Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lets all fix the popular page by being all VERY WITTY.Choose your own subject.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:29, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I can't go on the popular pagethere's a post about moths on there :(
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:30,
Reply)
Hopefully after this thread a whole new popular page will be available xxx(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I think you're witty too. But I think you're shit for quoting 1984 in your sig.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:45, Reply)
I used to have the first line as my sigWhat's wrong with 1984 anyway?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:46,
Reply)
SOMETHING ABOUT A SHIT BAND/TV PROGRAM/EVENT FROM THE YEAR 1984(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:47,
Reply)
It's fucking terrible.I loathe it. It is honestly the worst book I have ever read, and I've read ALL the twilight books.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:52, Reply)
I think you and I are going to fall out, Poppet.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:53,
Reply)
I might even stop touching myself when I'm reading her posts.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:00,
Reply)
I can't seem to get on the popular pagedespite my pictures being much funnier than Battereds.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:31, Reply)
The popular page would suggest your pictures are not funnier. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:32,
Reply)
Or that the popular page is controlled by a shadowy cabal of diminutive food critics operating out of a the smoky back room of a doll's shed(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:33, Reply)
What new users?Oh man, this is worse than I thought.
Can someone have a word with them, tell them they've got me all wrong, I'm fine, it's them that are stupid cunts.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I can't believe they're being so mean to meI saw bjspx on saturday, she ate my burgers and potato salad and this is how she repays me.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Are you upset that more people voted for you than me in the shit poll?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:33,
Reply)
you weren't even on it.www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1695764
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)
10% voted for me?Oh baby, the things I could do to you with a coathanger.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Didn't even feature pal. Well Done you.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:35,
Reply)
Cheers mate. Touch wood, going well.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:40,
Reply)
I've been cutting myself ever sinceMy legs looks like a pork joint before roasting
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
Don't worry, my comment on Monty taking the magic out of everything that's not a mushroom didn't make it either.(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)
I clicked that.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:47,
Reply)
my subject is American 'Blank Generation' fiction.And 'alternative' culture.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)
I think I peaked with the subliminal Pat Bateman references.Anyway, when have you ever known me to be witty?
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:38, Reply)
You've pitched this thread too high.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:38,
Reply)
OH nice one.Now the next poor cunt that plays will find half the pieces missing.
Selfish prick.
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:41,
Reply)
What kind?I'm doing fish fingers and potato animal shapes tonight. It's teh kind of poverty dinner I can imagine Monty having to eat, but I do it out of choice and therefore it's fun and "ironic"
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)
I had onions olives mushrooms and spicy beef.Baroness had pepperoni, peppers and jalepenoes. Both medium
We swapped a quarter with each other.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Now this thread is starting to come alive.Also, I don't understand your sex slang.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
that's effectively a marriage proposalyou could have Dominos at the reception
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:45,
Reply)
i never get invited to anything :((
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:46,
Reply)
That's cos no one likes you.Don't worry, they never invite me either, although I like to think that it's purely a distance thing in my case.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)
That's pretty generous.I left the mrs have a slice of mine, and then I finish off hers because she never eats a whole pizza.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Is she massively fat? You know, orca fat?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:50,
Reply)
Bad luck that was a trick question, you were supposed to answer "she will always be beautiful to me no matter what she weighs"You're dumped, turn to page 558
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:54,
Reply)
Nah I think I'm ok.Bonus context news link www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19180983
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)
Excel Question:I have a filtered column with numbers in, I want to add up the list, but it adds the entire column including those hidden rows. How do I stop it being spastic.
Yours excitedely NA
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:04,
Reply)
What column have you filtered and what's it filtered bywhat column are you summing up?
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:14, Reply)
It's a looooong column of figuresIt has a drop down filter which i've used to only show figures from Company X. I want to add these
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:17,
Reply)
Well seeing as you didn't answer my questions.If the company name is in column A and the numbers you want to add up are in column b, this would work
=SUMIF(A:A,"Company X",B:B)
Filters are for losers.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Oh soz, no all in one columnFilters are imperitive I have more than 4,000 rows
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:24,
Reply)
How do you mean all in one column?like this
company A
fig A
Company B
Fig B
etc?
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Or so that they're in the same cellso
company A, £3000
company B, £2300
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:28, Reply)
done it by hand now....it's a list of numbers in column N, I have added a filter to another column so only compnay A's results show in column N, but running a sum across all tyeh visible cells in column N adds up the now hidden cells as weel, whcih is bent.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:31,
Reply)
Well you could have just changed the formular I gave youto =SUMIF(#FILTERED COLUMN#,"#FILTERED BY#",N:N)
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Is that one row for each individual customer of the particular supermarket branch whose data you are analysing?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:26,
Reply)
what excel formulas do use to make girls like me?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
=IF("age"<18, SIN(), STDEV())?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:42,
Reply)
SORT (yourself, out)or:
ROUNDUP, COUNTIF RANK, IF NOT LARGE, GETPIVOTDATA, IMCONJUGATE.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:30, Reply)
OH COME OVER HERE AND POST MY LINKS EH?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:20,
Reply)
If it's not broken,why fix it? is there a new QOTW today? I'm really excited about that.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:40, Reply)
i can't work under this extreme pressure(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:44,
Reply)
that's surprising considering how much you enjoy being full of seamen(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:21,
Reply)
I had three days off work this weekAnd used the time to slow roast some pork. I used Tumeric, Cumin, Garlic, Fennel Seeds, Pepper, Rock Salt and Onion Powder. I then slow roasted it in Rum and White Wine Vinegar for TWENTY SIX FUCKING HOURS!
