Hymens & Sweaty Haemorroids


Who fancies a glass of wine and a chat?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:54, Reply)

*huggles*
Hello you!

Was top to see you on Saturday!

*accepts wine gratefully*
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 18:58, Reply)

I've done 3 poos today
and managed to slightly stain DG's boxers. (He doesn't know that yet, I snuck them straight in the laundry basket.)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:00, Reply)

allo!
I'll saunter in with a beer, if that's ok. Says, slainte.

*still has not rung airline*
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:01, Reply)

How bizarre
so have I.

That's well weird.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:01, Reply)

*waves to Beekers*
Hello sweetheart! Eeh, what a grand weekend out that were :o)

How's your good self?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:01, Reply)

Report from The Car
Captain V is reading and enjoying the fact he has been spared Kaol on the return journey. Wookiee is providing airborne haggis remains and excellent driving. I am trying not to abuse my powers of veto. All very blue about the end of our trip and discussing some of the logistics of next year's Easter Bash.

What a treat seeing you all :)
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:03, Reply)

*chinks glasses with cackers*
Lic, do you suppose we could be bottom buddies?

*sniggers at the word bottom*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:03, Reply)

*squeals*
Hello!

Lovely to see you on Saturday!

*huggles*

Ooh, wine, lovely - thank you!

*sips gratefully*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:04, Reply)

I am staying off the booze for at least a week because I am good to my liver.
I have to say that I had a fantabulous time and I miss everyone already.


I will definitely be going back to Edinburgh at some point to do the tourist thing more thoroughly.

The Loon wants to come as soon as he can but it may be difficult. We're thinking of some sort of swapsies with the merkins for an Englishman over here that they might want. Any suggestions?
( big-girl's-baubles is tired of fighting the inevitable, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:04, Reply)

Let's change the subject
I'm not German, you know.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:05, Reply)

*snogs Clendrix*
*licks Wookie & Capt V*

Yep, it was awful to end the weekend. I've already signed up for next Easter :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:06, Reply)

I'm fine thanks
Back in Leeds and just had tea.

Bit sad about it all being over and back to work tomorrow though:(
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:06, Reply)

Wookie, Clendrix
/enormous hugs.

listening to cheesy late-60's pop, drinking beer, and procrastinating sorting travel arrangements.

*yawn* it's not like I have a job. or a fucking care in the world.

escapes Travelodge Gulag for a smoke....
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:08, Reply)

*hugs HLT*
I shall be slipping in and out for a while, as I'm busy cooking nice Greek food (as opposed to big bucket of jizz Greek food).
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:08, Reply)

Evening all!
That's a funny thing, Light - I'm not German either.

Although I did live there for a bit as a nipper.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:11, Reply)

Evening!
Sorry I couldn't make the Edinbash thing. Couldn't get the coach ticket thing, or the money. Congratulations on the wedding though! The whole bash thing sounds like it was great fun, and with a recent wedding as well - must have been awesome :)
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:15, Reply)

Cackers, you're hilarious...
When are you going back?
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:17, Reply)

Fredz
Fair to say it has been an excellent week, and it's not over yet - big party on Thursday to look forward to :)
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:17, Reply)

Clenders
You guys got much further to travel?

Bloody good to see everyone over the weekend. I think b3ta bashes should be replaced by b3ta weekends. It makes sense to me!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:19, Reply)

Cool!
Nothing like a good party, especialy with this weather. How is everyone anyway? Been a while since I've properly been on OT.
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:20, Reply)

I think
that many regulars are still in transit or tired or both, or still away (such as spak who's making a week of it).

Or, in the cae of Kaol, fantasising about his enormous sword...

What about your good self?
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:24, Reply)

@ DG
We would have liked to have stayed later but we had to catch the last bus back.

