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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morning wankstains.Now that Betty’s party weekend is over what’s your next excuse for a party/ piss up? Mine will be this Sunday when I turn 39. Suggestions please on how I should spend it (other than having sex with a member of my family).
Alt: I expect each of you wants to bore each other with tales of your bank holiday weekend. I personally couldn’t give a shit what you got up to, but if I don’t ask then some of you are bound to moan. So how was your weekend? Dull I expect.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 7:53,
181 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
was very dull here.I studied. a lot. I'm still studying now.
I didn't realise you were so Old Bats. You seem much younger.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:02, Reply)
Mentally I am younger. By about 35 years.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:14,
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A child trapped in a child's body.How apt.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:18,
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I bet he doesn't have to pay VAT on his clothes.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:19,
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He still gets his free school dinners(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:20,
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I was privately educated and there weren't any povvos. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:22,
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I was state educated.Unfortunatley that state was Malawi.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:24,
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Cor you're just like Prince Harry guvnor(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:25,
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What, the result of an extra marital affair and not the biological son of the bloke who claims to be my father?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:28,
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Despite the best private education in the world, no doubt with lashings of extra grinds and one on one tuition he still can't rub a d and an e together(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:31,
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The laughing stock of the whole nation.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:31,
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Faster than Usain Bolt.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:34,
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I'm looking forward to the trooping the colour shindig in less than two weeks time.Its party party party time for the royals, God bless'em.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:07,
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:13,
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To the tower!(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:15,
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As Prince Philip said to me the other day."I can't face 3 hours of brown nosing gobshites singing at me with their jungle music. I'll pretend I'm pissing razorblades, that'll get me off."
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:18,
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This has already been done old manBarry saw Prometheus
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:16,
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Ace of Base'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:17,
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Weeping uncontrollably for seven hours non-stop,followed by a grisly suicide on webcam. That's my recommendation.
Alt: Meh.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:19,
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Celebrate the Anna Nicole Smith wayAlt: Excellent thank you,
Saturday - Went to a beer festival, saw b3tans, went to a friend's leaving do.
Sunday - Saw my parents, went to Leeds with the missus
Monday - Met up with a friend and his girlfriend in Leeds, the 4 of us went for a drink together. After leaving them, we headed home and had a nice roast, before getting rather pissed and watching a film.
Tuesday - Made soup from the leftover chicken carcass (wanted to do this for a while), came home, had a quick pint, bed.
As you can see, not exactly busy, but an enjoyable weekend nonetheless.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:27,
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Is your mum better now?Only you said parents.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:35,
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Habit, I supposeI mean my Dad and Stepmum
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:36,
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I like Leeds.Were you drinking in Nation of Shopkeepers or at The Hop? Somehow can't see you out at Basics.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:39, Reply)
That's not still running is it? (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:41,
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*has yet another 'God I'm old' moment*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:48,
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We considered Nation Of Shopkeepers, but ended up going to Carpe Diem, as my friend fancied a bit of foodBefore that, it would have been Dry Dock, but as we were only going there for the outdoor bit, and the weather changed, we decided against it
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:44,
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39? Is that all? You're a mere stripling m'boy!If it were my 39th birthday I would spend the day drinking heavily and eating barbecued food. Also, you could take a stroll down memory lane through the medium of your music collection. THEN shag a family member.
Alt: Got massively drunk on Sunday, recovered on Monday, had a quiet day yesterday punctuated by some drinks with mates and an excellent steak dinner with my beloved G/F.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:29, Reply)
Have you been to Quazar recently? I fucking love quazar, it's painball for those who don't like pain.You can get 3 games for 20 people, and they'll give you a chocolate catipilla cake and a capri-sun each too (that's not a cake each, incase you misunderstood, one cake, but everyone gets their own capri-sun). I don't know how much it costs, but I can't imagine it being more expensive than going to Springfellas or Vegas.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:31,
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This looks pretty awesomewww.joystiq.com/2012/06/05/lego-city-undercover-demystified-in-e3-launch-trailer/
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:35,
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I spent most of it avoiding flag-waving cuntsFri - went to the gym, good start to the weekend
Sat - went to the gym, keeping up the good work. Then unfortunately got smashed and ate 10,000 cals at the Greek restaurant
Sun - went up to Gloucestershire with the ex for the day, where everything went further wrong when my innocent order of veggie lasagne turned out to be a slab of butternut squash and goats cheese vegetable lasagne that could have fed Italy - I managed about 1/3 of it - the skinny ex packed the rest away along with his roast. Amazing food if anyone is up that way and needs a rec. Then got smashed til 5.30am with him.
