An old workmate back when I was roofing.
I worked with a bloke from Australia - oddly everyone called him Oz. Anyhow he was a complete and utter cock. Told the shittiest little jokes all the time and always changed the words to songs on the radio to something loosely related to drugs. I always fantasized about beating him up in front of his kids for some reason.

He ended up getting the sack because he would always try to use three or four pieces of scrap joined together to cover something and show how clever he is instead of using a perfectly good piece of material that had been ordered for the job and was sitting right fucking there.

One day i was replacing one of these aforementioned atrocities and he was waffling on about some shit -
Me; "I've got to hand it to you Oz"
He looked up with that little smile on his face, anticipating a compliment.
Him; "yes?"
Me; "you're a fucking dick"

The boss nearly fell off the roof, never seen him laugh so hard.
(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 22:20, 1 reply)

"I always fantasized about beating him up in front of his kids for some reason."
That quote alone warrants a click.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 0:07, closed)