Still a bloody top do!
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:25, Reply)

@ Clendrix
No fucking idea. Just getting off of my ass right now to have that cigarette.
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Ahh, yes - probably a pretty big jouney for a lot of people.
I'm ok, just listening to some music and contemplating some wine and a film later. A mate of mine's girlfriend just had a kid, and I think the christening is in a few months, so I'll be getting some form of gift and showing my face. Silver is traditional for christenings, right?
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Hey DG you lovely man!
We've not got much further to Slough, but then V has to drive another couple of hours and Wookiee and I have to get into London. Long trip - glad it was worth it :D
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:27, Reply)

Have you been in a car
ALL DAY?!
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:29, Reply)

I believe so, Fredz
Or quicklime...

Clendrix - definitely worth it (and nice for me to attend a bash that didn't involve a long journey for a change).

Yesterday in the park was a fucking hoot. Ask Dok about the Spider-Man glove next time you see him...
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:31, Reply)

DG
The next Easter bash is Cornwall - and not major city Cornwall either.

Still, you can fly Newcastle - Plymouth...
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:36, Reply)

I miss everyone heaps now that I *know* you're all real
And next time I'm bloody well going to have a drink.

What is this next year's bash of which you speak?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:36, Reply)

Next Easter's Bash
is on the calendar, but I figure I have a bit of time before I have to start fixing the finer details :)
It will all depend on how many attend.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:39, Reply)

hmmm. Silver and quicklime
A small silver pot of quicklime? Heh. I shall be turning up to the next bash, hopefuly - as long as I get the cash. It'd be realy cool to meet you all in the flesh, you're all pretty cool on the internets at least!
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:39, Reply)

kcufing midgies!
Worst feature of spring. *clinks* Tourette's. Says, *Greek Food* noms!
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:41, Reply)

ahhhhhhhhh
*looks*

*finds*

*signs up*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:41, Reply)

I'm wondering if it might be worth
someone contacting the Cornish Tourist Board and saying, "we want a venue that'll hold 40-50 people with a bar and sufficient accomodation on the premises or nearby" and let them do the donkeywork.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:51, Reply)

Good idea
I don't suppose we could invade Devon for a bit, could we?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:54, Reply)

LiC
What a splendid idea. I've just cottoned on to your reply way up there ^.
Have you had 3 poos today or have you tainted DG's boxers too?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:54, Reply)

The problem with April bashes...
...is that in my line of work April is the busiest month of the year, holiday requests are usually denied until year end is sorted out.

I was gutted I couldn't make Edinburgh.
(PJM Does not love Liberace, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:57, Reply)

I AM the Cornish Tourist Board
and much as I'm having doubts about taking English friends to the nation of my birth, it'll all be fine :)
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:57, Reply)

If noone is busy in July!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19197

*pimpage*
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:58, Reply)

Tourettes
3 poos. It must be Poosday.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:01, Reply)

*hugs PJM*
There's Tightly's stag bash in June and ancrenne's birthday bash in August...

We drank for and to you and chickenlady several times over the weekend :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:01, Reply)

June & Aug
Sound much better to me, although there are a lot of people I missed out on meeting over the w/e.

I hope to be able to catch up with everyone I've missed soon. Your text updates had us both in stitches Tourettes, we enjoyed the photos too, especially the buggering bunnies!
(PJM Does not love Liberace, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:03, Reply)

the buggering bunnies
were down to Sweary Jr.
He's my boy, alright. He beat my mother at scrabble last week with "quim" - landing Q on a triple letter score and the whole thing on a triple word score...

*prouds*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:06, Reply)

He's a nice lad he is...
... I remember meeting him briefly before I dashed off for that interview a few months back.

Yep, chip off the old block and all

*doffs cap*
(PJM Does not love Liberace, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:08, Reply)

Chip off the old block indeed...
He's even inherited her timekeeping ability and sense of urgency!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:16, Reply)

I miss everyone already
*cries* I do, however, now know where Lab lives *evil laugh*

Whenever Duckie gets back from his travels I may have to see him to get a minib3ta fix
( I saw Al kissing Santa Claus before doing it reindeer style under the tree, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:16, Reply)

Well Badgerface!
You could come and see me in July.

