Mrs al is attending her first festival this weekend in the Isle of Wight
Now, i'm no stranger to smelling bad and wearing the same pants for five days straight, and I've also been to a few festivals in my time so I know how I cope.

However, as a member of the fairer sex (rather than a smelly hairy bloke accustomed to making do in shit conditions), is there anything I should make sure she has with her in order to make her weekend as enjoyable as possible?

I am a little concerned and I want to make sure she has a really good time. But I'm also a little pissed off as the jammy bitch got backstage passes off her friend so they can all re-sell their tickets and fund the weekends drinking that way.
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

get her to take baby wipes
the fancier and more anti-bacterial etc. the better.

also, a bottle of that alcohol-based hand cleaner.
( Festivipros you caught my nose in your left castanet, love, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Good advice
I'd also suggest that she takes Al in a big bag.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

I could be persuaded
Neil Young in playing on the Sunday night.

Unfortunately Razorlight are playing on the Saturday night.
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Bugger
Thanks for the reminder, I knew there was a reason I wanted to go this year!

Bollocks!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Has an atom bomb, a motherfucking atom bomb, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

babywipes
a can opener that has a bottle opener attachment on it as girls don't like using their teeth to open stuff.

plastic bags to put filthy things in

pot noodle
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Where do you get the hot water from?

( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Not my problem
I've eaten it cold, never did me any harm aside from a violent stomach upset
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Same pants for 5 days straight?
Go commando, surely?

_{Sorry, I'd come back with a helpful suggestion if I had any...}
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

You can get
put-in-and-leave shampoo and conditioner. Fresh hair = festival win.
( Papa Noel I like ta chewit chewit, I like ta CHEWIT!, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Tell her to man the fuck up

( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

You've not met my mrs have you.

( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

No I haven't
No wait I have. I met her at the bash Lusty groomed me for. Can't really remember her though.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Condoms.....
She might get lucky : )
( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Thanks.
Thanks a lot. I'm really going to enjoy my weekend alone now.
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Open relationships FTW!

( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

I don't believe that for a second.
I like my relationships like I like my children.
As secure as Fritzl's cellar.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Not bloody likely.
She feels the same too, so i'm not worried.


*is a little bit worried*
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:41, Reply)

I'm going to the IOW festival too
*winks*

*Isn't really*
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Like i'd be worried she might
go off with a cat face?
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Touche

( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Tell her
That everyone else is gonna be dirty so it doesn't matter.

I'm going to a festival this weekend, so I've stopped washing in preparation.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Good plan
*firm handshakes*
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Since when did you turn into JMG?

( big-girl's-baubles is the owner of some very fine Moorcroft, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Oh BGB
*althegeordie repeats himself*
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Yeah.
Seriously though, the sooner you stop being able to smell yourself, the better.

Also, take bread and peanut butter. Good, quick food, and won't go off from not being cold.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

My advice would be
when driving home, don't under any circumstances get out of the car and then get back in again.

That's a noseful of hurt just waiting for you right there.
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Yeah...
ACTUALLY, stop at the first service station and make use of their clean, clean toilets.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:41, Reply)

It's a really tough call
If you stop, open all the windows and replace the smelly air. But clean toilets after a festival, Oh, that's the closest I will ever come to seeing God.
( althechristmasgeordie is complicated, like a squirrel in a flan., Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I think the closest I ever came
To seeing God at a festival was after drinking a stolen optic-bottle of gin and several pills.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:47, Reply)

You drank pills?
You're, like, so out there man.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Yeah.
I'm breaking down the doors of normality, man.
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Woah
I'm in a particularly odd mood today. Oh, I'll probably have to leave at 10 on the dot tonight so there wont be time for a reach around. Sorry.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Heh,
No problem.
You'll likely be fed up of me by then anyway :p
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Sounds about right :p
I'll make sure I leave on time so I should actually be there at 6:30 unlike last time!
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Haha!
You mean I won't get bullied by children this time :(
( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:00, Reply)

No
I'll bully you to ensure that you're bullied by at least one child sized person.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Sure, if it makes you feel better.

( Cawl - King Of Wales, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

baby wipes, as above, lots of them
instant drying hand sanitiser

loo roll

money - even if there are cashpoints, the queues are a pain the the arse

torch and batteries

very waterproof boots and all her socks in case they are not as waterproof as she expected. Waterproofs if she has them. Waterproof hat/hood.

lots of plastic bags/bin bags to keep boots in and sit on and make into clothes and keep mud off stuff overnight

towel/big fat scarf for drying self/sleeping on/under/ using as sunshade

sunscreen

a litre of vodka with a vanilla pod in, in a plastic bottle

I've been to a lot of muddy festivals and these are all things I wouldn't be without. Oddly, even if it pisses down, there will be two hours, sometime, when it's blazing hot and everyone gets sunburn, hence the sunscreen.
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 12:31, Reply)

this can only be improved
by ensuring the plastic bottle is of the milk variety. That way, she can hook her belt through the handle thus leaving a free hand to grope nifty bums.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) sleighbellends has Boddies in her veins, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 13:52, Reply)