When did you last realise that despite all your faking and mindfucking
that things are actually pretty damn shit and it would be better for everyone if you just ended it all now?

Not there yet.
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Every time I wake up with a hangover.
Easily fixed with wanking, mind.
(wellgroomedkrampus you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

When I checked my
bank balance and saw I am -£87. And I don't have an overdraft.

I am going for killing other people and selling their organs though.
( I saw Al kissing Santa Claus before doing it reindeer style under the tree, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I'm in the market for a spleen
if you find yourself with one going spare.

I want to see if that ebola thing really works.
(wellgroomedkrampus you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Sold
to the long haired man with the unnerving smile
( I saw Al kissing Santa Claus before doing it reindeer style under the tree, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Haaaaaa!
Perfect.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Unnerving?
*grins*
(wellgroomedkrampus you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

It's true
wanking solves many of life's problems.
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

unless you're using public transport at the time

(PJM Does not love Liberace, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Doesn't stop everyone...

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

That's debatable

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with a danger wank every now and again.
Just don't get the bus driver in the eye.
(wellgroomedkrampus you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Probably about 18 months ago
When (ironically) I nearly choked to death trying to take an overdose.

I find that pretty funny though so it's all good.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Retarb

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

It's not my fault I have trouble swallowing
*cries*
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Sitting on the lavatory
experimenting with your gag reflex?
(wellgroomedkrampus you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Lavatory?
Ooh, get you, you posh cunt.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I'd forgotten about this!

( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Lolz at your fail

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Is this a Madeline McCann joke?

( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Every 6 weeks, lasting a couple of weeks.
But then I get so fed up of being fed up, that I pick myself up, force myself to be sociable and do things. That normally sorts myself out for a little while.

Fake it 'till you make it, is what I say.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 11 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Plus I'm too good looking and stunning, I couldn't deny the world of me, it would be a crime.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 11 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

A sexcrime.

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

He has to stun them. It makes it easier to drag them home.

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I want to take someone on a date to see Star Trek now.
And when I meet them at the pictures, say the line "Set [name] to STUN(Ning)".

Oh god, I'm so cool, it hurts.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 11 May 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Force yourself to be sociable?
Were we that much of an effort?
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:58, Reply)

WE weren't Clendrix
But you were.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:01, Reply)

You made me suck your tongue.
*cries*
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:01, Reply)

MADE you?
What sick, horrible lies! I recoiled away but found myself restrained and unable to escape.

The memories hurt like a bitch.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I'm glad about your pain.
It brought more enjoyment to the whole experience.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Serious Answer: Even "Willard 'Will 'Fresh Prince' Smith' Christopher Smith, Jnr," would be effort when the emos are happening.
Unserious Answer: It was like being the bus conductor on the Star Bus.
( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 11 May 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Is the Star Bus the WindowLickers Bus?
If so, yes. I agree.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:09, Reply)

So were we all
special passengers?

I felt very special with my lovely not-tattoo on
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:22, Reply)

That's the one.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Mon 11 May 2009, 14:40, Reply)

I don't really fake or mind-fuck.
I remember waking up in the middle of winter, sick, cold and lonely to go and stand on the street and work for an idiot in an exhasuting job that was rarely fun for weeks and weeks.
Getting home so late and tired that I wanted to sleep for a week.

Even then, or the time I spent on the dole in Halifax, on my own, going mad from boredom I've never harboured a desire to hurt myself.

Friends and art. as long as I've got those I'll be alright.
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

"Friends and art. as long as I've got those I'll be alright."
Lovely! Same here, except art my guitar, which I can barely even play.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I doubt many people
Have never thought idly about ending it all. I've never done anything more than engage in some hardcore bouts of self-pity-wallowing, vague romantic ideas of how everyone's life would improve, and then realising it would be massive insult to my loving family and friends.

Then I have a wank.
( Labia Majora when you're feeling down, I'll feel you up, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I'm confident that you're right.
Which is probably a good thing...except where chavs are concerned.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Huh.
Usualy first thing on waking up, and last thing before I sleep. Other than that I just try to keep busy and hope my latest plan/job/relationship whatever changes my mind.
(Fredz should learn to walk before he crawls, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I've had a few failz (I'm delighted to say)
1 x jump-from-high-building 1994
1 x OD 2004
1 x hypothermia + OD 2004
1 x strangulation 2005
1 x getting on a plane, then another, then in the air deciding I didn't want to do this after all.

Long live teh failz.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Keep on failing.
Sounds like the internals are saving you from yourself.
(porkyulelips Built for comfort, not for speed., Mon 11 May 2009, 14:25, Reply)

This is quite a list, Edmund.
Please don't try to add to it though :)
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:25, Reply)