reply)
*ahem*
all rich people
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Wasn't the first brit to fly a coachman?
There's hope for you yet CQ.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)
I have no clue what you mean Bart.
Have you been drinking?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:33, Reply)
I have
*puts hand up*
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
i'd noticed

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)
*whispers*
Are you my boss?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:36, Reply)
yes, I am.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
fuuuuuuuuck

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
No, but I wish I was.
I think the first brit in a hang glider was pushed off a hill by his boss.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:35, Reply)
relevence?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:55, Reply)
And it is currently offloading its precious cargo
of waterproof trousers to the soggy-kneed inhabitants of the space station. Good work, private contractors!
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:29, Reply)
Does it rain often in space then?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:36, Reply)
Yes.
They have meteor showers.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:41, Reply)
OMG ANOTHER SELF ABSORBED POST BY POPS WHO HASN'T EVEN READ THE ORIGONAL POST !!!!
A collegue today pointed out that Stephen Fry and No10Gov (uk prime minister) follows me on twitter.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
William Shatner is my friend on Google plus.
best thing ever.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Mrs Cow was on Google Plus
until William Shat'ner
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:40, Reply)
I would rather you didn't mock my close personal friends name.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:41, Reply)
He's presenting Have...I...GotNews..For....You tonight

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
omfg is he?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Dammit I'm a code monkey not a TV guide!
Yes he is, unless I dreamt it
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:52, Reply)

www.onthebox.com
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I'm drinking for Poppet

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:38, Reply)
Excellent work

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:39, Reply)
You still thinking about the York trip?
If so i have some excellent suggestions
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I am indeed
Suggest on, my man
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:43, Reply)
I'll gaz em to you

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Please do

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:48, Reply)
Alt: Chinese style pork steaks
The food for tomorrow

Alt alt: I'm currently really enjoying Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
What is in the bag on the left?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Hot wings

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Excellent

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:52, Reply)
Sausages are shit bbq food.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)
You need a good farm shop
Prime cuts
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)
the bbq burger i had at the weekend was shit
i should have had a sausage :(
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:48, Reply)
Not if they're good sausages

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 15:52, Reply)
They'll burn to fuck
some will split and they take loads of time to look after. Much better on a pan.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:03, Reply)
Not if you turn them often

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Not if you get one of those sausage grills, like a fish grill, but for sausages
then you can flip them all in one easy motion.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Good plan
I just roll them onto the next bar across every minute or so
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:07, Reply)
You'll still lose all the juice to the coals
waste of time they are.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:07, Reply)
my sausages don't split
are you trying to cook before your coal is grey?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Good sausages won't split.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Good sausages swallow

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
or you kno0w, if you cook them properly

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Did you reply to the wrong person?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:10, Reply)
I think he is agreeing with you

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
i was agreeing with you

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I agree

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
he's obviously some sort of idiot

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
I agree

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)

     
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
She likes to clean it before "work"

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:19, Reply)
'

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
ROSSAGES.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
RAGGY?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
ROOOO NOOOOOO

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Meddling kids
*shakes fist*
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:14, Reply)
*fists kids*
*gets a medal*
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)


(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
'Well first of all I'd like to thank my parents, without whom I wouldn't be here...'

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:37, Reply)
I keep getting emails in Spanish trying to offer me jobs.
I can only assume it's because I've been replying to Aber in Spanish on fb.

What's going on, internet shutins? Oh em gee it's fucking hot.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)
Nothing, it would seem
How goes it, my Scottish uber-breasted friend?
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I'm hot. That's about the most I can say.
A couple of days ago, one of my best friends had a baby. I've been starting to feel all warm and snuggly about babies.
Then today, I was in a shop toilet, and there was a woman there with a toddler with some soiled pull ups. My ' babies are evil' seeing has been restored.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Toddler shit fucking stinks
This is a good plan
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Children can fuck right off.
This is all.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
No, they can't.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Nonce.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:40, Reply)
i don't have kids, not got anything against them per se
but i'll tell you what the most offensive thing in the whole entire world is:

obese kids, i saw an 8 year old girl the other day who was easily 12 stone
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:40, Reply)
I bet she had fat parents.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)

fat Scottish
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
You say potato, I say bag o' chips.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
It's child abuse.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
it really is, it's disgusting and we need to set up labour camps for it NOW

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
63 stone teenager on the front page of the tabloids this morning.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Okay, whose mum sold their school photo?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
b3th's

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
: (

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
It's a con, there's no jobs in Spain.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Barbecue food
Leg of lamb butterflied and marinaded in a mix of all the shite hanging around in the cupboards - normally anchovy,wine,herbs,garlic,rosemary, prosciutto.....cooked it a few times and the BF loves it so must be due to do it again.
Serve it with sliced oiled griddled aubergine and aioli.
Alt alt: yes - in my worthless opinion anything Nigella does with her extra butter and sugar in everything. Graham Kerr, Ainsley Harriot and antony Worral Thompson can feck right off.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
This sounds good until aioli

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
aioli
is optional but it is nice to dip the aubergine into something
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Garlic mayo, basically
wonderful stuff.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
An excellent scrabble word if you've a tray full of vowels, too

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
I dont like it

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I don't like you either.
THIS IS A STAR WARS JOKE!!!!!
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
I endorse a repeat run of this recipe.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:38, Reply)
We're having a barbie at work next week,
as there's a junkie/alkie unit here it will be alcohol free.
Alcohol free barbecue? WTF.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:14, Reply)
May as well be meat free too

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
So that'll be grilled rolls, corn on the cob and salad?
Plus Vimto? Party on dude.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Naked ape is thinking about your arse.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:22, Reply)
This is in the wrong place, but also probably accurate.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Your arse is in the wrong place

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
what do you think the right place is NA?
Because if you're going to say "on my cock" I'll have to strongly dissagree.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
On your mum's cock

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Sounds like Man Vs Food

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
UNLIKE YOUR ARSE!!

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:21, Reply)
This isn't Facebook you double posting, double penetrated buffoon

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
UNLIKE YOUR ARSE!!

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:21, Reply)
So funny I said it twice
More becks barkeep
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
You need less Posh, never mind more Becks

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Can Posh even get any lesser?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Fire free

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:21, Reply)
We have a new health and safety twat,
she'll be in her sodding element with something involvind lots of people, food , electrical stuff and naked flames.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
You said naked

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
I'm touching myself

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Bloody hell, a Pipkins fan.
I liked the Brummie pig.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Topov the Cockney monkeys rules

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Vaya con dios

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
*Googles*

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:22, Reply)

Exams finished, the rest of the summer is mine.
(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:14, Reply)
Sings Ella Fitzgerald's "summer time"

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
What are you going to do with it, now you've finished failing your exams?

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:25, Reply)
Enjoy the rest of my birthday you arsehole.

(, Fri 25 May 2012, 17:31, Reply)

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