Not overheard by me..
But overheard by the other good patrons of Woking pool a few months back. Me and my 4 year old were in the changing room getting out of our trunks and into our clothes when he exclaims really loudly 'DADDY YOU HAVE A REALLY BIG WILLY DON'T YOU!'

The looks I got from the people exiting the adjacent cubicle from us at the same time were priceless.

Length? Well I suppose compared to his it is....
( DeadEyeDick, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 13:24, 1 reply)

Story from about this time last year
I was on the bus one morning, and there was also a kid, travelling with someone I assume to be his older sister (she looked about 16, he looked about 5, both in school uniform), and he was asking loads of questions.

The concept of the emergency exit seemed to fascinate the kid, and so he spent 10 minutes asking questions about it. He then asked "Is it so superheroes can save us if we're in trouble?" She agreed, and told him it's so all superheroes can help, even if they don't all have super strength.

When he asked about this, she started going on about the emergency services. I only heard about the Fire Brigade being super-brave and the Paramedics being super-clever (her words) before I had to get off the bus, but this kid was loving it, and from the grins a few of us were exchanging, so were we.

Just really made me smile.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:29, 6 replies)

Bit late, this one...
...but reading some of the parent/child conversations below has reminded me:

When I worked down in that London many years ago, I happened to look out the window and see a particularly cute little girl of a very tiny age wandering along, seemingly alone. A colleague noticed her too and remarked "Fucking hell, she's a bit young to be out without her parents"

At that moment a young woman came into view and bellowed at the top of her lungs "Come ON! Will you fucking keep up, you stupid little cunt!"

O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I can keep secrets..
its the other people i tell that can't.
(djgalaxe, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

In the toilets at work
Someone in the next cubicle was squeezing out what I could only imagine to be a particularly sloppy shit.

Overheard secretions?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Not a secret, but overheard in the office
Girl 1 - Oh my God, did you hear about Kate at one of our resellers?
Girl 2 - Kate Kate?
Girl 1 - Yeah, Kate!
Girl 2 - Whaaaaaat?!
Girl 1 - Well she had a brain tumour and died. She died Saturday.
Girl 2 - Oh my God! I knew she was ill. Oh my God!
Girl 1 - Yeah I know!
Girl 2 - Did you know her? Are you going to the funeral?
Girl 1 - Erm, kind of knew her. Well, we were friends on Facebook.
Girl 2 - Oh my God! What you going to do?
Girl 1 - I just deleted her as a friend.

I have to work with these people.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

officially secret
For my current job I've had to sign the official secrets act. I could tell you what I've overheard.... but then I'd have to kill you.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 10:09, 1 reply)