sweet zombie titty-fucking christ on a bike
I'm bored.

I'm going home at 4, but that leaves me with just over an hour to kill.

You bastards had better be entertaining. cos if you're not.....

edit: better ask something I guess...

Tell me something interesting about yourself. Something not many people know. Do you have a special talent?

I quite surprise people by being able to put my leg behind my head. The surprise comes because I am a 6'2 bloke who weighs about 14 stone.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I CAN'T JUST PERFORM ON COMMAND YOU KNOW!
.
( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Fri 29 May 2009, 14:59, Reply)

I bet you can!
;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Label everything in your cube
Begin with paperclips.
Make sure you label each so there's no confusion.
( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:00, Reply)

Cube!
I want to work in a cube.
We are Borg.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

I wish I worked in a cube
rather than this open plan nonsense.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I work in Virginia Woolf's old larder.
There's no food in here though.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:09, Reply)

There must be some rocks in there, surely?

(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, Reply)

:)
No. And it won't have me in it soon - sod this working lark.
( clendrix spit-roasting on an open fire has a new BFF and he's HOT, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:33, Reply)

*does the robot*

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:10, Reply)

*does the robo-boogie*

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Does
The Humanoid Boogie
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:49, Reply)

What's your favourite song to play on guitar?
Mine's No Other Way by Jack Johnson.
( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:02, Reply)

I should probably know that song...
my favourites are either (at the moment): Diamonds on the soles of her shoes by Paul Simon, a blues song in D that I wrote or Oh Well by Fleetwood Mac
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Rockin in the free world
or 'Julie' by The Levellers
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Carry on my wayward son!

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

ooo
dust in the wind is a pleasant song to play
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Diamonds
is one of my favourite songs ever!

Linky to best tab please?
( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

it's only a little snippet
but it plays it most of the way through

www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/p/paul_simon/diamonds_on_the_soles_of_her_shoes_tab.htm
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, Reply)

*bums*

( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:18, Reply)

Hard Fight
by the Levellers is also a lovely song to play due to the strange chords used. One ia like a Dminor played the Astring open and 3 frets back - I can't remember what its called, and the other is like an upside down Fmajor, with both E strings played open.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:21, Reply)

This makes my fingers cry.

( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:25, Reply)

They get played arpeggio as well
It sounds lovely on a 12string.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:28, Reply)

they sound interesting
not chords that I know though.

I tend to stick to fairly straightforward ones.

and face-melting guitar soloes
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:29, Reply)

linky
www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/l/levellers/hard_fight_crd.htm
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Speshul talent
I can vibrate my eyeballs inside my skull.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:03, Reply)

a mate of mine can do that
it freaks me out
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:04, Reply)

mine make a squishy bubbly noise when I rub them

( Kristine doesn't want a fucking christmas name, you cunt, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:04, Reply)

I can do this also!
I used to do it while wiggling my eyebrows and flaring my nostrils to try and make friends
(SoneMe, Fri 29 May 2009, 20:30, Reply)

I can...
Shake my pupils (I mean my eyes of course, it's hard to describe), wiggle my ears and raise eyebrows independently.

All of the above can be performed at the same time for maximum "wtf?"

Also, I was once on Blue Peter

[edit] gawd damn you Ed, beat me by a minute or so
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Sorry!
b3tamax

but you win for being on blue peter. did you get to shag konnie huq?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

Nop
Well before the Huq, this was back in my school days when Anthea Turner, Tim someone and the black chick were running things.
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I can do a near exact impression
of Marvin the Martian saying "ooh this makes me very angry".
(Kitty O'Falalalala La La La La is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:04, Reply)

awesome
use it as your text message alert
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:05, Reply)

But that would mean
I would have to replace James Woods saying
"ooh, piece of candy!"
(Kitty O'Falalalala La La La La is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:09, Reply)

^ this just made me officelol

(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:10, Reply)

I can do a very, very convincing impression of a Llama.
It doesn't really work online though.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:06, Reply)

pics?

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Hmph. That would mean putting a picture of me.
Online.

