Roota was right.
www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?parent=843307

Hate me or whatever. No more flouncing or miserableness. Going back and reading all my shit...I squirmed in my chair.
As it is, the last couple months I got a new job and got promoted, and "Roger" was me trying to be that new persona.

To those of you I offended, I'm really sorry - genuinely.
Just seemed like this QOTW was the time to get it off my chest.
(nolongernuts, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 4:41, 128 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

This means absolutely nothing to me
but I'm still going to say you're an arse in order to feel better about myself in comparison.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 4:57, Reply)

Arse is nice.
Looking back, I would have been a well deserved cunt.
(nolongernuts, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 5:00, Reply)

I thought you were doing quite well.
Why bother to fess up, no one really gave a toss.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 7:05, Reply)

This

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:02, Reply)

so how much of 'Roger's' life is true?
fiance? visiting England?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 7:39, Reply)

^ Winner ^

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 7:42, Reply)

I bet they're not even a real starfish.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 7:43, Reply)

I bet her name isn't really Roger either!
*sleuths*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 7:45, Reply)

Maybe the roger is a verb
check our records for recent cases of sexual assault involving small sea-creatures.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Absolutely none.
Still female, still single. Actually loving it
(nolongernuts, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 7:55, Reply)

Shut up bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 8:25, Reply)

I knew you'd come up with something.
I said you'd either confess and use it for attention, or that 'Crystal' would suffer a terrible tragedy, so you could get attention.
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post822387
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post822476
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:06, Reply)

You're still in need of help if you're making a whole life up
It's not even like trolling for a laugh.
Bye. 'Ignore'.
EDIT: Actually I'll stick around until Monty reads this and feels like a FOOL!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:07, Reply)

Morning Sherlock

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:10, Reply)

shall we run a sweepstake on when we expect the next flounce to take place?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:21, Reply)

I'm putting her on ignore.
Actually, I'm torn between putting her on ignore (therefore avoiding the tedium), or keeping her on and laughing at her cycle of madness.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:25, Reply)

I'm keeping her on. At least for today to see the reaction of other people.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:27, Reply)

If you put her on ignore I'll keep you posted.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:27, Reply)

Thanks homegirl.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I always feel a fool, Roots,
One of the downsides of being a fool, unfortunately.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:27, Reply)

good time with your daughter at the weekend?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Fucking superb, thank you.
Went round after work on Friday night, had lots of fun, did the story/bath/bed routine and then had the usual weird night stuck on my own at my ex’s, so went to bed at ten. Got up early Saturday and had great, great fun doing drawing, Play-doh, building blocks and general larking about. Her mother had gone for a facial and manicure/pedicure (amazing how far benefits can stretch these days, for poor, single-mum victims of society isn’t it?) before coming home again – and joy of joys they fucked up her nails so I was with my little girl until 3pm.

Then I fucked off down my mum’s instead of going on the rampage – but instead of feeling healthy and energised I still feel like shit. Where’s the justice in that, I ask you?

Did you go to Carnival?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:41, Reply)

You may want to edit this bit:
story/bath/bad routine
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:44, Reply)

hahahah thank you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Avoided carnival
got out of London on Sunday - country pub, Enville Ale, food etc. Yesterday was spent at Gordon's wine bar on Villiers St, drinking chilled Beaujolais and dry white port, accompanied with lots of cheese.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Very civilised.
I was at the Garnacha and manchego yesterday afternoon, myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

No.
I only want you to feel a fool over this.
And for that creation you ate yesterday. What animal was that? Seagull?
Have fun this weekend? Did she do the poo dance? Is that passé now?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Seagull? Eh?
Great fun, thankyou. The poo dance is consigned to history now, sadly...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I was implying you ate cack at carnival
But I know you better than that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:59, Reply)

You know what, I might not have much of a life
but if all you can do is internet sleuth.......
(nolongernuts, Wed 1 Sep 2010, 8:05, Reply)

I'm sat here eating me special K oats and honey variety wondering
what the fuck is going on? Who is Roger really? How the fuck has Roota not been signed up for MI6 yet?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Roota is with MI6 dumb arse.
She replaced that fellow in a bag from the other day.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:32, Reply)