*4th July - birthday drinkies*
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:18, Reply)

PJM
Yup, I'm rather fond of him myself. I've just passed on your appreciation of his butter-bunny-buggering and he says "thankyou" and "hello" to you. He did like you and the lovely chickenlady :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:20, Reply)

4th July
is the anniversary of when Pat Garrett shot Billy The Kid.
Excuse me, I must away to my kitchen to tend to the dinner.
See y'all later!

*waves*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:22, Reply)

If anyone likes
things going really really really fast into other things check out some Mythbuster mayhem! www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSVfYwdGSsQ
( I saw Al kissing Santa Claus before doing it reindeer style under the tree, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:23, Reply)

things going really really fast into other things?
repeatedly?

*sniggers*

edit: bye tourettes! *snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:29, Reply)

Evening all
Many people seem to have returned. Woot.
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:36, Reply)

I've just watched "Taken", with that there Liam Neeson in it
It's a surprisingly fun film in which he seriously fucks some shit up.

In other news, i'm painting skirting boards. It's tricky as we have a varnished floor so not getting emulsion on the ground is a priority.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:41, Reply)

Masking tape, Al?
It's the answer to a large percentage of life's problems.
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:43, Reply)

Crying babies...
just one of many.

My favourite 'things going very fast into other things' moment.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:48, Reply)

I would try masking tape
but it's not really reliable enough, you end up with the occasional blob, and that's one blob too many as the mrs will be highly dissaproving if I fuck this up.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:48, Reply)

Hmm, a compelling argument
How about finger painting?
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:49, Reply)

How about finger painting
with your mum?
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:55, Reply)

But
She doesn't have any fingers :(

Also, everyone else seems to have run away since I arrived...
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:56, Reply)

I'm still here
hello Pod, hello Al.

Al, keep a cotton wool ball soaked in baby oil handy, then if you do get emulsion on the varnished floor, you can wipe it up like spunk off of a pvc apron.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:59, Reply)

that's becuase you smell
sorry, just telling it like it is.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:59, Reply)

I like the thought of HLT in PVC
I also like the combination of spunk, pvc and hlt.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Evening all!
Was lovely to meet you all at the bash. Somehow, I thought you'd all be younger.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:03, Reply)

Helloooooo!
I'm home from Camp B3ta. It was lovely, even the poison gas and injuries.

How are things here?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:05, Reply)

Hey Ancrenne!
Back to work tomorrow so a bit meh.

Was a great weekend though. Lovely to see everyone again!
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:06, Reply)

It's been quiet, Ancrenne
A bit too quiet.....

You had fun in that there Scotland then?
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:07, Reply)

things smell strongly of white spirit
I'm concerned that is why I have a headache. Or it could be the load music.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:07, Reply)

Going by your spelling
I think you may have had a stroke. I may well be wrong though.
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:09, Reply)

load music Al?
Music to shit to?

PoD - it was fucking brilliant. love Scotland, love rob for making b3ta, love whoever made the interweb, and most of all love b3tans. Well, the nice ones.

cats are destroying the house in an effort to get my attention, I'm all about the b3ta now I'm home though.

EDIT - fuck - just turned the telly on and there's someone with their hand up a horses arse. Feels like the weekend isn't over yet!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:10, Reply)

ancrenne!
*pounces*

*smooshes*

poison gas? Ohhhh... you mean tourettes. Haha!

@al - well, that's the last time I offer you any DIY tips. Not that you need any.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:11, Reply)

sorry
had white spirit on my hands and I didn't want to edit that.

