wank pot ouchiness
In the nineties there was a show called eurotrash… it was great and, for the time, rather wank tastic.

In one of the show’s features, was a Japanese product; a wank-pot, this was a disposable plastic pot, not unlike a pot noodle, filled with a textured gel, which could be warmed up and then the whole contract slipped over your manhood to simulate the lecturer you were lusting after at the time.

Shortly after watching the above, I was preparing the wholesome student feast that is Pot Noodle - when I had a great idea… If I was to use just a little less water I could achieve a more ‘vaginal’ consistency of the potted vegetarian goodness.

Initial finger-testing went very well indeed and I settled down in a comfy chair and slowly slipped the prosthetic Ms Summers over my manhood.

It felt good. It felt really good.

Relaxing a little more, I leant back into the cushions, closed my eyes and eased my member deeper into the inviting beef and tomato goodness.

It was at this moment when the centimetre or so of collected, not-so-long-ago-boiling water dribbled and then spilt down over my bell-end, down the underside of my penis and over my testicles. 2 milliseconds of intense pleasure very quickly turned into 2 minutes of excruciating agony and finally into good 2 days of discomfort.
( zacherynuk @echo off, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 8:44, 8 replies)

You'd think you'd have remembered right away
that there's always a bit of unsoaked-up hot water at the bottom of a Pot Noodle!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 9:59, closed)

He couldn't reach that far

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 13:06, closed)

More to the point
Did you finish eating the pot noodle? Don't leave important details like that out of stories in future ;-)
(Bappage, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 10:27, closed)

You should sell that idea to an american film studio
though they probably don't have pot noodles over there so they'd change the food product to a hot pie or something.
( broadsword w⚓, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 12:38, closed)

Arf!

( Bob Todd whee, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 16:24, closed)

The Americans have pop-tarts...
Maybe they could use those? I'd like EVERY American male to be forced to shag a fresh-out-of-the-toaster pop tart. That way there wouldn't be so many of the dumb, fat, warmongering fucktards. There. I've said it.
(downhill without brakes . It was the worst day of my life, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 8:17, closed)

i once sat on a lasagne
fuck you and your shit story
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 12:42, closed)

Was it a bombay bad boy?

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Mon 2 Aug 2010, 12:00, closed)