Klunk Klick,, you stupid prick
This is possibly a pearoast, I know I've posted it somewhere....

OK, picture the scene:
My mate Gormless Graham sitting in his old Bedford van at the traffic lights, waiting to turn left. Next to him waiting to turn right, is a Jam Sandwich.

Graham looks down into the police car, to see the policeman in the passenger seat looking up at him, expressionless face, mirror shades, like the cop from Terminator 2.

The policeman sits there for a moment then to Graham’s astonishment, does a rude hand gesture, implying Graham is, well, a wanker.
Graham, startled, looks ahead.
“No way. NO WAY. That copper just did the wanker sign at me! Surely not?”

He looks back down.

The cop is still looking up, and still gesturing long slow monkey-spanking strokes with his right hand in Graham’s direction.

“Shee-it, he’s definitely doing it, he’s definitely calling me a wanker” thinks our Gra.
At that moment, the lights change.
Graham sees his chance, leans out of the van (those old Bedfords had sliding doors) and sticks his Vs up at the policeman, screams “Fuck You” and guns it into the turning. Ha, that showed him.

Seconds later, the inevitable siren as the patrol car hammered up behind him, having done a quick about-turn.

Graham, shaken at being insulted by a strange cop who then has the temerity to chase him when he retaliates, pulls over immediately.

“OK sir, why exactly did you feel it was necessary for that little outburst at the lights?” began the exasperated Mr Plod
“You started it”
“I beg your pardon sir, I did nothing of the sort.”
“You did. I was sitting there happily minding my own business, then you looked up and started making hand signals calling me a wanker.”

The cop thought about this for a second and said softly
“Sir, I was trying to tell you to put your seat belt on.”

Do the actions, then you can see Graham's point.
(Rsoles, Fri 6 May 2011, 21:26, 1 reply)

This is brilliant.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 8 May 2011, 15:07, closed)