Family
Honestly, it really doesnt matter what you give or get, as long as you are with the ones you love - thats most important.

My father had a mini-stroke yesterday morning at 5 am, spent the day in the hospital, CAT scan and MRI indicate that this was the 3rd one he had in the last several weeks - we didnt know. I know that trinkets and bobbles are great, but I think this year, having dad there, alive, is going to be more important than anything. He is coherant, no face droop, some weakness in his right arm, but other than that - in good shape (despite what happened - and his myriad of other health issues).

So I know I posted about giving my parents money for gambling, I think being there, after the reality check yesterday, is going to have more meaning this year.
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)

top gear
Mr P cannot drive and I only passed my test just over a year ago (I'm 35 - he's 43). We own a 1999 Renault Clio (top car, reliable as fuck for a Froggy invention). However he is obsessed with watching re-runs of top gear on Dave. He also cannot cook, well, he can do a good egg and chips or bacon butty, but he'd never last a minute with Nigella, he he, but loves watching cooking programmes. Go figure.

Anyways, Amazon have 'Where's Stig' - like a saddos version of Where's Wally for half price at the mo, about 4 quid. A good pressie for anyone who can't drive, but can see.
( no longer a user, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Not me, not a friend of a friend, but....
One man doing all men everywhere a favour by giving quite possibly the worst present ever:

boards.fool.co.uk/Message.asp?mid=9723862

(Don't think you need to register to see this)

After that, two loaves of bread seems positively caring.

GL
(GoodLord doesn't have time for sigs., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:21, 2 replies)

In at the death
Last Christmas I got my wife the best present (well one I knew she really wanted) an awesome Dr Who Scarf circa Tom Baker... 16 foot of scarfy wonder. She now wears it all the time when cold.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Slightly off topic...
Years ago I used to buy my brother the same present every year: he used to collect those Burago model cars...so every year the present looked exactly the same. And so it was fairly predictable.

One year, I bought him the car anyways but wrapped up some pencils, a pencil sharpner and some screwed up paper and put that under the tree. It kept him guessing all the way to Christmas day!
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Couldn't help myself
Last night my Mrs said: "What am i gonna get my lion for Christmas?" Refering to me.

Before I could even think, I replied: "Funny thing that is, I was just thinking what I could get my hippo."

Dog house? Yep. Bigtime.
(Ramjet, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 11:04, 2 replies)

Christmas
I really want to get my daughter a moped for Christmas, she's had a bit of a shitty time of it recently with health issues and stuff, and she's turning 16 just before Christmas. Not sure if I'll be able to afford it, but I'm gonna give it a damned good try. Crossed fingers.
(Freakmandu, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 10:44, 10 replies)

Got my daughter a lovely pushbike for 20 quid from a car boot sale,
practically new. She's delighted, especially as her boyfriend was going to buy her one for xmas and will now be shelling out for something more interesting.
Result!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:26, 4 replies)

Awwww
I am genuinely shocked at how many of you appear to be poor. It's a bit like reading a fucking Dickens novel. But instead of taking the piss, I fully understand. My parents are in a bit of fiscal mither, and mum is panicking that she can't buy us owt. No problem, lucky old us, we don't want or need anything.

So this year we're going to spoil my ma and pa but on the sly so they don't realise and feel bad. When we go round on boxing day we will take a few nice bottles of plonk/booze, some high quality grub and a few little pressies ranging from comedy tat to useful items etc. Really looking forward to it!

Anyways, this year I am getting my mrs everything she wants except ugg boots. They're fucking hanging.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:01, 7 replies)

Cocaine & champagne
Admittedly I bought it all for myself...the best kind of white xmas ...woke up and for a split second I didn't know where I was...then remembered that I'd cleaned/reorganised my bedroom whilst in a frenzy...
Now currently HATING the vast majority of my work colleagues (unrelated)
(catflap I went out with Nicholas Parsons, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 5:58, 3 replies)

Chinese food
and bourbon. We're Jews.


