So today, everyone here gets to give a free punch in the face.
Who are you going to give it to?
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

You

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)

your mum
or william shatner
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Boss's "partner"
Evil witch
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

The managing director of National Express trains.
For sheer arse-wittery when it comes to trying to concoct a logical arguement for screwing extra money from the commuting public. And failing miserably due to his arguement being, quite frankly, so shit that a 3 year old could see through it.

See my post below.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

My maternal grandmother.
She deserves it.
( big-girl's-baubles thinks everything tastes better than skinny feels, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:43, Reply)

AND
The car (for boot on head incident yesterday) and the hallway door (for knob on hip incident an hour ago).

And the ghost of Christmas past.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Where to begin? Ah yes, Robin Williams
Robin Williams
Woody Allen
Keith Allen
Ricky Gervais
Alan Sugar
My boss
my GF's ex
Geoffrey of Monmouth
Saladin
The 3rd Earl of Sandwich
Bono
Chi Chi the Giant Panda
....and the mother of my daughter. With a mailed glove.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

I already owe my pub quiz team a punch each
For ignoring me when I confidently gave them the right answer to a question. I have since said that, at my discretion, the 'punch' can be changed to 'fist'.
( Labia Majora when you're feeling down, I'll feel you up, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

What will 'face' be changed to?

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

That depends on the how much I've drank that day.

( Labia Majora when you're feeling down, I'll feel you up, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:17, Reply)

punches are quite environmentally friendly aren't they
in that when you give one away you still have one left for later.

So I'll give mine, one each to Jacqui Smith and Thatcher.

And Timmy Mallett.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 13 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

myself
only me
I feel like I deserve a good smacking, anyone else fancy a go?
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Aaarghhhh...so many people!
Must. Choose.

How about the next person I see?
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Hmmm...
The person who decided it was a good idea to change the packaging on Silver Lucky Strikes.
Blue? WHY?
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:06, Reply)

A life in ruins.

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:09, Reply)

You have no idea
Of the sadness this is causing me.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:10, Reply)

*puts on serious expression*

( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:12, Reply)

*nods*
This is serious business.
Either I start smoking Reds, or I change brand.
This is life-altering stuff.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I think you should repair to the main OT board immediately
and consult your fellow b3tans on their favourite ways to neck-tumour notoriety...
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah, I could do.
I'll treat myself to it shortly, after I've finished doing this difficult equation.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:23, Reply)

By the time I gave up
I was smoking Sterling Blue aka Tescos Value Cigarettes. About a quid cheaper than name brands and surprisingly un-shit.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:30, Reply)

The emergency vet
Who caused me to spend 24 hours blubbing over the imminent demise of my now apparently fine cat.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Wed 13 May 2009, 14:33, Reply)