My slightyl weird building manager person is leaving today to move to New Zealand with her husband.
She's invited everyone out for drink up the road after work. I feel I should go because I'm a nice person and would hate her to do this and have no-one turn up, but on the other hand, I don't really know her and, as I said, she's a bit weird.

Should I go, or should I claim to be really busy and working late and then leave by the back door?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:28, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've completed the graph

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Both those colours appear to be the same?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)

Have a guess which one refers to which.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)

I think that colour there refers to the colour of the graph.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)

No wonder the NHS is going down the pan and nobody can get treatment anymore.
When their chef graphologist can't even make a simple pie chart.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I never go to crap like that, I'm not a nice person though

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Thy wouldn't invite you anyway.
Because you're a cock.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Well that's true
You been bashing up pakis in cheetham hill again?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

Wasn't aware that I had.
But thanks for asking.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)

The second option.
I try not to socialise with work colleagues, I see enough of the fuckers during the day.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:31, Reply)

Why bother going? It's not like you're going to see her again.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)

Go for a quick drink but leave first.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)

maybe you should try HRT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:36, Reply)

Hi Q, how are you today?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:42, Reply)

splendid thanks, not sure i trust you being nice to me tho

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:42, Reply)

He's not really being nice, it's a code
How are you today really means, I think I'm superior to you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)

that's ok, if i was going to spend my summer watching daytime tv covered in my own dried sperm i'd feel pretty superior too

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)

I think he's proving that they are two different people
If they were the same person then he would already know how he was.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)

it's a ploy!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Nobody could possibly have a conversation with themselves.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)

Yes they fucking could.

(althegeordie is not really a geordie, is really a virgin, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)

unless they opened two seperate browsers with private browsing turned on
and used two different proxies to post from so the mods couldn't see

a lot of effort though
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)

You wouldn't even need the two proxies if you only wanted to fool the rest of us.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

yes you fucking would.

(althegeordie is not really a geordie, is really a virgin, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

you're sweary

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)

He's not even the real me which makes it worse.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)

yes it fucken is

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Oh, that's too bad. What is making your day so splendid?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)

ITS FRIDAY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Yes it is, are you doing anything nice over the Bank holiday weekend?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48, Reply)

washing the car tomorrow
is that ok with you?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Of course it is, what car do you drive?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

a blue one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)

I have a red one.
So mine goes faster.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)

yeah but at the end you'll miss the bridge and i'll fly away

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)

Me too!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)

what flavour?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Citroen C5. It's nice but not terribly exciting. Does just over 500 miles on a tank which is much better than my last car.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)

man this is dull

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I'll dmaakm.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)

I washed my van on tuesday because the server was off so no-one could do any work.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)

you're not supposed to clean vans
its the only opportunity many chavs get to practise writing
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)

Shit in her pint and punch her in the face then you can leave

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:37, Reply)

I wouldn't go
everyone at work hates you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)

And so does my mum.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:46, Reply)

These aren't even people what work with/for me
they are people that work in the same building as the one in which I rent an office. So I only know her form saying hello when I walk past her on my way in and out of the building.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Oh that's different then
They all really like you. You should definitely go.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Awww, thanks. I will.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)

This is science
www.cracked.com/article_19834_5-scientific-explanations-your-sexual-perversions.html
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)

i don't like cracked dot com, it's alway 'THE TEN MOST SHOCKING... THE 5 MOST DISTURBING....
THE 6 MOST UNBELIEVABLE....' and then its just some shit about super mario that was never shocking anyway
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)

SEVEN REASONS WHY QUENTIN DOESN'T LIKE CRACKED.COM

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)

that should be 'THE SEVEN MOST DISGUSTING REASONS....'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)

Take advantage and fuck her up the arse

( Peej, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I have been considering this for a while.
But I just get the feeling that she's one of those ones that would contact the police.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:58, Reply)

I'd say go along, you don't necessarily have to stay
I'm off to a 'leaving' do tomorrow, as my friend is off to Ibiza for 4 months. On the upside, I'm also potentially seeing a couple of b3tans tomorrow, so that's good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)

at amanda's leaving do last week i thought we were going to make a night of it but the gf wanted to leave after one drink
i was gutted, i'd have loved to stay the whole night

oh and guess what it was her daughter did that upset amanda?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:03, Reply)

Put her on ignore?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

+unfriended her on facebook

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Bullied in OT?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Did she have sexual relations with that woman, miss lewinsky?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

she did not have sexual relations with that woman

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Masturbated with a crucifix, screaming 'FUCK JESUS, FUCK ME!'?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

pregnant innit

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Ah, that can upset parents, certainly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)

i got to give amanda a big hug though, her boobs felt lovely

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Did you hug her with your hands in front of your chest?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)

no i just squashed her right up against me
she was all puffy eyed from the crying
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)

She had Darth eyes?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)

Def con bongle right there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)