I presume the edinbash was successful then?
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:14, Reply)

Tulip!
*bounces*

Smashing to meet you pet, and your lovely lesbian shirt. How are you after your giant bash success?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:14, Reply)

Oh God I just remembered the matching shirts
And of course, Spakka's shoes. Oh dear God.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:16, Reply)

Oooh a bounces!
It was smashing to meet you miss 'crenne! And to wipe my dylan moran hand all over your norks!

and it was a fucking awesome bashy bash *glees*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:17, Reply)

What were spakkas shoes like then?
Has anyone posted pictures yet?
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:18, Reply)

ooh, the dylan moran hand
It was a norktastic weekend really.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:20, Reply)

No pics yet al
Spakka's shoes looked like ninja turtle's feet.

And he was wearing a 2 Unlimited jacket.
With no discernible trace of irony.
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:20, Reply)

They were, once upon a time, white trainers with a Pacman logo on them
Now, they are much faded memories of their former selves. Oh, and I thought I'd direct you lot to this, for the song. And perhaps if you happen to like cats as well:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVmQ_B7M0WI

/Edit

Oh God, I forgot about the jacket. Someone really needs to drag him clothes shopping by the scruff of his neck.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:21, Reply)

it was a jolly super jacket
and I just want to say, DG did a splendid job discovering a highly suitable bash venue for us.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:24, Reply)

Aww
I is getting sadder and sadder at my missing of bashage. Boooos.
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:26, Reply)

"Jolly super"??
You've been playing too much hockey my lass. Still, many thanks to DG for that. I shall indeed be heading to Edinburgh later in the year. Probably bring some mates with me for a bit of fun and to drag them on the Underground tour.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:27, Reply)

I was a little worried by the description
of it only holding a few people. I take it that wasn't a problem?
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:27, Reply)

Nah not really
Plenty of room for all. We even had room for a naughty step.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:28, Reply)

don't worry PoD
there will be other bashes.

It was quite a cosy venue as it happens but I don't think it would have held us if all the people who signed up had come.

I must ring the manager and thank him for letting us maraud about in his place of worship.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:31, Reply)

How many turned up?
Rough estimate?
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:33, Reply)

Ummm...
20?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Indeed not
The actual pub was fairly large, it was just the 'back area' that was booked that wasn't huge - but more than adequate for the occasion!

Evening daughter of mine. Glad to see you got home safely!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:34, Reply)

evening all
as you were

what's this I read about next Easter's bash being in Cornwall?

I tend to be in Cornwall most Easters anyway....
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:34, Reply)

We marauded by drinking plenty of his fine beers
so i'm sure he';ll be fine.

Hello Dad! back fine thanks, looooooooooooong drive but hey, I've never been scared of length ;)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:36, Reply)

Good to hear
Am about to eat - your mother's in the kitchen sorting proper Greek food out.

I reckon there were closer to 25 there on the night.

Vipros - check Clendrix's profile for bash details.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:42, Reply)

Cornwall? West Country? Ooo-ar...
20 is quite a lot less than signed up. Good old us with our variety of excuses.
(ReindeerOfDeath wants a holiday on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:42, Reply)

What?
There were beers?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:43, Reply)

Aw, got her in the kitchen again then?
barefoot and cooking? and farting
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:43, Reply)

@tulip
I don't know, I was on the cider! ;)
(Boss Keloid Has 16 days off! Wooo!, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 21:45, Reply)

Crap, did
you steal the thread killer hat?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:02, Reply)

Yegads
The bash calendar's gone a bit nuts. Mellicious has her bash up there now, as do BK, and our bash in June... blimey.

*Zaps off to eat bhuna*
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:03, Reply)

Ooh
www.pierhousehotel.com/weddings_and_functions_in_cornwall.htm
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:13, Reply)

Evening all
Seems like everybody is in a good mood, all bash-related it seems.

