AWOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAAA!
I'm getting hitched, and I'm having a B3ta Stag bash. Because I'm so right on, both boys and girls can come. It will be in London, and I would like to invite you to come. Yes, you. Have some drinks, and use my impending matrimony to meet other people, offline.

If you're not coming, then answer me this: WHY? And: What are your top 2 song lyrics of all time, and why?
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:41, Reply)

I keep my bible in a pool of blood so that none of it's lies can effect me.
The only time i'm easy is when I'm killed by death.

But I am coming. And i'm going to give DG and Tourettes big hugs, because they've already got married.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:47, Reply)

I'm not coming because I live too far away.
top song lyric #1 - "Under attack, I'm taking cover, they're on my back, three dads, one lover" C'mon, it's an awesome line!
top song lyric #2 - "You don't call your plane the Flying Roman, 'cos the Romans always walked and never flew". It amuses me.
( Batshitangelgabriel being not quite so batshit since, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:48, Reply)

Shit excuse
You have been officially designated as "smelling slightly of turps". Sorry, but that's the way it is.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:50, Reply)

I'm coming
but only if you wear tights like we discussed.

Any further on finding a venue yet?
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:51, Reply)

I'm going to be there
and I have heard rumours of oiled midgets and transvestites.

Should be a fun, fun night...
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:51, Reply)

spakka is going to be the male stripper
Would you like to be the female stripper?
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:52, Reply)

If Spakka's going to strip
I'm not coming
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:55, Reply)

I promise
there will be no Spakka nudity. Al might get his bum out though. And I might roll my trousers above my ankles. If you're lucky.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:58, Reply)

If you promise to come along
I will display a significant amount of calf.

If you promise to attend in something sexy, I will shave my calves.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:59, Reply)

Hurrah
I'll wear my sexiest finery in that case Al...Or was that directed at DiT?
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:20, Reply)

Well, it was directed at you
but if DiT promises to be sexy, i'll let him feel my calves.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:27, Reply)

Mmm...
works for me every time :)
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:30, Reply)

OK, so...
If I'm sexy, I get to feel some calves? I'm IN.

What? It's my stag. I'm allowed to be a bit cheeky. Remember that, ladies! ;)
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:35, Reply)

Fine, whatevs DiT
So long as you wear your tights :)
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:54, Reply)

I've already vetoed that.
If I want to see a naked tit, I'll go to a strp club, thangewverymuch!
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:57, Reply)

What's a strp club?

( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:23, Reply)

It's a club where everybody
uses a leather belt to hone their razors.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:27, Reply)

That's the one.
They do it nudey.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:35, Reply)

no
i wouldn't want all you folks to go crazy wild with lust at my ubersexness, It just wouldn't be fair on my wild imagination

Unless you'd be doing that at Spak, which I would pay to watch
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I'm not coming because I live in America.
And my number one could be b3ta.com/talk/6133018
and the second may be 'return as we must, we are ashes to dust, Amen'
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:53, Reply)

Good choices!

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:58, Reply)

why aren't your favorites on here?
EH?!
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:59, Reply)

Yeah!
Come on Tightly.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:04, Reply)

That is my favourite party game.

( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:06, Reply)

Like sticky biscuit
Only sometimes the biscuit finds it hard to see by the end.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, Reply)

Pfft!
Tightly's covered in industrial strength Geordie jizz.

You know that bloke on the old solvite adverts being flown over London stuck to a board and suspended from a helicopter?

That was Tightly after me and al had finished with him.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, Reply)

Oh fuck...
I feel sullied...
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, Reply)

If I were in your position
I would feel slightly sticky
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, Reply)

If I were in your position
I'd still be trying to get my pant python to cough up and tiny splatter of baby gravy, to fall pathetically on the floor, agonisingly short of the target.

Again.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Good job we are each in the position we are in then.
You might want to close your eyes for a second, it will sting otherwise.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:15, Reply)

You're alright mate, I bought goggles.

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

And a little bit warm
and special.

And probably slightly dirty.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

And probably quite... er...
'Fragrant'.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:17, Reply)

And salty
MMMMmmmmmm... salt.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:33, Reply)

I am coming
Of course I'm coming.

"But it's hard to get by, when your arse is the size, of a small counytryyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"i've got a bike, you can ride it if you like, it's got a basket, a bell that rings and things to make it look good. I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it".

Possibly those two.

Or maybe, "Nazi punks! Nazi punks! Nazi punks! FUCK OFF"
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 21:59, Reply)

Is teh first one
by the divine comedy?
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:01, Reply)

It is
Makes me smile every time.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:02, Reply)

National express Woo

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:02, Reply)

Kristine reminded me that I have been remiss and not told you my favourite lyrics:
"I wanna be Bob Dylan/Well Mr. Jones wishes he was someone just a little more funky/Well man, when everybody loves you/That's just about as funky as you can be."

"If you want my views on history/Then there's something you should know/The three that I admire most/Are Curly, Barry and Mo/Don't worry about the future/Sooner or later it's the past/And if the thrill is gone/Then it's time to take it back."

EDIT: There's many more, but that first one is for sure No.1. The other is just all I could think of!
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:05, Reply)

If the feeling is gone, then it's time to take it back!
So stand up all your raw recruits, throw away those designer suits!
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:06, Reply)

"What colour panties are you wearing?"
"And how long have you been wearing them?"
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:07, Reply)

They're dark blue with a light blue trim
And I put them on at about 6.45am.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:09, Reply)

Spiffing
Have you soiled them yet? Or is the mrs not playing?
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, Reply)

She's out for the evening
I have been sitting in my pants for a good four hours now.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:13, Reply)

You mean
have been sitting in my pants a rapidly encrusting pool of my own spunk for a good four hours now.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:15, Reply)

It's true
I thought about you in your big flappy coat and it just went off.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:18, Reply)

*Adopts Nigella voice*
You like it when it flaps... don't you?

