Posh Car launch
A few weeks back I was invited to attend the launch of the hideous "new" Porsche Cayenne - yes, the one described by the mad Mayor of London as "driven by fucking idiots".

As you can probably imagine, this was quite a plush affair with wandering temptresses armed with posh party food and the obligatory free bar. Whilst contemplating exactly why this car is so hideously ugly (yet technically brilliant) I was accosted by a floppy haired young oik with sleek black namebadge. At around the same time, a stench of unclean armpits wafted into my nasal receptors. Whilst nodding sagely at his banter trying to establish where this repugnant odour was coming from, I caught the eye of a young lady around 30 feet or so away. She'd obviously been speaking to the salesboy earlier and mouthed "kitchen, e-sticks", which met my quizzical response. She then repeated this phrase with a more pronounced mouth, leaning forward slightly with slightly bigger eyes - "kitchen, e-futch-een-sticks". Completely ignoring the salesboy now, I turned my head slightly and cupped my ear to hear her repeat "IT'S HIM, HE FUCKING STINKS" just as the crowd noise appeared to drop to a whisper.

Not quite sure who was more embarrassed, stinky, not-so-posh-bird or the blind bespectacled designer responsible for the ugly fat car who had just taken to the rostrum to talk about his fabulous creation.

I can only conclude that in a misguided attempt to counter the environmental effects of the car, stinky salesboy had decided not to use deodorant that evening.
(bridggar, Tue 27 Mar 2007, 15:13, Reply)