I'm still waiting for clarification on my first two questions.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Oh I see.
1. Fuck off
2. Ditto.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:40, Reply)

excellent point, well made however If I may just add, you're a smelly bastard.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:59, Reply)

You're not wrong Bobby.
I am a bit whiffy today.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I reckon she's the one who killed him.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:46, Reply)

It is for the good of the country.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:47, Reply)

He had loose lips

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:49, Reply)

You scare me.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Only mentals need fear me
I never spot a funny harmless puppet.
But a mental, seeking validation of their fake life from THIS gatherng of miscreants, well, I can just smell them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:57, Reply)

And this week on Soap...
Burt does something stupid, Jessica is confused and the aliens kidnap Roger.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:34, Reply)

I'm going for a shower as I smell however by the time I get back
I want answers!!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:34, Reply)

"Confused?"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:34, Reply)

You will be!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I used to love Soap.
I don't think it gets enough credit for what followed.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:42, Reply)

^This

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:04, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/confess/post843307

I said this weeks ago.
Thanks to a new IP she slipped through the net but I have it DOCUMENTAYED that I still thought it was her. Not Edmund.
I have the senses of a shithouse rat, me...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:34, Reply)

You are Poirot.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:36, Reply)

It was the 'fish' in the name
It was the cod-american shit
It was the blissful life just waiting for a mining disaster
It was the beautiful fiance and pet dog

She's the female Edmund.
How is she different from Edmund?
She even gazzed me her cock and invited me to the opera*


*may contain lies
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:39, Reply)

genius my friend
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

You want a picture of a cock? I can get you a picture of a cock, just say the word and I'll find one.
It's easy to get pictures of cocks these days, hell, I can even get it painted with the right shade of green. There are ways, dude, belieive me, there are ways.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Oh, ok then, fair enough.
How many bumhole pics do you want in exchange for mortgage payment? I got a series of pullies and mirrors so can get any angle(s) you want.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Oh my god you're such a bully
Roger's said sorry. He's got a wedding to arrange with Crystal, and then there's his mum, whos legs aren't what they were. He lives in a little place called Farmville you know.
Oh no wait, it was all lies :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I don't read the rest of /Questions, so haven't really invested anything emotionally, so it doesn't bother me.
I just want someone to pay my mortgage in exchange for some bumhole pictures.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

But if you wish to see my colon, and I don't know, it's not my cup of tea, you might but I wouldn't know about it...
... because i don't really want to see other people's colons. I'm not saying it's sick and disgusting that you want to see my colon, you wouldn't be the first, a doctor or two has wanted to see it before, and I don't think they're sickos. I'd want to be drugged up for that, a colonoscopy is quite painful, I want the drugs that mean I can't remember anything, that'll be for the best. I suppose I could get a video of the whole thing if you want, I don't know, it's not my kind of thing, do people who like to look at people's colons like video over pictures? But anyway, how many months do I get for a good pic of the upper colon?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I dreamt I had a colonoscopy last night

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Was there an owl sitting on your window ledge?
THAT IS THE SECOND SIGN !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

SHIT!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:55, Reply)

You're going to find yourself knocked up pretty soon, but the dates from when you last *wolf whistle* won't match up.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Sleuthatron!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Any chance of that promotion, Guv?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 8:54, Reply)

On a serious note, don't worry, I really don't care, and won't give it a second thought.
I think I like the idea of creating an account with a made up 'perfect' life, I don't know the details of it yet, but I'd have a dog. There is nothing wrong with a bit of fantasism, I quite like roll play myself. Without a bit of fiction, life would be quite borring.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Bleedin hell.
That is all I have to say on the matter.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I'll have to get two months for a 'bleedin hell'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/confess/post843307
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I didn't believe this was the case
purely because I couldn't bring myself to believe anyone could be that awfully retarded and freakish.

Humanity never fails to surprise me at the depths to which it can lower itself.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Oh, but you could believe that I was a paranoid witch-hunter?
Some BFF you are.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

not at all
you sniffed out Ed's latest incarnation swiftly enough. I thought that just maybe you had become flushed with success and were casting around a bit.