*Sultry pout to camera*

*Rub cream from nipple*
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:23, Reply)

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:26, Reply)

But it's so much fun
*puts cream back on nipples*
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:28, Reply)

*Flaps at clendrix*
It's OK, the missus is in the shower - there's only you and me.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:32, Reply)

But Al's watching...

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:34, Reply)

It's OK
He's gone blind from when Tightly jismed in his eyeballs.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:38, Reply)

Well that's fine then.
Let's squash up here on the side of the thread.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:39, Reply)

*squashes*
*falls off thread*
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:41, Reply)

Ooh, this is cuddly, innit!
What will the neighbours say?
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:42, Reply)

Invite them in!

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, Reply)

Sauce!

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, Reply)

Mmmm...sauce

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:45, Reply)

Come in!
but mind the spunk pools on the carpet.

It's OK, al will lap them up later. You'll never know they were there, unless he tries to tongue you.

I think I'm going to watch Newsnight for a bit.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:46, Reply)

Your weapon's cocked, your target's in your sight!
There's a party raging somewhere in the world...
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:10, Reply)

Gotta serve you country
gotta service your mum.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, Reply)

You're all enlisted in the armies of the nii-iiiigght...
And I ain't in it for the power!
And I ain't in it for the wealth!
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I ain't in it for the glory or anything at all
and I sure ain't in it for my health!

Well i'm

IN it 'till it's
OVER and I
JUST can't
STOP.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:17, Reply)

If you wanna get it done
you gotta fight for yourself!

And I like my music like I like MY LIIIIIFE!
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:30, Reply)

I'm gonna be at Download Festival.
I'm deeply sorry for being so shit.

At the start-time I'll be watching Static X, by the look of it.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:06, Reply)

Static X my own vomit leaving my mouth.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:07, Reply)

Also likely.
My festival supplies will be:

Booze
Fags
Tent
Cigarettes
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:12, Reply)

Fags
lol
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire Bring on the Jazz Chickens!, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:14, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHA
Kaol is taking loads of bummers to a festival.



He'll probably get bummed.




bummer




lol
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Nothing like
Gay-tent-sex to make a festival complete.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:17, Reply)

Got to be a possibility - stick it on the calendar and I'll make sure it doesn't clash with my hugely busy social life.
/cries at lack of real social life.

Hmmm...song lyrics...let me see...

No, I'll have to get back to you on that one.
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:11, Reply)

I forgot the song lyrics
No idea on my favourite two of all time but todays top two

'First time, I did it for the hell of it, stuck it round the back of my tongue and then I swallowed it'

and

'If I could choose the life I please then i would be a free man' except I'd be a woman
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:26, Reply)

Hurrah for the early nineties!

( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:29, Reply)

*reminisces*
*realises that's now almost 20 years ago*

*cries*
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:47, Reply)

song lyrics
"With a slip of the tongue I'm in deep shit, I'm so fed up I can taste it"

"A slice of time, a piece of mind, another plate of mankind"
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:31, Reply)

"No no,
No no no no, no no no no, no no there's no...."

Actually, no.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:36, Reply)

Omar omar omar
omar omar omar OOOHHHMAAR Riza

do do dodododo do do dodododo do do dodododo Omar Riza
(Half a turkey carcass still left on the 29thy Shit Tesco petrol broke my car apparently, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:53, Reply)

aw Daaaaaaaad
NO!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:55, Reply)

Sorry
I did stop in time...
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 23:20, Reply)

I am all the things that you regret

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:34, Reply)

Watching the ships cooomin in
an' gooooin out again.

Vic and Bob
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:40, Reply)

You can't beat...
...a bit of Otis...
(Apathyman oh yeah, he gets gazs and everything, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:44, Reply)

think im signed up
and to quote ST

"I ain't no motherfucker, never had one never really wanted one"

"That don't mean your daughter's safe, guess that makes me a daughter fucker"
(Half a turkey carcass still left on the 29thy Shit Tesco petrol broke my car apparently, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:43, Reply)

Also
When the ball hits your head and you're sat in row Z, thats Zamora

When the ball missed the goal that's not Shearer or Cole, that's Zaammmmooorrraaaaa
(Half a turkey carcass still left on the 29thy Shit Tesco petrol broke my car apparently, Thu 7 May 2009, 22:59, Reply)

Hmmm...
There is a bash in Sheffield on this day, but I haven't been to London in a while. If I can find a good youth hostel, count me in.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Thu 7 May 2009, 23:03, Reply)

I'm not coming because
mummy wont let me cross the road to London.


No 1: "I'm still waiting for the day when Trevor Mcdonald says "Tonight's top story....today was boring."

and

No 2: "If time is my vessel then learning to love must be my way back to sea"
(ColonelMistletoe'n'Wine has got breasts???, Fri 8 May 2009, 0:33, Reply)

Congratulations to Mr Fashnu!
I'm afraid that with my trying to be out tonight I'm unlikely to be in the houndy good books if I came out next week also.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 8 May 2009, 11:45, Reply)

"In spite of what you've been told about Elvis, the good die old and helpless."

"I swim in circles, in puddles, in trouble..."
(wellgroomedwookiee you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:15, Reply)