She's the one who has been stealing people's names on here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

you never know, crack on to the next one you see
she might be 5 weeks gone but you still would
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Thanks for the tip, mate.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Shat the bed.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

no, but SHE WILL
lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

LOL!
(I don't get it)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)

pregnant women tend to shit themselves in labour

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)

I missed the bit about her being pregnant.
Shame, another vagina bites the dust.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)

too much too young too fast

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)

Don't fucking go
I don't even turn up for my staff Xmas do. Eff that yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)

They probably told you it was in a different place anyway.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:19, Reply)

I did wonder why it was being held in the Orkneys.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)

I went to a staff xmas do once
it was the most depressing thing I have ever attended and I have attended my best mates funeral.
( Peej, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)

About 15 years ago
I went to one, but had some massively ill-advised lines before the meal, couldn't eat or maintain eye contact, made up a lie about DJing somewhere and chipped.

It was in a jolly nice restaurant in Fulham as well, the next day I was v gutted. And hungry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)

so drugs ruined your life?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

They ruined my appetite one evening.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

thats about teh same thing

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:41, Reply)

His drenis is almost completely druggled.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

damn you, snowman!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Mine was in some posh hotel
I was on a table with two governors and the Ranga who did the photocopying. The Ranga spent the whole night pretending he was a teacher and discussing how rewarding teaching was with the governors. I didn't blow his cover but I found it even more depressing when I realised that he was more passionate about teaching than any of the real teachers would ever have been and the governors probably left thinking that the schools teaching staff were excellent.
( Peej, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

I always go to ours, as the MD has very deep pockets on that day, and pays for everything
Won't even let you buy a pint, it's great!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Work christmas parties are HELL.
It seems I always get collared by one person who moans that you're not paying them enough and wants to know why someone else got the promotion they felt they deserved themselves.

Then there's the contrived & forced 'joviality' among a bunch of people who dislike each other for the rest of the year, those who moan they've not allowed to bring their partner (even when the company is picking up the tab) and the sight of the sad mid 50's salesman with a comb over who spends the whole evening drinking bottled ale and tries to fuck any reasonably attractive woman under 40.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Ugh. Foul.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Our Christmas party is epic, free food, free booze nice people
Maybe you should try not working with twats
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:31, Reply)

Your colleagues don't enjoy it so much.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

It's Battered's colleagues I feel sorry for.
they have to watch him drinking bottled ale and trying to fuck any reasonable woman under 40.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:35, Reply)

I only hope he doesn't get violent when they spurn his advances.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Kneecappings are pretty nasty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:37, Reply)

1.bp.blogspot.com/-oQqmpfGeOaE/T5bZyHbtjrI/AAAAAAAABac/s81CIuJeEtM/s200/Best-Of-Tyrion-Lannister-m.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I heard he gets quite hitty if they spurn his advances by flashing strobe lights at him.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:37, Reply)

h f
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk75xsG2yv1qzhe6eo1_500.gif
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)

If you haven't watched game of thrones yet, you fucking should.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Such a pointless request.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I think he'd enjoy it,
based roughly on the war of the roses so he might pretend it's historical.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Google describes it as Medieval Fantasy
For that reason, plus the fact that seems quite popular with the more nerdy members of this board, I'm out.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)

lots of tits

(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)

I wouldn't say all the nerds on here were tits.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

some are twats

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)

generally
the nerdier the nerd, the more of a cunt they are. i think it might have something to do with too much time spent pretending to be an invincible hero and getting all the chicks, so that they think they are capable of this in real life.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Emilia Clarke always gets her boobs out.
She's awesome.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

I don't have a lot of spare time, Chompy
I'll wait until someone has compiled them into a more easily digestible form on the internet and then I won't have to sit through the whole programme.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 15:02, Reply)

I can't fucking stand lord of the rings, but Game Of Thrones is the best telly series I've ever seen ever.
no exasoration
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

I OFFERED TO FUCK YOU AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE COMMON MANNERS TO SAY THANK YOU

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:37, Reply)

common and manners in the same sentence

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

ha ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I bet _she's_ on Al's linkedin. Bitch.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 15:03, Reply)

They all think you're that prick who gets overly worked up about the car park.
I'd stay well clear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Nah, me and Richard are on good terms now.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:28, Reply)

you love dick?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I wouldn't say I love him, but he seems a nice chap

(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Go, and steal stuff from her office.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Go.
Doing stuff is better than not doing stuff.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)

you should go
because people want other people to go to their leaving drinks. you can fuck off after half a shandy.

i am trying to find somewhere nice to go on sunday that isn't pissing it down. everywhere in the uk is therefore out. so i think, maybe we try europe. paris? raining. prague? raining. amsterdam? raining. madrid? hot but fucking raining. what is it about sunday? why is the whole of fucking europe RAINING?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)

i have heard that the current climate in Europe is pretty dire

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

stupid europe
when i can control the weather, it will all be different.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)