It fell to pieces and was fucking delicious.
For lunch I had some shit fish or something, the weight is falling off but the food is boring as fuck
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Peej, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:45,
Reply)
26 hours?How hot was your over? It must have been barely above room temperature.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:48, Reply)
Oh I dunno, really lowI stuck it in at 5 in the afternoon and ate it a 7pm the next day. It was probably ready before then I just ignored it until I wanted to eat it, I have some for dinner tonight, It really is excellent.
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Peej, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:50,
Reply)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19193973
West Yorkshire Police - "Ummm have you tried looking under the bed?"
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Peej, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:49,
Reply)
oh gosh I wonder if one of her paedo tracksuit tattooed unemployed skank family are responsible for raping and murdering her and throwing her into a bush(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:52,
Reply)
Weren't they questioning her grandmother's boyfriend last night?Also, whose grandmother has a boyfriend?
It's a different world these people live in alright.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:57,
Reply)
It's cauuuuunnnncillll innit, her grans 39(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:59,
Reply)
The locals have been apparently breaking into lock ups to look for her.best of british right there.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)
We could make like the Twitterattiand do hashtags. Recent examples include #SponsoredBooks (personal favourite - Warburton's and PC World) and #RejectedParalympicEvents (eg Polio Vault, Cripple Jump, Running)
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)
I think #popularwill be fine, i don't want to see arrogant
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 12:55,
Reply)
You're so off my Christmas card list.Paying for drinks on credit tonight, then. I always feel like a bit of a pikey doing that.
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:05,
Reply)
How much did they take?I got angry when mine happened as The banks systems couldn't work out that I could not be in Fulham and Dussledorf AT THE SAME TIME.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:06,
Reply)
Nothing, luckily.I think my bank caught it before they tried using it. Means I'm without access to my account for a week, though. This is because I've lost my cheque book and therefore can't go over the counter.
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:08,
Reply)
Slough is apparently the card cloning crime capital of the UK or some such nonsensewhen mine was cloned a few months ago all the transactions were in Slough. Buying phone topup cards, and a bus ticket to Stockport. I actually felt sorry for the poor bastard after that.
Also, your bank is fucking retarded if they won't let you go in with the defunct card and some ID and get cash out over the counter.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Doris on the phone said I needed my chequebook and a form of photo IDThe only thing that was stopped was my book order, so it's not the end of the world.
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:13,
Reply)
It's because phone top-ups are processed in SloughI asked about that when my debit card was cloned. The transactions could be anywhere but phone top-ups show as Slough.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:14,
Reply)
This does not detract from my inference that Slough is a scum-ridden hole.(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)
I won't argue with that(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:28,
Reply)
That's why I'm not arguing(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:43,
Reply)
I wasn'tunless of course you are single handedly responsible for Slough being the aforementioned card crime UK capital? I doubt you would be buying date drinks on your Mastercard if this was the case.
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
I saw my first ever mugging in Slough, broad daylight outside of the train stationa group of lads surrounded, jostled and shouted at a girl and ripped her handbag away. She was really shaken up, so I slipped her one to take her mind of things, then the police came and gave me a medal and said I could keep a police car which i then used to fight crime
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:29,
Reply)
Do you still have the card?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:06,
Reply)
He should make some extravagant purchases and then be all like"yeah, and they bought a cheese hamper from Fortnum and Mason and Saville row trousers, the cheeky shits...oh yes, my arse does look great in these thanks for noticeing"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:07,
Reply)
I think this'll turn out to be one of those"Haha, we just lost a bunch of peoples' data, woops, best pretend they've been defrauded lol" situations
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Kroney, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:09,
Reply)
I was looking for a strikethrough(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:45,
Reply)
Frankie Jones is representing Team GB in the rhythmic gymnasticsTurns out it's not in fact DJ Jah Frankie Jones but is in fact a small Welsh woman, which I think you'll agree improves our chances in the event. Although he would probably have riddum.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:02,
Reply)
Riddim gymnasticsThat's the one where they prance about with ribbons, hula hoops, a ball, and juggling clubs.
I'll have a watch, and hope that one of them drops something on her head or trips herself up with her own ribbon.
I need a laugh.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:23,
Reply)
Adjusted by population we're 9th in the medals standingmoshayedi.net/london2012/
But we're beating the US. Devil in Tights will no doubt be happy that by this metric Denmark are beating us.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:30,
Reply)
I'd like to see the results by GDP, total investment in Sport and underlying national bentness please(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
I'm listening to the new album by Teutonic thrash metal legends KreatorMy office smells faintly like orange since I left orange peel in the bin and forgot to empty it two days ago.
What are you listening to and what does you're room smell like?
(, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:25, Reply)
I'm listening to Avenged Sevenfold and the office I'm in today smells of nothing at all reallybut there are quite a lot of fitties
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:25,
Reply)
I'm watching trailer park boys whilst semi revising.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:32,
Reply)
Can you not remember how to nonce small children off the top of your head?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:35,
Reply)
DespairTo both questions.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 13:33,
Reply)
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