I've decided that I have penis envy
Tell me all about your cocks so I can feel more envy.

Let me rephrase. Tell me about the best blowjob you ever received.
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:43, Reply)

It's pretty boring,
and can be very painful if you do up your flies too fast without due care and attention.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Occasionally
wee comes out of the end.
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:45, Reply)

I voted for it in 1997

(PJM Does not love Liberace, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:46, Reply)

I get erections in public
Through no fault of my own.

Buses and stuff like that. I'm not a eprvert.
(The Dirty Christmas Treeker I will bite your face off, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:47, Reply)

There is no best one...
..blow-jobs are like pizza, even the worst one you have had is pretty good.
(DrTugnutcracker Danger Wanked 13.35-38 15/12/09, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I dunno
Had one with digital prostate massage once. I couldn't walk for twenty minutes.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Why?
Did he kick you in the balls as he cum?
(DrTugnutcracker Danger Wanked 13.35-38 15/12/09, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:55, Reply)

Cuntcuntcunt
Yes. Probably.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

I prefer analogue.

BOOM BOOM.
(wellgroomedwookiee you are our second favourite food, OTHER THAN WOOD, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:56, Reply)

^This
Purely because, when I read 'digital prostate massage,' my first thought was to imagine some kind of electronic device you could hang off your bell-end...
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Is this where you put an optic mouse up your arse?

(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:03, Reply)

None of this rubber-ball shit round here.

( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Not really, I've had a few where I wish we never bothered.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Thu 21 May 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Also this

( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:21, Reply)

words can't do it justice
*gazzes pic*
( dj STUPID FUCKING CONSUMER DAY BOLLOCKS price May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and bu..., Thu 21 May 2009, 12:59, Reply)

My cock is perfectly boring.
Of average length and girth.
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Mine too.
Wanna compare?
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Really?
Is that what puts you in such good standing on /talk?
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Proverbs 2.14
"Long and thin - goes straight in.
Short and thick - does the trick."

Which is shit if like me you have a short, thin one.
(DrTugnutcracker Danger Wanked 13.35-38 15/12/09, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Sure? OK, here goes...
...2006, December.

Oh bugger it, I can't - too much of a gentleman / wuss (you choose).
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)