I really, really, really hate Danny Dyer.
Tell me how you would hurt him, the no-talent, pseudo-hard man, gurning twatsock.

- Bonus points for imagination, originality, and gore factor.
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:10, Reply)

Who is this Danny Dyer you speak of
Can I choose someone else?
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:12, Reply)

He is one of the cockney geezas that is usually in gangster films, acting very badly.
But yes, you may choose your own person. :)
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:15, Reply)

May contains traces of meme and linebreaks
She wasn’t over him...despite her best protestations, she just wasn’t. Seeing his status change to ‘in a relationship’ without warning, she vowed to get her revenge.

Stealing out in the dead of night in her Honda Accord, she stealthed over to his flat, quietly picked the lock, stepped over the sleeping cat and ninja’d upstairs.

Unholstering her samurai sword, she took a moment to take in his once beautiful face, now ravaged by too much cocaine and Viagra usage. She held her breath and plunged the sword in once, twice, three times, she was getting a rhythm now, it was almost sexual. On the fiftieth blow she stopped, panting for breath. She was plastered in his blood and precum, as was the photo of YM on the dresser beside him.

She slunk off into the night again, checking her tattoos for reminders of where he lived, sure that she’d remember who he was again.
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:20, Reply)

:O
Remind me, memes or not, never to piss you off. ;)
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Dude, it's not like for real
my swords don't have shoulder holsters ,)
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:28, Reply)

I do not know this man.
*remains calm*
( O Little Downs of Bethlehem [insert Al here], Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:15, Reply)

Ooh get you! You paragon of virtue!

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:17, Reply)

You know that's true.

( O Little Downs of Bethlehem [insert Al here], Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:53, Reply)

turn him inside out so the only company he has is his own whining

( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I would shake his hand and buy him a pint
but I'd get the order wrong and buy him a lager that he didn't ask for.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:16, Reply)

That is evil.
*shudders*
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:17, Reply)

I know, I'd get him a carling if he asked for a Stella
Mwah ha ha
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:18, Reply)

This post needs more YM

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

I haven't liked any of his recent stuff
but Human Traffic is a work of wonder and he's spot on in that.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:22, Reply)

You. AHT.

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Nice one bruvva!
He who dares, my son... he who dares!
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:26, Reply)

he alright in human traffic
ah, mindpiss
i should probably read down a bit
( mictoboy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:33, Reply)

Wasn't that John Simm?
I rather liked it. Reminded me of going to Whirl-y-gig back in the day
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:34, Reply)

you
are both correct

www.imdb.com/title/tt0188674/
(Killing in the name of Halfy keeps changing things, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:42, Reply)

hahaha
my sig was "Danny Dyer can just fuck off" for a few months last year
(Killing in the name of Halfy keeps changing things, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:39, Reply)

Is that really the best you lot can do?
Where's the gore? Where's the precum and Honda accords.

Fucking pansies
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:43, Reply)

Every time someone neglects posting his death ON THE INTERNET
He wins a little more
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:47, Reply)

Maybe I misjudged it.
Maybe he's the best actor ever and I just can't see it?
( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:51, Reply)

nope
he's a cunt
(Killing in the name of Halfy keeps changing things, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

He loves you
HARD
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Danny Dyer?
I'd kill him brutally to DETH using a combination of my own personal withering stare, followed up by a brutal strangling using one of my missus' bras after Dok had been wearing it. For a day.

And if that didn't work, I'd get a recording of PJM reading out Spak's post about pre-cum on loop, lock him in a room, and wait for him to gouge his own brains out with his a plastic spoon.

Then I'd run him over using a Honda Accord registered to JMG and lock his body in the boot.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:50, Reply)

Clickin' dis.

( Devil_In_Stockings has been an 'acceptable' boy this year, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:51, Reply)

WINNAH

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:52, Reply)

we are not worthy of such brilliance
ONLINE
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Oh hush now.
You'll make me blush.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 22:59, Reply)

as long as the blood pressure doesn't pop what's left of your scab
we're fine :)
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:00, Reply)

My scab popped last night.
There's just a hole now :(
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:02, Reply)

POIDH

( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Well, maybe not so much of a hole
As a very pronounced dent.
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:05, Reply)

nice
you, darling dad, are so, so classy
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Aren't I?
I'm also very tired; the weekend of sleep deprivation is starting to get to me :/
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:08, Reply)

i slept til 2pm
and am still shattered... my upcoming weekend of massive cycle rides looks pretty terrifying!
( ancrenne doesn't eat anything that can play video games, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:11, Reply)

I'm jealous
About the sleeping 'til 2pm thing that is.

Ah well, I'm off up the wooden hill now. Can't resist any longer.

G'night all!
( Davros' Granddad booked a holiday, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Reverse nikkyo projection
Any Aikidoka will tell you it really hurts* even if you can breakfall out of it. If you can't it's bye-bye usage of arm!


*If done with venom it's bowel-looseningly painful. DAMHIKT
(Captain Placid High, wide and handsome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 23:27, Reply)

I first discovered him in a "lads mag" left in a toilet
The same magazine had "Twat of the Week" and my first thought was"It should be that danny dyer guy on the other page"

What a fucking tool.

I wouldn't kill him, much better to make him live his life in agonising pain. oh and no arms or legs.
( PhillieJoe ho ho Merry Xmas Being clever is not as clever as being, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 13:11, Reply)