Humbug!
I was nine years old and the school was bucking the trend of awful nativity plays with an ambitious stab at Dickens' A Christmas Carol instead. What made this so much better was that there were proper characters for nearly everyone in the class to play. No more being palmed off with "second sheep", "person at Inn" (no line) or "Yonder Star"; all of which were on my acting CV from previous years.

Furthermore I landed a decent part. Okay, I'd really wanted Scrooge or one of the ghosts but playing Bob Cratchett knocked wearing a bed-sheet and shining a torch at three shepherds into a cocked hat.

The opening scene was beautifully simple. Two desks on stage, Scrooge's front and centre with Bob's slightly behind and to the side. Each, in turn, illuminated by a single spotlight as the characters introduced themselves; Scrooge saying how he believed in hard work and that Christmas was a nonsense before moving on to Bob extolling the joys that Christmas can bring.

I'd expected to be nervous but, sat behind Bob's desk in the dark as the audience slowly quietened, waiting for Claire Williams to do her Scrooge bit before I blew them away with my monologue, I was *buzzing* with excitement. This was real theatre!

Claire's light comes on, she stands up, and is away; "My name is Ebeneezer Scrooge and I run a tight ship. I have no time for joy or frivolity and detest Christmas. It's a poor excuse to rob a man's pocket every December 25th and a humbug! HUMBUG!"

Her light goes off and she sits down. The audience are silent, you could hear a pin drop. This is actually pretty damn good. I clear my throat ready for my moment to shine.

My light comes on. This is it. I stand up and, addressing the audience in my finest theatre voice, loudly proclaim: "My name is Bob Catshit."

I was a tree the next year.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 18:56, 2 replies)

how long did it take
for the other kids to stop calling you bob catshit?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 19:30, closed)

:o)
Some still do.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Tue 23 Aug 2011, 19:42, closed)