Ethelred's inspired me to re-post this - I'd never considered it a protest
Nekkid Woman:

My ex-stepmother is far too worthy, self-righteous and power-happy to do anything other than make an utter fool of herself in absolutely everything she does. She is also so egotistical she is prone to create rather disturbing, bordering on the abusive, but ultimately in hindsight terrifically funny scenes like that detailed below, as a result:

When I was about 14, I'd got to the stage that I was decorating my room and generally turning into a bit of a punk/goth, so there were a lot of drapes and "arty" pictures in my room.

My wardrobe door was a bit tatty, so one day when I passed a shop selling long, thin posters, I decided to get one to cover it.

The one I chose was of a topless woman standing by a deep red velvet curtain, holding a black rose, by a white marble plinth thing (I make no apology - I was 14 - full of poetry and wobbly-voiced sincerity).

I put it up and that was that.

That evening my stepmother knocked on my door, opened it a crack, and told me "Vagabond - I don't like your poster. It's demeaning to women so I want you to take it down and throw it away."

She'd obviously planned this, as I played straight into her hands.

"It's only a naked woman - it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Oh YEAH?!" she replied "Well if you want to see what a naked woman looks like, HERE IT IS!" and she burst in, in her birthday suit.

She danced around the room several times, tore down my poster, tore it into little pieces, threw the little pieces all over the room, and ran out.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 11:29, 7 replies)

^ That's just not right.

( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 11:34, closed)

Well...
was she hot?
(viciousal, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 11:46, closed)

...and then you had a wank?

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 11:50, closed)

yes, the fwapping part was left out of this

( zulu eh?, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 11:52, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post436029
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 12:04, closed)

Evilscary and I think alike, obviously
Good work fella
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 12:11, closed)

From Vagabonds
previous stepmother content, she was quite good looking apparently but an utter, utter loon. Is it wrong to bang one out over your stepmum??
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 12:01, closed)

Trust me
If you saw my 'stepmum', you'd be wishing you hadn't. Not that you could miss her.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 12:10, closed)

Yo step-mama so fat
You have to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side. ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 13:52, closed)

Ewwwwww.
And: *click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 12:07, closed)

We've all "seen" her as well.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 17 Nov 2010, 17:55, closed)