alright?
practically killed myself at the end of last week (booze, spliffs, acrid tar smoke and no sleep, followed by playing a gig till 1am) and have managed to prolong my cold into its record third week.

how are you doing?
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:07, Reply)

I'm a monumental twat
but I'm not working today, so I'm a monumental lazy twat.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I'm fucking awesome
as usual
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

Improving.
I've had possibly the worst cold I've experienced for the past four or five days. I'm actually starting to feel human again, which is nice.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:12, Reply)

hungover and my lips are black from red wine.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Had a punch up with UB40?
Good on you, the bloody middle-aged wannabe black twats
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:14, Reply)

1/10
see me
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:16, Reply)

I'll see you alright

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:20, Reply)

I'll be waiting
round by the bins at lunchtime.

COME ON THEN
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Fight! fight! fight! fight! fight!
A tenner on Monty.
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

:C
You're probably right
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

It's only because Monty has a lot of pent up anger.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

So do I! Watch!
Grrrrrr...!

*rips vest*
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Your mum's going to have to sew that up now
You'll be grounded for sure.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Grounded?
She'll leather me purple
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I'll leather your purple

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

He would like that way too much

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 11:50, Reply)

is that like
'Color Me Badd'?
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I Wanna Sexx You Upp!
All night!
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Tenner on me too
What I lack in simian body hair I more than make up for in stature. Coupled with my face-punching form I'm practically guaranteed to win.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

No, I was drinking red wine last night and it has stained my lips.
I have no idea how you could have interpreted that so wrong... Do you have learning difficulties?
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I see everyone is on fighting form today.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

No we're fucking not.

( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:39, Reply)

YES YOU FUCKING ARE!

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Yes I do
But if you want some, I'll fucking bring it
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:21, Reply)

I think we'll both have more fun if we insult people that will take it badly.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

You callling my pint a poof?

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I'm still a bit iffy from my Friday night debarcle.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:16, Reply)

'debacle'
Wanky pedantry aside, what happened?
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

See several threads below and weep for me.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Excellent work
Sounds pretty minor. Chinning people or accidentally shagging an ugly is bad. Getting reet pissed and throwing up in private is practically saintly.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Yes but it cost me an extra £80 as I had to stay another night in the hotel.
I sat on my bed with my coat on for half an hour trying to work up the courage to leave my hotel room on Saturday morning but just couldn't face it.
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Some people can't handle their drink.

(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Sounds like a bloody good night though
there's nothing quite like getting blind drunk with strangers
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:21, Reply)

I was allegedly very well behaved though.
I didn't make a pass at anyone and only kissed some chaps on the cheek and told them how lovely they were, which was true.
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:27, Reply)

You need to work on getting your flirt on
if you want more squelchy pants action.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:38, Reply)

No point getting squelchy pants action if you can't remember it.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

...
you did put my head down your top though.
( Lampito asleep in the poppies, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Awesome

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

POIDH
/pander
( The Light In Giftwrap won't play poker with the Skull Spark Joker, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Ha!

( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

*plots revenge*
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I'm truly terrified.

( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

I'm fucking freezing still
Was unbelievably cold when I woke up this morning.

And my hand is sore, because my mates little brother decided to put chilli sauce on my lips while I was asleep, leading to me having to eat ice cream non stop for an hour to stop burning. It's not like heat from a normal sauce, it felt like a burn. Fucking hurt. The reason my hand hurts is because I wiped my mouth as I woke up, and didn't realise. As a result, I had the sauce on my hand all night, leading to it being rather sore.

Ah well, my revenge was amusing. I didn't know how heavy a sleeper he was, so I couldn't get him that way. Instead, I detuned his guitar, spinning the heads randomly. I then covered them in a thick layer of chilli sauce, before wiping away the excess, then reapplying, over and over. So while there is no visible trace of the sauce, it's absolutely covered. Should be fun!
( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

That's surprisingly inventive
for a girly haired emo. Well done.

