Anyone free on Sunday in London?
Preferably male and wouldn't mind looking menacing?

I picked up my new bike yesterday afternoon and had the old one knicked on the Pento road in the evening. FUCKING CUNTBAG MOTHERFUCKERS.

I'm off to Brick Lane Market on Sunday with a D-Lock and a crowbar.

Alt. Q.
What fills you with unbridled happiness? Someone make me feel better.

Edit, sorry LiC.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:02, 95 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Umm what?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Keep up
www.cyclechat.net/topic/33942-brick-lane-market-the-main-sales-venue-for-stolen-bikes/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Oh silly me,
I should have been keeping up on my cycling blogs mentioning the criminal activity in another city.
ffs
(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I thought that MK was a town, not a city.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

That's communist propaganda.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

they've taken a bike off your hands
i suggest putting an ad in the local paper.

it should read THANK YOU.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:05, Reply)

I've still got another
and there's much more surface area on an SLK for scratches...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

You should ensure that they drive you there in Honda Accord.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

*Drive you there in their Honda Accord
Crowbar is for removing any locks they might have on it, my D-Lock is to immobilize it.

It's a fairly common thing to do.

www.lfgss.com/thread123.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

No as you're a cyclist. Even though I am in London & free on Sunday.
Stop running red lights.

Alt: Cyclists having painful accidents.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

I swore at a cyclist for stopping on a roundabout
what I hadn't realised is that he had stopped as he had almost been knocked over by a stupid woman in a chelsea tractor who was on her phone at the time.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

people driving whilst on the phone is annoying. Driving a chelsea tractor is annoying. The resulting annoyance of the combination is greater than the sum of the parts.
I regularly see women driving & applying make-up at the same time. This is vain as well as dangerous.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

even i
don't do this. well unless i'm in absolute stand-still traffic.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Bollocks
when the traffic stops your hands are down your pants quicker than you can say jack robinson, you disgusting serial masturbator.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Mercedes offer vibrating seats on some models - trufax

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

rachelswipes has a massive dildo sticking out of the drivers seat
she said she needed it as a safety feature so she didn't slide off the shiny leather when she braked hard.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:37, Reply)

it's called a HANDBRAKE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

She loves lorry drivers looking down on her when she's having a rub - hence owning a convertible.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

you two
should get a room, your fantasies are disturbing everyone else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I don't run red lights
Thank you for answering though.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

What fills me with unbridled happiness?
The release of a new zombie film.
( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Alt A
My son or daughter's smile (passes sick bag round)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Alt Q: random presents
and a light at the end of a tunnel
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)

unless it's an approaching train

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

that's reminded me of a Metallica song I haven't listened to in ages
nice one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

on Reload?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

S&M

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

No leaf clover?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

bingo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Dance little tin goddess
DANCE DAMMIT.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

this
most days at least
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I love your dog so much

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Its a cool dog
Wants
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

she's fucking craaayzeeeeeee

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

she's bad
I'm getting her a training collar this weekend.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Must be bigger by now.
New pic please?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

1
2
3
4
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I might be able to come along.
As you know, I look fucking NAILS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:33, Reply)

yeah, Jimmy Nail(s)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

She's lying.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:35, Reply)

This response needs more attention
it is very witty.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I was trying to think of an equally witty response using another of his songs
but I couldn't work "Crocodile Shoes" in
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

'another of his songs' ie 'the other one'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:54, Reply)

He sung the lyrics on "Diesel Power" for The Prodigy
most people think it was Kool Keith (AKA Dr. Octagon) but I know the truth
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Whatever you say, Fatweazle.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Empty house LoL.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

this is revenge for calling you a noisome turd isn't it, arse-chapeau?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Oui monsieur

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

you intolerable shitface

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Yes, you do look like Jimmy Nail
Edit - *bangs head on desk*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Manicured, polished and painted?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

He's a cyclist. You can't help one of them.
Unless arranging to meet up is a cunning ploy to steal the new bike & throw it in the canal.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

My mate's wife said I looked like Jimmy Nail the first time I met her
My response - "Fuck off you cheeky bitch"

I dont, do I?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

All northerners look the same to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Good answer
You soft Southern shite
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

More like Kevin Whatley.

( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Cock
This is not much of an improvement
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Too many teeth,

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Kick her in the cunt with your crocodile shoes

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

You are rather
menacing, in a gay way.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I'd love anyone to come incidentally

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Sex fantasy of himjim ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Sex fantasy of most people
surely?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Errr, thanks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Long hair joke
fell flat on it's face. Just not in the mood.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Alt: seeing people have painful accidents

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Like this one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0_BULcHW3U

*props to Lab for showing me this
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Yes, precisely that sort of thing.
I like to watch pensioners slipping on ice and breaking their hips, too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Watching people get struck with a tazer is normally entertaining:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=34p3BBu4eco
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I really think that you should remove that link out of respect for Moaty.

(Cave Duck, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

This doesnt make sense!
But it is funny
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

That one where the kid kicks through a fence and it traps his leg is mint.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8g0XfFKNdg
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

You really should put a warning on that

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)

that clip pleases me no end
that little scrote got exactly what was coming to him
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:50, Reply)

chav getting maced & arrested - I like this more than I should
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ScmLo9bPqk&feature=related
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I like the one with the chav getting in the face of some guy on his own doorstep
The guy shows commendable restraint before decking the scrote.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Kick in the groin is always a favourite

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Hello there TeeGee
Someone with ‘shop skillz should whip you up a personalised version of the CBGB’s logo.

WHY HAS NO-ONE DONE THIS?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Only a few people know of CBGB ?

( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

And those people don't care.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:44, Reply)

BECAUSE THEY'RE 'PUNKS'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Like Courtney 'Skeletor' Cox.
Who used to wear a CBGBs t-shirt on 'Friends' after the PR people decided they needed rebranding. They also had got Jennifer Aniston a 'Kick out the Jams - MC5' T and the lanky twat a Sonic Youth one. (It was the cover with fridge, fact fans)
Problem is you can only polish a turd so much before you realise it is still a turd.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Ah. That had not occurred to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Not everyone is as hip and cool as us you know.

( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

You could have a tshirt that read
'BGB - OMFG'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I hadn't heard of it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

It's like 'Leslie West' all over again.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Thinking about it, it would work for you too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I do not have mad photoshop skillz.

( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Neither do I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

R C
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

That was way beyond my skillz
As was removing the 'U' from OMFUG
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Woo!

( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Sep 2010, 18:15, Reply)