Question Time
Someone has parked their shitty BMW 1 series outside the roller door to my office. Now, I don't need to get in to the garage at the moment, indeed, I very rarely do, but it does irk me that someone is so fucking stupid that they think it's okay to park in front of a garage door on an industrial estate.

So, people of Off Topic, what can I do?
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Write a note,
or nuke it from orbit.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:03, Reply)

pssst
there their

also, create a fake parking ticket, attach it to their window with a note inside detailing how cretinous they are
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I don't know what you're talking about.
*looks innocent*
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

WWAFD
(What would Axel Foley do?)

Stick a banana up the exhaust.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Oh I like this one.

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

that's going to be how I live my life from now on
(not having a banana up my exhaust, although that has some appeal)
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:06, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHALOL
APEEL!
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Block it in.
And shit on the bonnet.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

BMW vs. Honda Accord
in some kind of Transformers-style battle.
( crackhouseceilidhband I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Throw in my mum
and you've got yourself an instant blockbuster.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, Reply)

blockball
( crackhouseceilidhband I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Could you wait for the owner
and physically threaten them?
I'd like to be able to do this but I'm smaller than most people and can't fight.
(Roota Claus Iz in ur Xpelair high-pitching ur whines, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, Reply)

This is al
he can only threaten them if they're a Roundhead.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

ok...
:D
(Roota Claus Iz in ur Xpelair high-pitching ur whines, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

He's implying I look like the laughing cavaliar
which in fairness, I do.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:16, Reply)

He does
It wasn't very funny to start with, and without knowing that it just became a bit weird.
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

As long as you don't look like the Mona Lisa
scary smug dead bitch
(Roota Claus Iz in ur Xpelair high-pitching ur whines, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:21, Reply)

I like
the fake parking ticket idea. Instead of a letter with a fine, write a letter telling them exactly how and why they touch ham. Go mad. Scare them. It'll be fun...
(berk was borked on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Anyone nearby with a forklift?
Warehouse or something? Stick it on top of a skip. And weld the doors shut. After filling it with shvaing cream. And write "BMW OWNING CUNT" on the doors with a large knife.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Edit
doors owner
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:23, Reply)

what,
weld the owner shut? I like this.
(Kitty O'Falalalala La La La La is a master corsetier since 1875, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:28, Reply)

or
"COCK PISS PARTRIDGE"
(Roota Claus Iz in ur Xpelair high-pitching ur whines, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Haha
Totally this.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:32, Reply)

yes, but as we know, that can easily be amended to read something less offensive

(Roota Claus Iz in ur Xpelair high-pitching ur whines, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Fire
Solves so many of life's problems
( Mary's sexbox explosion makes me The Jesus, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:03, Reply)

have a friend who works at a garage?
slip the guy £20 to tow it round the corner
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Or better still, get the reg plate
and get the owner's details off the DVLA, which are quite cheap I believe.

Then start sending nasty things to his house. Fake speeding tickets is a good one.
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Are you a member of the RAC?
Phone them up saying you've lost the keys. They turn up and prise the door open with some peculiar air bags or something.
(sandettie light vessel automatic My dog has no dictionary, how does it spell awful?, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)