I create my own lube.
I was using my penis in a manner best described as ‘shafting’ a young female acquaintance of mine. She had recently got a clitoral ring and certainly seemed to be enjoying things and life in general. Indeed she claimed to enjoy ‘walking’ as well which is why she stopped taking the bus.

Anyway.

The deed was tracking to a tumultuous conclusion when I had a mis-stroke due to my lady friend’s abject enthusiasm. Unfortunately my mis-stroke (which occurred at hammer velocity) managed to catch the very tip of my urethra on a tiny snag in the ring, thus tearing my penis into two from the tip to about 2 centimetres down the shaft. The girlfriend was alright because she had sort of pushed it towards me.

This hurt slightly and I sort of pansied out and fainted. Hospital. Flashing lights. Blood. Watching my girlfriend endlessly walking up and down the corridor. The works.

No shame yet though right? Well, I was coming to that.

So about a month later, the girlfriends just come home to the flat having walked the 7 miles home again from work. She is in a state of agitation and delicately asks to be ‘seen to’ if my python can stand it. It feels ok and doesn’t hurt so we start to go for it, slowly at first then hammer and tongs.

Then she gets angry. “Why the fuck have you come so quickly?” She narked.

“Eh? I haven’t.” I replied.

We look down and see a creamy green discharge. The buttery pus from my tortured bellend oozed from our union.

“Well keep going then”.

So I did.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:04, 7 replies)

There needs to be a "this story holds some merit in matters pertaining to the current question" button
It just doesn't feel right clicking "I like this" to a tale of a pus spewing todger.
( Mr.Ons knows you can hear him, Earthmen., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:10, closed)

I think that
is probably one of the most disgusting things I have ever read.
Well done!
(onefishtwofish Redfishbluefish, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 19:53, closed)

What they said.
Especially Mr Ons.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 23:48, closed)

boke
BOKE BOKE BOKE BOKE

*click*

boke
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:34, closed)

Thank you for helping me with my diet
Every time I want to eat, I'll just think of that.

retches
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 17:19, closed)

I nearly fainted at the desk
such a grim story...have a click!
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 10:55, closed)