Actually, though, I can't stand spending stretches of time with family; Jew-Christmas is taking place in Toronto's Chinatown with my friends.

And dear Santa: If the whole "Jewish" thing turns out to be wrong, and I'm destined to burn in hellfire, I'd appreciate a pre-emptive consolation of more bourbon. We might run out.
(Phaedron Dizzying epiphanies from the bottom of my pint., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 0:12, 3 replies)

Oooh, just remembered one from a few years back.
We had a Secret Santa thing at work, and the guy that drew my name out of the hat absolutely fucking hated me. With a passion. Every day him and I would exchange harsh words and HR just let us get on with it.
It was well known how much we hated each other.

That Christmas, our company had done well, so we were flown out to the HQ in Arizona (including wives/husbands/partners etc) for the annual Xmas bash.

The budget for the Secret Santa was $10.

The guy who picked me..who fucking hated my guts...bought me a beautiful leather-bound edition of the Complete Works of Shakespeare which I know cost him closer to $100. He'd asked around my co-workers asking what I liked and they all came up with "reading...she reads a lot".

I had tears in my eyes when I opened that, and most of my coworkers were also a bit flabbergasted. I'm still friends with him to this day :)

Edit: And for my boyfriends Christmas present, I just bought tickets to fly out and see his son in Arizona in March for 4 nights. He'll like that.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 23:56, 2 replies)

My wife would like a halter
For her horse

Honest
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:42, 5 replies)

Silly but
my wifey was pregnant last Christmas day - so my little brilliant daughter is the best present!

:)
(Mr Johnny Cash eating kittens since, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:27, 2 replies)

This year
I'm knitting a scarf for my brother, since it's his turn to have one knitted for him. He usually gets me really thoughtful presents for Christmas so I think he deserves a handmade scarf.
Not so an ex boyfriend of mine. One year I knitted him a scarf and it took me aaaaages. The wool was quite expensive (£5 a ball, 5 balls, plus new needles) and it looked amazing.
In return he bought me a DVD of a show I didn't even like and that *I'd told him I didn't like* that cost about £10. It was wrapped in tin foil. It was a very selfish gift because he liked the show and I didn't. And it didn't even work!
If you want a handy guide what not to get your loved one, here are a few examples of 'gifts' he gave me.
1. A bag of chocolates that he then ate most of. Just buy an extra bag for you if you know you want some!
2. Underwear that didn't fit, after I told him repeatedly and even wrote down what size I was. That extra 'A' was not a spelling mistake!
3. The conductor's score for an orchestral piece of music. WHAT THE FLAMING HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT. Retard. I cannot play 20 instruments at once, nor do I have a pet orchestra to conduct, so why did he buy it?? Was I supposed to imagine the different parts in my head?
Aarrrrrrgh!
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:05, 4 replies)

Guess who the favourite is?
My girfriend's mum called the other day to say she coudln't afford to buy her a present this year for xmas. This was followed the next day by a phone call from her to let her know that she was going to come visit us at our flat but she was weighed down by her brother's Xbox360.

Some background info on my girlfriends little brother who we will name "Fishy" (his chav title, so earned because he used to pee himself in class and would therefore smell a bit fishy):

Regularly assaults his teachers, the most recent invovling throwing a math book at a 45 year old womans face and spiting on her when she fell down.

When he tried to punch my girlfriend in the face i stepped in only just managing to hold my temper, this results in regular threats of stabbings from him and his "gang"

Along with his friend dragging a 9 year old deaf boy out of his front garden with promises to set him on fire "for being deaf!"

Breaking into a special needs school and stealing a laptop.

Beating up his mother in a train station for her refusing to give him money.

Brought home by the police 9 times in the past year for drinking, assault and drug taking/selling.