Mon - breakfast with ex, dropped him at work, went to barristers' party on roof terrace overlooking coldplay gig
Tue - went over to ex's, cooked fajitas and just chilled out til about midnight
Wed - overslept and am now procrastinating further
See, this is what happens when you ask questions without thinking or caring about the answers!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:37,
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You should have gone to Edinburgh. Hardly a flag in sight and no celebrations. Result. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:38,
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Slightly longer drive though I wanted to go abroad for the day, but literally every cunting city was raining!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:40,
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Was that really worth the effort? 1/10. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:54,
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Your posts are even more shit than usual this morning. I didn't think that was possible. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:58,
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She's a fucking idiot still clinging onto the folorn hope that if she tries hard enough he will stop being
a) a selfish and slightly unhinged narcissist and
b) a homosexual
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:43,
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I think you are an awful wanker.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:45,
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Of all the things I'd hate to be awful at, it would be that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:55,
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Imagine putting in all that practice only to still be rubbish.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:57,
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It's a sorry state of affairs.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:03,
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I'll take a guess, that no man believes he is rubbish at wanking.Probably no woman either.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:07,
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I bet a fair few people have claimed to be rubbish in order to get someone else to do it for them, though.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:13,
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My thoughts exactly!Either you're keeping him hanging on or vice versa.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:45, Reply)
:(In my defence I was supposed to have gone up north but had a row with my dad!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:46,
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Shirley a lady with your social circle could've blagged an invite somewhere.....Without having to grab the Gym-bunny (possibly gay but confirmed narcissistic) ex!
You could've come to the Midlands and watched Pooflake and me get monumentally pissed - gotta be better than Coldplay.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:02, Reply)
Captain you buttmunch!...Are you cocking orf to Manc land then today? to give those anorak-wearing pillheads a taste of your good old British spunk?
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:55,
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This weekendI interrupted a shopping trip to go to a spa. It doesn't get much more bent than that.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:45,
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Can anyone explain to mewhat the Olympic torch is doing in Dublin?
Have they run out of their own incendiary devices now or something?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:50,
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They're using the light it creates to help find some potatoes.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:53,
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Its only natural as so many of the workers were from there.Next stop is Warsaw.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:54,
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MorningI spent the weekend annoying people by being grumpy about the Jubilee. One of my oldest friends husbands defriended me on FB after saying how he wished 'all lefties would take their tatty jeans and dirty roll ups and fucking fuck off'. So that's pretty much how I plan to dress when we all get together in August.
I also saw Prometheus and it makes less sense than any film I have ever seen that wasn't trying to not make sense. What a crock of self important, po faced shit it was.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:54,
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Fuck me, I had a hard time working that one out.None so blind as those who wish not to see, and all that.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 8:57,
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You've been robbed of President Kinnockthat's got a ring to it you'll have to admit
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:05,
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He would've been a shoe inThat clan have done amazingly well out of all being non productive windbags
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:09,
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This is the biggest problem for a british republican.Who do you have as president / head of state?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:09,
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Presidency is pretty pointless.If they removed the majority of assets and kept the payroll down to the head of state and their immediate successor in title I don't believe anyone could have a legitimate gripe
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:13,
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Fucking hell that's a scary thought. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:25,
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battered for reaching things on lower shelves and then getting angry about it!(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:27, Reply)
poor kid always left with thirdsies on the wank mags cos he never had a chance to steal any from the newsagents(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:42,
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Ridley Scotso that he's too busy to make a sequel to Prometheus.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:24,
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Apparently not.judging by the interviews I've read.
