inspiration please
An enormous tin of tuna has materialised in my kitchen.

When I say enormous, I mean, really fucking enormous, as in 1.3 kilos of fucking tuna in one can and it says "consume within two days" on the label...

I've already used it to pretend I'm really really small.

What else can I do with it?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:33, Reply)

Tuna fight!
To the death.
( big-girl's-blouse owns far too much fleece, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:36, Reply)

A length of plastic pipe
Some compressed air and ductape - TUNA CANNON!
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:46, Reply)

Hmmm
I did think I might dribble it along the street to see how many cats I can collect.

But I like the idea of a tuna cannon...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:50, Reply)

Tuna cannon would be awesome.
One thing though... Video it. With the right angle you could conceivably get a ball of tuna to clear a house....... Imagine the surprise!
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:51, Reply)

Erm!
Isn't tinned food supposed to last a long time?
( big-girl's-blouse owns far too much fleece, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:54, Reply)

I'm assuming
That the can will last for ages, and the consume within two days only counts after it's been opened
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:55, Reply)

I'm guessing
2 days once opened.

I like the idea of a tuna cannon too!

*edit* OK, Fredz got there first!
(Boss Keloid Following Hitler with bourbon biscuits, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:56, Reply)

.
Place little pieces of tuna in a trail that takes an interesting route and let the local cats go on a magical mystery tour.
( mistaspakkaman is just a little boy who likes to press buttons., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:58, Reply)

OK, OK
it says consume within two days once opened.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:59, Reply)

Hmm
Tuna compressed air cannon needs stuff like valves and special pipes. Looks to cost up to 100 quid... Having said that it would be utterly awesome!
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:01, Reply)

Pish!
If you keep the tuna in the fridge it will last a few days longer.

Get some friends in and have a tuna party. Tuna sandwiches, tuna on a stick, tuna in a basket, tuna cake etc.


You'll be the talk of the town.
( big-girl's-blouse owns far too much fleece, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Maybe if I can find a mahoosive fat potato...
and a barrel of mayo, I could go for the "world's biggest tuna mayonnaise on a baked potato" record?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:03, Reply)

Tuna Pinata!
Oh yes!

Er, probably best do it outdoors though.
(Boss Keloid Following Hitler with bourbon biscuits, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:03, Reply)

Feed it through some sort of blender, dry it out into tiny tuna flakes
Then fill bags with it, stand underneath and burst the bags and pretend you're in your very own greyish tuna smelling snowstorm.
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:06, Reply)

you lot
are just plain weird.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:09, Reply)

To be fair
You didn't specify that the suggestions needed to be logical, well thought out, sane or even possible.... I was just thinking what I'd do with a giant can of tuna!
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:10, Reply)

Ok, fair point
but the tuna snowstorm was a bit much...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:13, Reply)

True that.
It made me feel a bit queasy after reading it... Still, given that I don't actualy eat tuna the normal things to do with it are kind of closed off, so I had to think of other things..... If you've got lino or floorboards in your hall you could polish them loads, wrap the tin in a sock and get your mates round with brooms to play curling with it?
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:18, Reply)

Are you annoyed with someone?
Drain the tuna into their car vents, and put a goodly portion of it on top of the muffler. It'll smell like Amy Winehouse's knicker drawer caught fire.

EDIT: the tuna storm sounds like a brilliant idea to me, to be honest.
(The Resident Loon is currently a starving artist, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:22, Reply)

Use and icecream scoop to make balls of it
Then freeze it and you have tuna golf balls! Or tune earrings, which you can eat when you get mid morning peckish.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:58, Reply)

put it in the bath and swim with the dolphins.

( Nostrebor so there I was...., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:23, Reply)

but I haven't got a tin of dolphins
^
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:24, Reply)

its definately FULL of the dolphins

( Nostrebor so there I was...., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 22:20, Reply)

Fuck it off into space
I hate Tuna.
(himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 22:24, Reply)

tuna pie
tuna bake
etc

freeze

make tuna mayo with the leftovers for sandwiches
( mictoboy, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 23:00, Reply)

donate
It to the local homeless shelter and they can use it to feed people?

Or a tuna cannon = ftw!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 23:57, Reply)

Eat it!
All of it!

(within 48 hours, or else...)
( cunt cat retarded science: indistinguishable from religion, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 4:12, Reply)

easy...
go to Poundstretchers

buy:
1000 pairs of small white cotton pants
1000 ziplock bags
1000 plain brown envelopes

rub 1.3 grams of tuna on the crotch of each pair of pants

set up a website selling schoolgirls knickers to japanese businessmen

bag, post, profit
( spimf ™ has jacked it in, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 8:06, Reply)

TUNA PARTY!
Or, failing that, spimf's suggestion.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 10:04, Reply)