Stealing over £100 from his lung cancer ridden gran and screaming in her face when confronted resuling in her having a panic attack.

Shrugging his way through his grans funeral and repeatedly asking if he could leave.

Can manipulate social workers like a a fat kid controls biscuits and has been given 3 "Absolute last chances to behave before he gets taken away!" in the past six months.


Now for some background info on my girlfriend:

When finding out her Gran was unwell she moved in with her and essentially became her main carer (her Aunts helped out when they could) as well as holding down a part time job and a uni course (both of which she had to give up eventaully)

Her mother forced her dad to move back to america (despite him being a really awseome bloke who is buying me nunchuks for xmas!) and regularly told her it was because she was a bad daughter and it was her fault, this went on for almost a decade until she finally got up the courage to ask him about it outright and he cried to her down the phone upset that this was what she believed, for a man who spent 15 years in the navy and fought in the Gulf this was quite bizarre to hear.

Had her mail stolen and bank details taken by her mother resulting in over £350 "going missing"


So any ideas who deserves a xmas present from their mother this year?


I should point out that I'm trying to make this xmas extra special for her, its her first one without her gran as well as being the first in our flat but bar the whole decorations and having some friends and family down (NOT her mother and "Fishy" though, we don't want him knowing where we live) i'm getting a bit stumped, any ideas?
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:19, 21 replies)

M'lady has a birthday around now.
December 10th, so fairly close to xmas.

Now, we're coming into summer over here in NZ, so I figured out her birthday with the season in mind...

I've saved a marmalade jar (looks pretty nice, patterned glass and almost spherical shape), and filled it with icecream I made (vanilla bean stuff) then made a little heart on top of that with raspberry syrup.

That'll be pulled out of the chiller at the mini-picnic I've sorted out, which'll be a decent, yet cheap bottle of champers, then the icecream, in a park on a sunny day where we can fly the kite I bought for her (she mentioned that she loves kites a month or so ago and was feeling nostaligic for when she used to have one).

Should be a right nice occasion.
(Scritty Bakerman., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 19:54, 1 reply)

This Christmas.
I have unfortunatley been unemployed since leaving Uni and despite saving what I could of the money the Government so generously gave me, this Christmas was going to be a write off. I have a large, close family and each year have at least 11 people to buy stuff for. I know that they wouldn't mind if I couldn't afford good presents but I felt really bad.

Until today, when I started my new job, working with one of my best friends who has decided to pay me weekly until Christmas which will let me buy the shit that I really want to get for people and in his words "won't have to sit at home skint while everyone else is getting drunk"

My list so far: Best of Fleetwood Mac for Mum, A pint mug for my brother (he collects them), a build your own Millenium Falcon for my other brother (he's 10 and fanatical) and a set of arcrylic paints for my sister who's decided to get all arty.

This year is gonna rock, pure and simple!
(Freak on a Leash is jerking off to centre himself on, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 19:51, 3 replies)

i think i've done pretty well..
Best mate 1: muffin and cookie cookbook and a rude origami kit
Best mate 2: grow your own venus fly trap and some finger bongos
Boyfriend: equalizer t-shirt that lights up with music, some pants that say 'save water,shower together' as both our parents find our doing so strange ,an underwater light show for your bath and some massage oil.
Mum: champagne truffles, some luxury shower gel made with seeds of some sort and Russel Brand's Booky Wook.
Boyfriends parents: like cooking so went to local Indian store and got them some authentic spices. And a bottle of whisky to smooth things along..

For myself, I got Bill Hick's book 'Love All The People' who I have fallen in love with and will hopefully continue to inspire me to have a good one this Xmas.I'm hoping to get the David Attenborough series off Amazon but you just never know do you?
(jinguana, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 18:28, Reply)

My two young cousins
will be getting a black Wii. I will need to buy earplugs because they will end up screaming and shouting when they open it.

I'd like a new phone or the new Sims expansion pack.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 18:01, Reply)