I've just had a lunch meeting
with some fucker from Luxembourg. I sort of phased out half way through because all I could think was: I bet it would be dead easy if I aquired my own private army someday to invade your country, what with it being so small.

But then I came to my senses over coffee - why the fuck would I want to invade Luxembourg anyway. Brazil would be better, what with the beaches, sexy ladies, and copious amounts of peyote.

So, my question is - what country would you like to invade and why???
(SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Germany.
Because my Grandad got poorly because of the 2nd world war.
( big-girl's-baubles thinks everything tastes better than skinny feels, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Your mum.
Oh sorry - you said 'country'.
(DrTugnutcracker Robs and beats annoying lispers, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I was going to say "/talk
Then, "sorry, you said country..."

CUNTY.
(himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Ha ha!
In your face, himjim.
(DrTugnutcracker Robs and beats annoying lispers, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Canada
I reckon it would be pretty simple.

I'd then build my forces and invade America and work my way down to Mexico. I'd force the natives to join my army before moving through South America.

Once I'm done there I'd tootle back up north, amass my forces and invade Russia, move down to China, across to the Middle East, split my forces between Africa and Europe and reign supreme!

I'd then sit back and rule the world with a nice cup of tea.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Canada
would be a pretty good choice - but you've got to be careful of the bears.

And Celen Dion.
(SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I'd eat the bears
And fuck Celene really really hard just to piss my mate off.

Then I'd make her dance with the bears.

Then I'd let the bears eat her.

Then I'd eat the bears.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:54, Reply)

If you ever run for Parliament
You've got my vote.
(SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Already planning on this but if my plan came to fruition
Each country would have a Governor, answerable only to me. They would run each country in whatever manner they see fit. In essence it would be like a franchise and I'd get a share of each nations profits.

The UK would be effectively be global headquarters. I'd live in big medieval castle on top of a big hill. I'd be protected by archers, and ninjas with tigers would patrol my estate.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:17, Reply)

How would you stop the Governers getting too big for their boots
and trying to overthrow you?

I've always wanted to live in a castle.
(Applebite Bring back psychochomp!, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:27, Reply)

FEAR
Plain and simple.

Each national governor would liase with a continental governor, while still be ultimately responsible to me and nobody but me.

Don't question my plans - you could be fucking up your future should they ever become reality.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Should we be worried
That you've put so much thought into this?

If you ever manage it, you'd better not forget about my castle.
(Applebite Bring back psychochomp!, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Norway was it?
It's probably not as scary as my well thought out, and possibly undetectable, plan that myself and some mates once had for the kidnap, torture, murder and disposal of a rather unpleasant chap.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:13, Reply)

I'd invade Sweden
Then make a tactical retreat once we had retrived my objective - my girlfriend, and the heads of all the people in her class and large quantities of vodka!

After getting drunk and convincing my army they are vikings, I'd then cross the channel to france, converting their vinyards to mead making places as my wild horde swept the country. Joining up with the Germans (our natural allies), we would then swing north in to Holland, Denmark and then take the rest of the nordic countries, finally bringing Europe under an Anglo-Germanic grip of cheap quality booze, heavy metal and no french.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Oh snap
Good choice on Nationality!
(himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Random thought...
That photo in your profile - BOA 07 or 08?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

BOA08
You going this year?
(himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Of course!
I've got my nice shiny purple tickets sitting in a very safe place. Minibash, methinks?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:55, Reply)

I've yet to fully commit myself
starting a new job soon and I have a lot of holiday booked to explain to them! We will see though :-)

Whereabouts are you from?
(himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Although I live in Oxford
For BOA I will be travelling from my girlfriends, with an overnight stop at home to grab all my stuff.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:24, Reply)

I know who I wouldn't invade:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War

Check out the box on the right of the page.
If I recruited the whole population as my army, I'd most likely be able to take over the world with ease.
(Applebite Bring back psychochomp!, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I can't see how the Soviets lost
They have a really cold climate too, surely they must train in winter. It's not like Finland was fighting Egypt or something.
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Finland vs Egypt
Now there's an interesting image.

According to Wikipedia, it was mostly down to 'an extremely high commitment and morale in the Finnish forces'
(Applebite Bring back psychochomp!, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Oft forgotten
dubious military campaign.

Produced the deadliest sniper in military history and the founded the use of decoys etc.

Very interesting to read up on.
(himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:35, Reply)

I like the way with the dummies that
once they'd determined the approximate location of the Russian sniper, they just lobbed a few anti-tank rounds at him.

Good to see someone recognise when it's ok not to be subtle.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 15 May 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Country? Why stop there?
What about invading a continent? Now that's gotta be worth a shot...

Bugger me, that was why I should've listened in geography lessons - I can't say which one I'd like to invade coz I can't remember all of them...

*embarrases*

*runs away*
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:16, Reply)

England
revenge
(bazmorningstar of Bethlehem Meal Of Yule On Time. Xmas dinner must be punctual, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Hmmm
Laos. I like Laos.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Fri 15 May 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Interesting
A completely random choice. I'm impressed.

How would you build your nation for global conquest, or is that not part of your plan?
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 15:38, Reply)

Conquering the entire world
is kind of an all or nothing proposition - you either win everything or you lose everything.

Taking over a small country and sticking at that (and making noises about elections and reform) and you'll probably get away with it.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 15 May 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Only the weak lose
And I am not weak.

I should mention that Capital Punishment will also be in force during my reign, and you sir may very well have signed your own (future) death warrant by your mere suggestion that I would ever lose.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 15 May 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Aha
Well then, clearly I was talking about why Piston_Broke would stop at Laos. You of course would carry on and rule the world.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 15 May 2009, 17:45, Reply)