Anyway, that presupposes that it has any direct relation to Alien, which apart from one pointless scene at the very end, it really doesn't have.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:28,
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Alien is shit.What a tedious pile of space-wank.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:34,
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It's really not.Although my problems with Prometheus have nothing to do with the fact that it's supposed to be related to Alien. They are to do with the fact that it's shoddily made, badly structured, poorly characterised, nonsensical horsehit that seems to think it's saying something profound but in reality is like one of those rambling idiots that stand outside shopiing centres waving a bible and saying things like 'All sins are equal in God's eyes, from stealing a bar of chocolate to raping a child'*
*verbatim from the fucker who stands at the top of Southend High Street.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:37,
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Haha scarpe reviews Star Wars !! lol(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:39,
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bobby was rambling about light sabres yesterdayhe's thirty
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:40,
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that's probably a bit old for his first light sabremuch darkness there is in him
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:41, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH GOLD !!!(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:44,
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hE'S LIVED LIFE MANAND BY THAT I MEAN HE'S PLAYED A LOT OF COMPUTER GAMES IN HIS ROOM
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:54,
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this is the very best way to get life experienceONLINE
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:04,
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Ha.I'm not as geeky as this is making me sound, I swear. It's just that it's genuinely bad, bad film making.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:46,
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It does, it has the presence of the space jcckeybut then it spoils it by not having the engineer die in his chair, which is how it was found in Alien.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Yeah, but it's set on a different bloody planet, so even that makes no sense.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
It is, it's given a different name in the film.Edit: I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and say that's just a continuity error, but it's a pretty fucking huge one if it is.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
or they just change the name of the planetor if you'd been paying attention you'd know it was a fucken MOON they went to
you'd be a lot more interesting with a pint inside you
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:01, Reply)
but scarpewhy don't all lefties take their tatty jeans and dirty roll ups and fucking fuck off?
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)
They've all been rounded up and used as slave labour as security for the pageant.and then 'disappeared'.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
If Liz or the Duke of Edinburgh die this Summer,it'll go down officially as the worst Summer ever for telly. Jubilee, Funeral(s), AND the fucking Olympics. Awful.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:45, Reply)
you forget euro footballalthough there will be some lolracism, which was missing from the Jubilee once the Duke went to Hospital
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:52,
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Wimbledon too,although this is a yearly torment. Andy Murray is the new Tim Henman. Although not as posh.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:55, Reply)
i'VE SEEN THE TRAILERIT WAS ACHINGLY BEAUTIFUL
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:48,
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Just like your mumI'm doing this wrong aren't I?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:51,
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I got a granite worktop for my kitchen over the weekend, one day my house will be as good as yours(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:56,
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Is it that bad? Was thinking of going this weekend, it may have to be Top Cat instead.(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Yeah I want to take my kid to see Top Cat.At least they haven't made the characters look or sound any different from the proper ones.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
No it's good, dunno what scarpe is banging on about.It doesn't answer all the questions it brings up but Fassbender is fucking amazing and it's worth watching just for his performance.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)
I'll give you that, yes, he's very good indeed. But he always is.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
he was pants in A dangerous method.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:01,
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It was, had it's moments, but not greatKnightly was mis-cast and maybe fasbender did all he could with the script, but it failed both as drama and as history.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
basically since he sobered up scarpe has found most things insufferably dullits to do with dopamine levels in his hypothalamus, they've depleted severely due to his alcohol dependence making him an incredibly dull and uninteresting prick
either that or the film is shit
(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:58, Reply)
My excuse will be when I arrive in Majorca tomorrow morningOur block's "street party" ran from 12 until 12 and involved much booze
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
can i put this on a wall somewhere? i fucking love itwww.yourdecoshop.co.uk/en/Shop/detail/Id/10161537/?typeGroup%5b%5d=Wallpaper&offset=0&
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:07,
Reply)
you know waht would be cool?actual helves with booze on them
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
party on saturday for my mate's birthdayalt: it was OK
I should be in work today as I have a pile of things to do, but instead I am here and trying to decide what to learn next on the guitar. Suggestions anyone? Anyone suggesting Oasis will be publicly flogged
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
hahathat is probably my level
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
You're Gonna Miss Me by the 13th Floor Elevators.Hey Joe is a good easy one. Wild Thing. You Really Got Me.
Fucking hell I don't know what you types are into, the theme tune from Lord of the Rings?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:19,
Reply)
I used to have the that 13th floor elevatorsas my ringtone
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
I have your mum doing a queef as my ringtone(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
Have you even seen the film of the same name?Fucking heartbreaking, it is, but very good.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:22,
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nopeI have never seen films people ask about
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:23,
Reply)
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(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)
'Do you know your cock and bollocks are hanging out of the front of your trousersand you have spunk dribbling on your shoes'?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:20,
Reply)
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(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)
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(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:24, Reply)
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(, Wed 6 Jun 2012, 10:23, Reply)
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