If I had a hammer
I'd hammer it in the morning...

Got me thinking, this did - If I had a hammer I'd probably go and terrorise the kids at the comprehensive school next to my office til they gave me all their drugs.

What would you do if you had a hammer?
(SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:24, Reply)

STOP!
Hammer Time...



I'd probably just leave it on my desk so I could start stroking it absent-mindedly when somebody (e.g., one of my students) comes in to ask me to do something I don't want to do. (You know, like work...)


Edit: Obligatory Double Entendre - I frequently hammer my hammer first thing in the morning.
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I'd make a shed
Then hide in it, stroking the precious hammer.

I have a special one I use for doing tech work. I was my grandad's - old, polished wood, the head is shiny but has little traces of corrosion, some of the rust looks slightly like dried blood. It has two ends, one for nails, one for actors... I never have problems while holding my hammer.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Glad I'm not the only one
who likes to stroke their hammer.
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Would it mean it was hammertime?
Blurgh - beaten to it again.


Edit - I would hit my sister over the head with it to see if it knocked any sense into her.
( big-girl's-baubles thinks everything tastes better than skinny feels, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Sorry, but on the upside they do say great minds think alike.
Unfortunately, mine is not a great mind.
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I'd be making things
Like I was last weekend.
( jingle_bob, jingle_bob, jingle all the way... is a waterproof rapist. Apparently., Wed 20 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

If I had a hammer,
I'd makka a nissa fatt sandawige.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Ha!
This is fucking excellent, mate! Being of the Italian extraction myself I feel it only right and proper to find casual racial stereotypes aginst the Italians incredibly fucking amuzing...

Its sort of ying for the yang of me telling loads of kids at school my granddad was a high ranking member of the Mafia. They left me alone... Then the Godfather III came out and everybody just took the piss: I am not, never have been and never will be associated with Francis Ford Coppola...
(SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Heheh
That's got me giggling like a twat!
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Cheers chaps!
Glad to be of service :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Erm,
hammer in the morning?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I'm a bit old-fashioned
so I'd probably just going around hitting things with it.

At the joinery shop, we used to call them 'hand-held gravity-assisted adjustable-impact spanners'
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

If I had a hammer
I would buy myself a matching winged helmet... and become THOR
(Bonzodog29 Life dont talk to me about life..., Wed 20 May 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Fuckin GREAT!!!
I'd buy a nice brown old person coat, get a blue rinse and a walking stick and call myself THOR-a Herd.
(SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Puntastic
That made me mirth most merrily
(Bonzodog29 Life dont talk to me about life..., Wed 20 May 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I'd give it to my friend
cos he was bought a special knife that can cut thru hammers, apparently, and a hammer.

But the hammer was too nice to cut in half. So he hasn't tested his knife yet.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Do we know this 'friend?'
:)
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

hehe
actually, no :)

But I know who you might be thinking of...
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:43, Reply)

I'd give AT LEAST
Ten pounds for a knife that could cut through hammers.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

i think
it was something liek a forever sharp, or miracle knife.

But it was also advertised on something like JML or one of the shopping channels apparently so it might be a bit, um, shit.

Google at your peril!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Ah, one of them!
Maybe five pounds then.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Also,
If I had a hammer, I'd fix it to a dog.
Dunno why, or what it'd be for.

Actually, I don't know.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Remove some nails
from my walls.

Or fuck it off into space.

A flying hammer.
(himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

A hammer is the only tool I own.
it makes every problem look like a nail.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

I was putting together some furniture at the weekend.
Didn't have a hammer, but it turned out that the "You will need a hammer" instruction was bollocks.
It's quite possible to get by with your fists, and for finer-detail work, a rolling pin.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I have a hammer on my desk
People look at me funny when I stroke it!




Contains 100% truth!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Wed 20 May 2009, 14:12, Reply)