*makes mental note to go to another bash sometime*

Is it just me, or was the Pink Panther cartoon an absolute load of rubbish? The Pink Panther wasn't cool and those weird all-white men were just weird.
(GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:17, Reply)

It was very 70s
If you were high they made perfect sense.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:20, Reply)

100
Woohoo.
( wanderlust jar making ginger cake?, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:24, Reply)

LUSTY!!
The only thing that would have made this weekend better would have been you being there.

Found any nice mounties yet?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:27, Reply)

Hello ancrenne!
I haven't found any mounties yet :(

I have however, met some of the most bizarre people in the world. I seem to attract them.

It sounds like the bash was lots of fun. I wish I could have been there but the atlantic got in the way!
( wanderlust jar making ginger cake?, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:30, Reply)

the bizarre people are by and away
the most fun.

damn that Atlantic and it's soggyness! Twas indeed a very fine time :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 22:32, Reply)

Is this a borked thread I see before me..?
And the funny thing is, it wasn't even me!

or Dok Minge
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:37, Reply)

Lusty!
*hugs*
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:49, Reply)

Or anyone else for that matter
Still alive. I'm picking out my bashes for the next year now. Who knows, I might be driving to the next Easter bash?
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:50, Reply)

cackers!
Where have you got to you smashing internet wierdo?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:53, Reply)

holding down the fort in the west end
should have called my airline by now, but has been fucking about and enjoying some beer.

hope you had a good trip home.
( cackers negative capability, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:58, Reply)

Hold on...
Am I persona non grata all of a sudden?

*Jumps up and down for attention like a 5 year old*
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 23:59, Reply)

PB
Hello! Not *png*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:01, Reply)

yay cackers
glad you're keeping the home fires burning.

Not sure what to say to that piston. i'd normally offer a five year old some colouring to do. want a crayon?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:02, Reply)

Is it midnight already?
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I should so be in bed.

You not on a plane yet then, cackers?
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:03, Reply)

Is said crayon edible?
I have a case of the mad munchies for some reason. Odd, considering I haven't touched pot for over 8 months now.

Shame. I will have to obtain some for my next house bash.

/Edit

I was wondering what was happening there, wondering if I was about as popular as one of Tourette's farts. And then I remembered I didn't actually offend anyone at the bash. Which is frankly brilliant for me.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:04, Reply)

Was good to meet you Tourettes and DG!
Was also a great weekend, even if Dok borked himself. The silly old codger.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:04, Reply)

CaptainInnuendo?
I'm not sure I recall your presence at the Saturday bash.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:06, Reply)

Piston.
You were either too drunk or too busy leering over the malefolk.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:07, Reply)

I hear that crayons can be very tasty
The red ones taste like strawberry, apparently.

Which is a shame, because if I found myself locked in a crayola factory I would probably die.

Because I fucking detest strawberry.




/May contain traces of lie.



/Like crayons being edible.




/And tasting of strawberry.




/Well, the red ones anyway.




/The rest's true. I hate strawberries.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:07, Reply)

I don't wanna
go to bed. It'll mean b3tatiem is really over :(

*sads*

Errr.. anything is edible...once.


EDIT - Daaaaaaaaad, that was a Dad joke! hahaha :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:08, Reply)

@DG
Not on the plane; didn't make it this morning. Some illness took place Sunday; keeping me awake and vigilant.

*I wasn't sick*
*No psychologists were consulted*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:11, Reply)

Cackers
Missed the plane eh? While nursing MY MAN I bet!
(Ethelred likes his own webhosting services, do you?, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:14, Reply)

Shush Captain
You'll make the poor girl blush.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:15, Reply)

Oh is that what they call it now?
*Fnaaarrr fnaaarrr*

*Goes to bed giggling like a dirty old Herr Doktor Lemminge man.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:16, Reply)

not possible
doesn't blush at anything. remember the tampon beer mats?

ha, I've just violated the non-smoking policy of this hotel once more. now that there's only one chimney it seems less risky, despite prior warnings.