Also, I hadn't been paying much attention ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I demand my badge back!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

badge?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

I handed in my Sheriff's badge
when I had to pretend to accept that Roger wasn't wbm/bsm
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

ah ok
yeah, you definitely deserve it :-)

*shakes head at self*
Farmville? I can't remember if I saw it and just dismissed it or if I didn't see it. I'd hope that sort of thing might have rung a small alarm bell.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Check Roger's reply
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post822402#post822420
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I'm clearly an idiot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

You're all idiots
But on the plus side, the next time my boyfriend calls me overly-suspicious or Machiavellian, I shall refer him to this and two cases of Edmund and he will have to just trust my hunches.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

You basically have carte blanche
to suspect anyone you like of pretty much anything, now.

You must feel like Miss Marple when she is vindicated (at the end of every single fucking story) for her suspicions.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Yep
"Oh, batty old roota is off again, probably been on the white cider..."
But no longer!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

you'll get sent for when Scotland Yard are drawing a blank.
as your BFF do I have to chronicle your adventures?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

You do.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

ah man
I'm really bad at taking notes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

where's Maddy Roota, where's Maddy?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I'll never tell

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I know were parts of her are...

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:33, Reply)

fucking drama queen

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Roger, you pitiful specimen.
Do you not think 'why have I done this?' What's the underlying problem here?

It's not even like you made up some self-aggrandising personality - just an amiable American.

What do you think is so terribly wrong with your actual personality that leads you to hide behind the guise of another person? I know this makes me a terribly naive internetter but I just don't understand.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Aw, you're still calling her Roger.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:12, Reply)

And I will do for good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

it could be the trail of dead that leads to its actual personality

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Eek

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:14, Reply)

What kind of a fucking mongol
takes pleasure in being congratulated on your proposal of marriage being accepted - when you made the whole thing up?

You fucking spastic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:20, Reply)

You're jealous cos you're not engaged to Crystal
She's well fit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:21, Reply)

maybe she's come to terms with an addiction to meth?
it would explain a bit...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Oh my god you've got it!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

you a
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:22, Reply)

You have helped me answer my own question.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:23, Reply)

See also: trying to meet up with people
when you're lying about who you are.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

do you think the trip to Manchester was made up?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Yeah
Manchester's not even a real place.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I'm so relieved to hear that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I actually live in Exeter
you look nice today.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:38, Reply)

awesome
that'll make life much easier, and yet harder at the same time.

thanks :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Yeah what was she going to do?
Stilts and a beard?
Did you text 'Roger'?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

most useful and accurate strikethrough ever

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I enjoy the change of tone between your two posts.
Excellent work.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

This person has a mental illness. You can put them on ignore if you want.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Fuck no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I will soon
Promise, Dad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Thank you. You always were my most troubled and troublesome child.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Calm down, it's really not a big deal.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:31, Reply)

It kind of is in some respects
the whole marriage proposal story was total bollocks. We were really supportive about everything and she was just lying to us.

I know it's Only The Internet, but tricking people into accepting you after you've been a dick is not cool.

If she wanted to come back she should have just come back as batshit or workboreme and apologised. This just adds to the stuff that annoyed people in the first place.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Yeah, it's a bit phsyco to make up a life in order to get 'in' with a comunitee, but considering how a lot of us treated her....
... It's not the most supprising thing that she invented a new life.

I can see why some people are hurt by it. But it's hardly the end of the world. I feel sorry for her more than anything.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

This x10000
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I do feel sorry for her
But why does she have to come back here and try to be accepted and do lying? B3ta isn't important. And if we're such cunts why not leave us to rot and go do dramaz at another board?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Fucked if I know.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Miraclefish is attempting to care in any way, shape or form about this...
...nope, sorry.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:24, Reply)

who is this?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:27, Reply)

And YOU can watch your step as well, sunshine!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:29, Reply)

ooooh she's onto you Ecto,
be afraid!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

No, I'M Rogerthestarfish.

(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:36, Reply)

no, you rogered a starfish
there's a big difference
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Hahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

a my brown
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Happy Candle Day
TLIC
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

ooh I hadn't realised
cheers!
*waits expectantly for presents*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

well thank the good lord bejebus that's all cleared up
I was really worried for a minute there
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Shut up Bert

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I've got two cats
:'(
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)