Today I love my bottom unequivocally
I have Ghandi's Revenge from a dodgy tuna steak last night; the first mouthful tasted odd, then the second one just felt wrong. Not firm and meaty, more "melt in the mouth", like a leper's cock. So I rang work at 8.40am to say I'd be a little late, I'd be in as soon as the Immodium kicked in. Now my boss is a flakey fuckwit at the best of times, but today that has worked to my advantage. Despite my stating I'm sure it's the tuna and not a bug, she insisted that I didn't go in, "in case I spread it around the other staff".

WOO-HOO!

Have fuckwits/your bottom ever worked in your favour?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Today
my bottom is not working in my favour at all. It was the curry and beer last night.
( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Yesterday
I farted and it smelt really bad.

I thought of you.
( The Grammar Badger loves her new car even more than she loves cheese, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

hee hee
Thanks sweetie! x
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I once used my bottom to plug a hole in the keel of a sinking ship.

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Keel or hull?

( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I already said.
God, al, learn to read.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)

plugging a hole in the keel wouldn't do much good
if the ship were sinking
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:37, Reply)

This was the point I was making

( althechristmasgeordie is a bully and a cocksucker, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Well excuse me for not being an advanced seaman.
Alright, HULL then. I once used my bottom to plug a hole in the hull of a sinking ship.

And then I was keelhauled, matey.

Pedants.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

heh
seamen


why are camels called ships of the desert?

because they're full of arab se(a)men
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I know
Tightly didn't seem to grasp it, so I thought I'd help out
( Festivipros looks like he stands on kids' toys, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Heh.
Grasp it. Sounds a bit, you know, rude. Still, we're on the internet, don't say FUCK.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I did a crap about a week ago that looked exactly like expensive latte.
It was the same temperature too.

I posted about it on the internet.
(\/\/0R/\/\\/L\/S Handsome, gay, pædo, King of France, AIDS, Hitler, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I read that as
"I DUN A POOO"
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

A poo
at Pauls?
(Ethelred likes his own webhosting services, do you?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:58, Reply)

It's a good job I'm single at the moment otherwise my paramour would have to wear a gas mask when in my vicinity.
.
( big-girl's-baubles is going to ask someone out and it could be you, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

My bottom always works in my favour
It's a professional at expelling waste products and looks rather good in a pair of jeans.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

It also
looks rather spiffing out of the jeans too ;)
(Ethelred likes his own webhosting services, do you?, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Tuna is vile and disgusting and I will not condone it's usage in a cullonary sense.

( Dance, Gonz, where ever you may be, for you are the lord of the dance settee. Disclaimer: I'm joking, soz for potential offence., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Oi!
You're supposed to be ironing and sticking pages of Viz on the wall.

Not writing about your bottom on the internet.

And me tea had better be on the table when I get home as well.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:09, Reply)

yeah, i know
but i did a runny poo and rit about it on the internet innit coz thats all i can do if im not at werk lololololololol ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:35, Reply)

BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:44, Reply)

ON THE INTERNET

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Only
you dear internet mama.

Your bottom is, for all the wrong reasons and some of the right ones what with being perfectly formed and decorated with that lovely tat, legendary.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 12:57, Reply)