And this meat puppet is all about secrecy. If I can find something I'll gaz you, old boy.
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:10, Reply)

schplendid

( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:14, Reply)

I have a special un-talent
I physically cant sit crossed-legged, just keep rolling backwards. Much to the ammusement of most people I know
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:07, Reply)

I want to see this
so badly!
(Kitty O'Falalalala La La La La is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:10, Reply)

If you have a floor
It can be arranged
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:13, Reply)

But my floor
is in Manchester. That's what mobile phones and Youtube were made for. That and fat people falling over things.
(Kitty O'Falalalala La La La La is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Come to a bash
There's always a floor.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Come to a bash...
So people can watch me struggle to sit??

Yeah Manchester is far far away... ill see if I can find a vid somewhere
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:26, Reply)

That's the surprising thing about gravity.

( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:49, Reply)

That would depend
On how much had been drunk.

And where the bash was.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Very, very true.

( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:00, Reply)

I am very tempted
I get all shy when meeting new peeps thou, hence t'interweb
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I just want to say,
"FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER"

Awesome tune.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:22, Reply)

I can
blow air out through my tear ducts.

Sing any note from A (an octave and a third below middle C) to high C (two octaves above middle C) with ease.

Cause near-death experiences (was giving a flute recital a few years ago in a church, hit a long, held high note during a particularly poignant bit, heard a bit of a commotion at the back of the church, and later found out the frequency had fucked up some old bugger's pacemaker. Oops. My recitals should come with health warnings).

EDIT: and I can write really filthy, explicit grot.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:34, Reply)

that's quite a range you've got there
have you ever thought of offering your services as a weapon?
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:38, Reply)

a weapon
of aural torture? My voice is quite pleasant actually. Unless I'm drunkenly singing along to Aqualung (the Jethro Tull song, not the band).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:58, Reply)

not of torture
but if you can do funny things to a pacemaker there's got to be some use for it on the modern battlefield.

I fucking love that Jethro Tull song :-D
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:04, Reply)

Bloody hell
That's some vocal range.

Some of the so-called sopranos I've worked from time to time with can barely sustain a high E (8 semitones below your top note). Admittedly they're not exactly classically trained, but still.
( K2k6 is having Christmas issues, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:38, Reply)

ahah nice range
I have an A to B-flat range with ease but by fuck I'm glad I'm not doing the soprano stuff for my recital in november!
(Poppet Nothing like an almighty urgency-fuck!, Fri 29 May 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I have no shame.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:37, Reply)

-The Empress
That is one bitchin' range. Mine, well (or relatively well, I'm not a great singer) is about E below middle C to E octave above middle C, but when pushed I can get to the Bs on the outer edges of both.
S'not pretty though!

Special talent? I pick things up with my feet. And I once saw Tom Cruise in a supermarket.

I also have a "talent" for being funny unintentionally. I have toyed with idea of wanting to be a journalist, so at a careers evening, I got talking to a journalist, who has written for the Guardian. And towards the end of the conversation, he said "Well, you never know, we might see your name on the front page" I answered "Well, it would be good if you could spell it correctly"

I've got an odd, oft-mispelled/pronounced surname. Didn't realise I'd accidently made a Grauniad joke. I was about 14.
( Lampito you gave me a hand, I gave you a fist, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Deformed ear
My right ear has a lump as a result of it ripping when some cunt pulled it when I was younger.

It makes quite an audible click now when its wiggled.

Also, I can hang 1.5Kg off my nipple - tested during my student days.
(Spikey halls and boughs of Pickle fa la la la la, la, la, la laaaaa wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:50, Reply)

I have the talent
Of not being very funny.

This makes me sad :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Fri 29 May 2009, 15:53, Reply)

I was nearly in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves as an extra
I missed the bus and therefore the casting session.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:13, Reply)

I was an extra in 'Last Orders' with Michael Caine and Bob Hoskins
along with son #1. We had to dress up in 1940s clothes and pretend to pick hops. It was incredibly boring. I've seen the film, that's also incredibly boring and all that appears of us is the son's bum.
Nice.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:41, Reply)

I was in trhe video
for "It's Simple" by The Wonderstuff.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:57, Reply)

Linked to your sig...
The ringtone on my phone is a tweaked sample from "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"

...and a voice that is dark like tinted glass
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Fri 29 May 2009, 18:03, Reply)