Who'd like to take time out from discussing LUNCH to discuss JMG?
Ultimately we know where this leads, with inevitable name calling and making stuff up about me in general.
But let's try and get through this without some of you throwing your toys out of the pram and blaming me from anything varying from swine flu to you being mildly obese.

How's QOTW, today?
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:24, Reply)

This is off-topic.
Duh!
( big-girl's-baubles fixed her cat flap, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:25, Reply)

I see.
So what shall we discuss?
It'll probably come back to JMG, anyhow.

But in the meantime, we could discuss the upcoming Champions League final?
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Not with me you wont.
I'm sure a male B3tan will be here shortly to play with.
( big-girl's-baubles fixed her cat flap, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

You'd be surprised at how terribly poor even the average b3tan's banter is when it comes to football.
:(
It's very frustrating. I believe there's a load of rugger boys on here, who enjoy scrums.
There's been discussions and tearful fallings out over this, in the past.

:(
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Awwww.
Sorry JMG. I'm not that interested in football. But I could probably nod politely and feign interest/knowlege for a bit, if it's that big an issue
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:37, Reply)

I did sleep with a footballer once.
Well when I say footballer, he was actually an accountant who played football at the weekends and when I say sleep with I actually gave him a blow job in a club toilets.

Does that make me a WAG?
( big-girl's-baubles fixed her cat flap, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Probably.

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

It's OK.
I wouldn't want people to go out of their way to entertain me.
This isn't a strip club.

If it was a strip club it might have to be shut down for false advertising should they have have silhouettes of slim women on their windows.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

good point
Plus, I'd then have to buy stripper clothes, not to mention some form of sex change. Also, the site would become NSFW and all, and neon lighting and such. All in all it's probably for the best this isn't a strip club.
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

QOTW is fine today, thanks for asking.
How're you?
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Well I'll be frank, I'm on top form.
I managed to rake in the funds from private work only last week, and as such shall probably invest said money in some guaranteed profits.
It's nice to be able to discuss such events on a board where people don't leap down your throat for being incredibly popular and successful.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

We'd be able to hold a conversation
if you weren't so egocentric. As it is, that kind of self-centred attitude turns me right off.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:50, Reply)

This isn't the place for popular and successful people.
No wonder you're villified on here.

You need to find somewhere else where like-minded top-notch folks like yourself go to mingle.
( big-girl's-baubles fixed her cat flap, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:50, Reply)

This is exactly how I see /talk, too
Some of the patrons there who aren't fat and miserable applaud me for putting up with such dour internet.
I'm an international service. JMG is here to support shit internet.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

I question your motivation
It's rather unbelieveable that you think you are actually providing a service rather than just wasting time like the rest of us - except in a more obsessive troll-like fashion. More intelligent than the average troll, yes. Perhaps you think you provide entertainment, and might well do for some. However I find your humour rather crude and repetitive. Get the feeling you could do better. It's all a bit of a mystery. Your cult of personality starts to look a bit unhealthy when you pride yourself on an avowed detachment, pillorying "panderers" and those seeking "validation" - because the mirror faces both ways and you are as "guilty" as anyone. You claim never to take offense but it's easy to see the lie in such an inhuman attitude when you obviously get a kick out of winding up people on boards that don't meet your mission statement standards or whatever. Whenever I look on /talk you seem to be there. It could all be a big ironic joke but that rather beggars belief.

Bottom line: anyone who disparages "fat birds" in front of strangers with little obvious humour can be nothing but a total cunt. I for one will never acquiese to accepting such behaviour.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Fri 8 May 2009, 18:35, Reply)

I'd rather
discuss the colour of the snot on the tissue from when I just blew my nose thirty seconds ago.

otherwise I'm well thanks. et tu?
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Oh hi JMG!
Are you looking forward to the weekend?
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Monday.
I'm more looking forward to MONDAY than anything.
There's very important football to be had, there.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Ah,
Jolly good.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I actually agree
Monday is very important. It may be the last opportunity I get for a year to go to the pub to watch the match.

I realise that I could, in fact, still go to the pub next year to watch the like of Chelsea and Man U showboating. But why the hell would I want to do that? Winning constantly is dull. Dull, I tell you!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:10, Reply)

the best result
from the match would be if Christiano Ronaldo were to get very, very hurt.

Actually hurt, rather than his usual pretend hurt with tears.
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I don't generally like to wish bad things on people
other than members of the government, people who ride motorbikes, and the people who run TESCO and ASDA, but this really appeals to me. I'd like a career ending tackle. That would wipe the smile of the smug cunts face.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Unless he played for Newcastle
But as he doesn't, he can fuck off.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

If he played for Newcastle
Joey Barton would probably knife him after the first training session.

He's another world class cunt, but for the simple fact that he is simply scum, not because I'm jealous that he's a massively better footballer than me.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:18, Reply)

al.....
You pay attention to football...? I feel so betrayed, I don't know if our relationship can make it through this
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Only in a casual way.
I don't think of football when we're together you know.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:19, Reply)

YES YOU DO
That's why you got me to wear the Zebra costume. You LIED to me

*runs away crying*
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:22, Reply)

You're just jealous
because he's well sexy and gets his hair done at Toni and Guy
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:16, Reply)

JMG
I would like to engage you in an embrace of sexual love-making. How's about it?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:11, Reply)

It's no good Bert
I think he's gone.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I was too late?
I always miss the fun. Maybe I'll catch him later on /talk
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

We've never spoke on /talk, have we?
Which one are you?
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:23, Reply)

We've talked a few times
only briefly, mind. You're very wrapped up in yourself, which makes it difficult to discuss anything, but that only makes me want you more
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:24, Reply)

That's alright.
I hold a strict no fatties stance.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:25, Reply)

I'm 11 stone of bony sexual goodness

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I can vouch for this
the bony bit anyway. Not the sexeh bit. That would be wrong.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Stop trying to sell yourself to JMG!
This is now looking desperate.
Can QOTW not put forward one respectable user?
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:32, Reply)

My arse is tighter than a Scotsman's wallet
are you sure you can't be tempted?

*rubs nipple hair*
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Respectable user?
*laughs maniacally*
( big-girl's-baubles fixed her cat flap, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, Reply)

As much as I'd expect you to look better than most of b3ta's women, I can safely put to you the notion that JMG isn't a fruit.
Now I'm a PC gentleman who is all for you puffters having your own rights and all that.
But I can only go so far. I can't accommodate the big bent lifestyle.

Plus, you're on QOTW.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Well, I appreciate your honesty
If I had some gender reassignment surgery, would you be interested then?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, Reply)

No thank you.
I'm way too important for all that nonsense.
( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Do you have a sister?

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Yes. She's a b3tan.

( Jam Master Geordie FACEBOOK FANPAGE! http://tinyurl.com/ctbb2q ., Fri 8 May 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Really...?
May I ask who? I'd totally like to give her one
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:54, Reply)

That's because you're a Scotsman, Bert

( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:48, Reply)

I put myself forward.
Although I'm not entirely sure what this is for.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Shut up, Morris

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:36, Reply)

I think we firmly established that
My real name is unimportant on here.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:37, Reply)

And stop talking to me,
You're tarring my with your crapulance.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I need to present a clean sheet
For whatever this is.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Morris, shut up

(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Shut up, Morris.
Why can't I link to my reply here?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:38, Reply)

*returns from lunch*
*reads thread*
*digests*
(PJM Does not love Liberace, Fri 8 May 2009, 14:52, Reply)