Pretentious bollocksPossibly the worst event I ever went to was an evening of turntablists in London. The lights went down, the first guy put a cymbal onto a turntable, dropped the needle on it and left it making screeching noises for ten minutes.
When the lights came up, half the audience had snuck out.
What's the most pretentious rubbish you've ever been to see in the name of art?
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chthonic, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 14:19)
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Any film by the late Rainer Fassbinderparticularly Despair, which is the most aptly-named film ever made - it felt about 19 hours long but couldn't have been more than about five. Eric Rohmer is a wanker too, if his films are anything to go by. (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg? Fuck off!)
Also, most of the exhibitions etc. raved about by the Guardian sound very much like pretentious bollocks - they are obviously meant solely for arts graduates and London media types, not for scruffy unenlightened proles like you or I. Philistine conspiracy-theorists like me believe the decline of this country's stature, economy etc. since the 1950s is at least partly due to the rise and rise of needless Arts Council grants to self-indulgent "artistic" wankers during the same time.
There's not much pretentious artistry here in West Yorkshire (apart from the odd electroclash band with £150 designer mullets[*] going on about starting revolutions or some other shit) - people trying that sort of thing in public tend to get bottled by the local scallies, particularly in Wakefield. If only the rest of the country were so vociferous....
[*] Why? why?? WHY????? FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S A FUCKING HAIRCUT! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SPENDING £150 JUST TO GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TWAT?! IF YOU CAN'T SPEND YOUR FUCKING MONEY ANY BETTER WAY JUST GO BACK TO FUCKING LONDON FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!! Sorry about that outburst, I'm going for a lie-down now.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 17:05,
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