*incorrigable*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:19, Reply)

hahahaha
cackers you brilliant woman!

making me laugh like I'm still there.

sickboy looked less deathly white on arriving at london. Your nursly ministrations must have helped a lot :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:22, Reply)

He still stank though
Smelt him from where I was sat!
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:23, Reply)

smelly, yes
But to the *shameless* it's just part of his charm!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:28, Reply)

cackers is indeed brilliant
as is bill, the hairy wee monkey!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:30, Reply)

I must say
His Musk is one to die for.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:31, Reply)

Or indeed his musket
So I'm told, anyway.

Much like Kaol's sword, minus the sharp edges.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:32, Reply)

Oi!
Mine!

*sorts scheme to charge for sniffies*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:34, Reply)

If it was sharp
Chelsea Smiles would be far and wide (pardon the non-intentional pun)
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:34, Reply)

blimey
i go away for two minutes and come back to filth

*feels at home*
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:35, Reply)

Rubs filth on Ancrenne
That should help *theatrical wink*
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:36, Reply)

Oi!
That's my daughter you're rubbing. You could have asked my permission first you filthy noob.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:37, Reply)

Ooh, hello captain
we've only just met and already we are sharing nicely.

EDIT - thanks Dad. His intentions certainly seem dishonourable.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:37, Reply)

I need no permission
I've got your wife's blessings.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:37, Reply)

musk, it
Cheers, DG. That just put me into a coma of hysterics. *impossible as that might seem*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:38, Reply)

cackers
no more sick people! bashes are not supposed to be fatal!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:39, Reply)

Fatal?
Thats boring, prolong the suffering I say!
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:42, Reply)

*squeals*
*licks ancrenne & Ethelred*

*farts with excitement*

Hello smashing lovelies! Ethel, I made proper Greek food tonight - would you like some? I feel awful and guilty about that pap we endured the other night.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:51, Reply)

indeed!
Only sick minds shall be permitted going forward!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:52, Reply)

Tourettes!
It was worked out at the weekend that your bottom could be the beginnings of a perpetual energy machine.

Impulse (for the after) and Repulse - it's better than a buttered cat!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:54, Reply)

I did hear about
those lamb shanks Tourettes, truly bland.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:54, Reply)

Hmmm...
I remember discussing Kaol's theory involving a Zeppelin and offering my perpetual gas, should his idea "take off".
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:56, Reply)

Ideas like that
often blow my mind.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:58, Reply)

Hahaha :)
you are the energy of the future my sweetheart :)

Cackers - that's more like it. Filth, fury and rabid frenzies.

dammit i'm getting tired :(
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:58, Reply)

partners in filth

Snuggles to Ancrenne and Tourette's, who must share a recipe or two at some stage.
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:59, Reply)

L-plate Capt
Tender was the nicest thing to say about them. Really they were a big bucket of jizz. Come over for dinner one night and I'll do you proper Kleftiko. Tasty, tender meat, although I'm afraid I can't make it spin ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 0:59, Reply)

*snuggles cackers & ancrenne*
*farts*

Sorry....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:01, Reply)

Tasty, tender meat?
Never a finer offer than that.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:02, Reply)

*shrieks*
my intermaweb and laptop just borked spectacularly. From all fine to white screen and no happy whirring noises.

I mended it with a 'turn it off and on again' (what my friend calls a 'HARD off', tourettes) but christ it was scary.

What sort of recipes cackers? Mine often involve

cider
blackcurrant

mix

drink

Accomopany with cigarettes to taste

hic
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:06, Reply)

meats

**beefy**

With all credit to Spankyhanky, comedic genius.

*joins Tourette's with a rousing burst of rear combustion*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:08, Reply)

I just read that too cackers
the man is a dangerous genius
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:09, Reply)

my recipes
mostly involve meat and methane.