Also, I'm really angry with you, if you hadn't recommended them I wouldn't be reading the Twilight books, and I really detest the characters, but I'm oddly drawn to finish all four of them.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:38, Reply)

you fucking bender
I watched some films this weekend.

Wanted - started off ok, a pleasasnt entertainment, Angelina looked tasty. Then it just got fucking shit.
Hellboy 2 - Much better than Kaol said it was.
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:40, Reply)

I liked Hellboy 2 also.
Fell asleep during Die Hard 4 last night. Top film that.
( Papa Noel is looking forward to filling your stockings, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

I saw Die Hard 4 for the first time last night
it started off really well, and then became so ludicrously over the top I was actually chuckling by the end. Overall I'd give it four out of five hairy nipples
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

I got mocked for this before
but I think Die Hard 4, while entertaining, was too far-fetched. The situations in the other ones, while kind of ridiculous, are at least possible, whereas all that computer stuff was just bollocks .
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I thought it was enjoyably ridiculous
the otehrs were better and more realistic, but I don't much care.

Suspension of disbelief, innit?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

I have no problem suspending disbelief
I was going to say that I just find the way computer stuff like that is shown in films to be silly and annoying, but I remembered that I watched Hackers again the other day, and I fucking love that film.
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Is that the one with Johnny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie?
What a turgid pile of nonsense that is
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

it is
but I really like it
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I liked it in war games
when he made the computer play noughts and crosses with itself.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I think the mocking is deserved
The plane situation in Die Hard 2: Die Harder, was equally ridiculous. But 4.0 was better becuase of the hilarious fight in the lift shaft. He hits that woman with a car and she still almost kung-fu's him to death until he drops her down a lift shaft by flying through the broken windscreen. Genius.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Yeah, we all love a bit of woman-beating
I was particularly impressed when he was punching her in the head as she lay on the floor
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I got an erection when he did that
It was embarrassing as my parents were in the room so I could only have a pocket wank.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

You didn't ask to sit on your mum's knee?

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

She was already sitting on mine

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:52, Reply)

sitting shitting
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

I thought Hellboy 2 was okay
I didn't rate Hellboy one all that much, it was alright, and my opinion on number 2 was pretty much the same. Enjoyable to watch, not worth buying.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

that was my opinion

( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

CONTROVERSIAL

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Wanted is fucking miserable
I tend not to watch current films but I saw that one and my snootiness was reinforced. What a mountain of faeces.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I'm ok with that
The girl is a whiny little shit, but every once in a while, there are some pretty genius one-liners.
( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

...if you possess a womb

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

And a vagina

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

and big hairy tits

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

it's vampire porn for teenage girls,
you should be ashamed of yourself.
(Psyc-Ho-Ho-Ho-Chomp **bearer of the waki crown**, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

It's not even porn
As DiT pointed out to me it's a thinly veiled allegory for sex.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Pfft! I wish they had vampire porn when I was a teenager.
The Bunty was dismal for that sort of thing.
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

yeah
the pages got soggy far too quickly.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Or that might have just been
because of your wildly gushing vag.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Oh I see.
Now the Grammer Badger is not around with her huge gaping vag then you're going to start on me having a wildly gushing vag. Well ok then, if it makes you happy.
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I wasn't going to turn it into a meme
I was just hypothosising that when masturbating as a young girl, your mimsy would have been fizzing like you had just poured in a bottle a diet coke and followed it up with some mentos.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

That's ok then.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:00, Reply)

'hypothesising'
Can't ANY of you halfwits spell?
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:13, Reply)

apparently not.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Ooooo! Someone got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

bed my bed

/crosses the line

DOUBLE EDITED
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:20, Reply)

You just can't help yourself can you?

( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:24, Reply)

No
I'm sorry
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

that is WAY over the line mate
seriously. WAY, WAY OVER IT.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

I apologise wholeheartedly
would you like me to edit?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

ideally

(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

There
better?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Poo head

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

I KNOW!
I feel bad about this one though, the poor bloke didn't deserve it, I might edit again
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)

That does not help much
For those that don't know, the reason I am so flabbergasted at this diplay of insensitivity is that my little sister actually is HIV positive and thus hilarious references to her 'AIDS infected clunge' don't really amuse me ever so much.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)

The best thing you could do
would be to get Bert Naughty Stepped.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

One more time
and I'm gone for good, can't even come back or anything
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I'm fucking tempted

(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Oh come off it
someone was bound to
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)

were they?
Were they fucking really?
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Yes
This place is full of AIDs jokes, if we were close friends you could expect sympathy, but we're not so you get yourself some jokes that are meant to be affectionately intended instead.

I have apologised and really didn't mean any harm, so let's all just be friends, shall we?
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

You should fuck him up
for that Monty
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

God this is killing me
...mustn't make more inappropriate jokes... must stop, already gone.. too far
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

There are AIDS jokes
and there are AIDS jokes, you miserable fucking cretin. Can you really not tell when some things really are not appropriate for a joke? Jesus fucking Christ you even know the whole harrowing story of how it happened (kidnap and repeated rape). And you REALLY think that's going to be funny?

You are so pitifully stupid I'm not going to bother myself with pursuing this but ONE MORE FUCKING CRACK LIKE THAT and I will.

OK?
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Awwww, don't let him off so easy
he'll never learn.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:46, Reply)

I'm trying to

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Rubbish!
You love the AIDZ so much you have it on your cereal
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Shhhh.....!

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:52, Reply)

sorry
*crestfallen*

I wasn't aware of the full story, that does indeed sound horrific, but when somebody says on a messageboard like this that their sister has AIDs my immediate reaction is to think that they're either joking or lying, I'm sorry that this is not the case, and I am sorry that I crossed the line and upset you.
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

*waves goodbye*

( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Cheerio

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

DO IT!

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

You're horrible!

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Oh, alright
spoilsport


(and seriously, apologies for over-stepping the mark)
( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I suppose
But if that's the case, it doesn't detract from the fact it's bloody well written.
( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:52, Reply)

But it isn't though
that's what really bugs me. The writing is poor, the characters are two dimensional and everything about it is rubbish. SO WHY CAN'T I STOP READING THE FUCKER!
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

because you love Edward

( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:00, Reply)

+ & have a vagina

( Monkeysex You can't box zombies, you fool, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

+ stripy fingerless gloves
+ look like Avril Latrine

+ your parents don't understand you OR your music
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:15, Reply)

My parents have never understood me
or my music.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

SAXON AND ANVIL
tend to have that effect.
(Monty Bah-HumBoyce : the voice of reason as always, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I liked how Rob Reiner
was outside selling CDs after the concert.
( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

war mun
( Lampito asleep in the poppies, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Ha!
That is all.
( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

I quite liked the writing.
But I know what you mean about it being pretty addictive.
( Agnostic Antichristmas X-Box Live: BouYatFastard, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I'm on sick leave
which means, Vipros, that I won't be going to Exeter tomorrow.
*SADFACES*
( crackhouseceilidhband I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Poorly crackhouse needs new girly bits.
: (
( big-girl's-baubles is still too scared to ask someone out : (, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I would like to see these

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

New girly bits AND I've been summonised by the shrink.
I am cursed, I think.
( crackhouseceilidhband I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

How sick are you?

( althechristmasgeordie swooping in there like a randy eagle., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

on a scale of one to your mum
I'm about an 8. (But I'd never have sex with a bicycle.)
( crackhouseceilidhband I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

ah, that sucks
because I had totally remembered and everything.

In an interesting twist of fate, I'm going to be in Bristol on Wednesday.

Had trains booked for me though, so haven't got time to hang about unfortunately
( Festivipros Breed crows, and you have lots of crows, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)