Where's Bert?
I kinda miss the daft old cunt.

Edit: let's be having your conspiracy theories and nuggets for the rumour mill, then.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:17, Reply)

I know.
I miss him too.
I need his sillyness.
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I think though.
that he's been kidnapped and anally probed by aliens. Aliens that look like Al.
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Don't you go being all innocent.
You killed him with your fluffeh hugs. Naughty Vamp.
(porkyulelips Built for comfort, not for speed., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:55, Reply)

did not!
I only let him 'ave a motorboat!
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

Oh yes you did!
I saw it wrote down on the internets and everything. MOIDER!
(porkyulelips Built for comfort, not for speed., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

JMG
and Bert are one and the same.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:28, Reply)

I think he got fed up trying to get me to sleep with him so he's gone away.
.
( big-girl's-baubles is going to ask someone out and it could be you, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:51, Reply)

It's true!
I knew something was missing, but I couldn't quite think what it was. A bit like a toothache that suddenly goes away.

I reckon he's joined a traveling burlesque group.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:53, Reply)

Bert
is my "underdesk relaxational therapist", currently locked in my filing cabinet until services required.
(CaptainInnuendo One mouthful contains all your vitamin C needs., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Yes, it does, doesn't it ;-)
He'll be back. You can't keep a good cunt down.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

He was last seen
in the vicinity of Master Pain's den with a flourescent jacket and a moderatly worried looking goat.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Gonz ate him
as there's only room for so many people on OT at any one time.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:30, Reply)