"You Tarzan...... Me Thane"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:11, Reply)

oh fuck
tourettes :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:13, Reply)

excellent

Tourette's - I nearly lost some beer over that pun! Good thing I'm experienced at making sure it doesn't go to waste.

Ancrenne, that post of Spanky's is my all-time favorite. *all hail B3ta* filth, fury, flatulence, fierce women. Oh, and panty-sniffers, too.
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:16, Reply)

panty-sniffers you say?
would that include panty-sniffers of disco minge?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:26, Reply)

You rang?
*sniffs*
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:29, Reply)

my laugh muscle
is very nearly borked again :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:30, Reply)

I didn't ring
but I can do ming ;o)

*rolls over for belly rub*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:32, Reply)

don't rub too hard
some sweetcorn landmarks might come out

EDIT - Tourettes, greek for bucket is

bucket = κουβάς, κάδος, καταπονώ, κουράζω, or koubas, kados, katapono, kourazo
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:32, Reply)

one can never
rub too hard

*collapses into more giggles*

I do hope I haven't put you off sweetcorn.
Could I offer sweatcorn as an alternative?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:33, Reply)

disco minge!
Bejeezus, I might just have a seizure. *the pain*

*smokes again, hotel be damned*
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:34, Reply)

Damn
I thought they were nut bars.

*continues chomping*
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:34, Reply)

sweatcorn
god help us all

edit - i hesitate to ask but where the hell does sweatcorn come from?

cackers, if it's the same hotel as last night, you might as well make the £150 fine worth and smoke fistfuls

i said fist. that's rude
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:35, Reply)

Oh God!
It gets worse!

I am soooo sorry for my wife's behaviour this evening. I shall give her a good seeing to, you mark my words.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:38, Reply)

I expected her to be under strict control
but the sort of control exercised by a dalek buying dandy is destined to fail methinks
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:39, Reply)

no hope for us
We are all going to hell. First round's on me!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:40, Reply)

we have to pay in hell?
is there not some sort of perpetual fountain of joyous alcohol flowing all over everywhere?
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:42, Reply)

I couldn't control her
If I tried. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Apart from the flatulence. That has to go
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:43, Reply)

found it! the object of our plans!
www.microwrestling.com/


there's a video and everything. We need to start saving up.

edit - oh god, they have a deposit centre. I just broke myself with that.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:43, Reply)

perhaps you are right

Surely we can just drink for free. You could always flash your bra! That'd do it!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:46, Reply)

cackers
i find it difficult not to under normal circumstances, so shouldn't be a problem.

edit - I am in considerable pain from laughing so hard, i think i'd better get myself off to sleep. (tourettes, make of that what you will)

it's been special :) love you all you smashing, odd, wonderful people
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:49, Reply)

ancrenne

I think I love you! *count me in* best idea, ever!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:51, Reply)

Micro wrestling!!!
Oh christ I remember pissing myself laughing on Monday as Ethel read different bits from the website.

All b3ta bashes in future should have micro wrestling as an hors-deuvres.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:52, Reply)

Goodnight daughter
Mother IS SMOKING A FAG.

I think he's enjoying it. He may well turn...
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:53, Reply)

*bork*

Last one here? Win/win! Gah, must I sort my travel now? Think not. Tomorrow is another day. G'night all you lovely pervs!
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 1:57, Reply)

Goodnight cackers!
*blows kisses*

*sings sweaty lullabies*

*wakes Cackers up with glass-breaking songs*

Just noticed the time. I'd best be off to me scratcher too. Sweet/sweaty dreams all! (delete as appropriate)

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 2:14, Reply)

ah, TY Tourette's

Unbelievably I am in the hotel carpark with all of the other lodgers. Fire alarm!
*hopes is not my fault*

LOL came downstairs to ring my brother and enjoy some sanctioned tobacco. Then chaos ensued. Fire brigade is here! Fortunately had my wooly scarf, because there's a young lass nearby with a terrible cold.
( cackers negative capability, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 3:06, Reply)