Things you can't do despite being a grownup
Basically, stealing the idea from this thread on reddit.

So, b3tans, what can't you do despite the fact you're a fully grown and responsible adult?

I can't work out which way is east and which way is west, most often when working out which platform I need on the London underground, without muttering "never eat shredded wheat" under my breath. Also I never learned to do a signature, I just write my name in my normal handwriting.
(An Inflatable Bearded Whumpus, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 12:11, Reply)

Needy Co-Workers
My other half constantly bitches at me about a co-worker of hers who constantly bitches at her about everyone else at her workplace.
Have you any experience of this? And how, if you have, did you deal with it / them?
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Tue 6 Jan 2015, 14:26, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Moving house
is supposed to be one of the more stressful moments in life. What disasters have you encountered moving from one hovel to the next?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 2 Jan 2015, 14:58, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

IT'S CHRISTMAS YOU FLAPSPLATTERING MINGEHONKERS
So gives us a question related to the season!

My fox, she ache!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

SeeeweeetiesZ!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 22:05, 3 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Why isn't Yewtree looking at Russell Brand yet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 16 Dec 2014, 20:21, 5 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Snoring cunts.
Who's the loudest-snoring cunt you know? I think it's the guy in the room above.
Alt: ever woken yourself up snoring or farting? I nearly did after falling asleep waiting for the question to change on here.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 15 Dec 2014, 1:04, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Best Christmas Parties vs Worst Christmas Parties
A chance for a bit of a broiled legume.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 15:02, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Best mates.
Tell us about your best mate.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Dec 2014, 12:23, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

racist grandchildren

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 23:20, Reply)

tell us about your weird sexual fetishes
you sick fucking freaks
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 10:55, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Who wants a pony corpse?
I used to have a pony, but it is dead. Does anyone from here want to beat its festering flesh?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 21 Nov 2014, 12:29, Reply)

Greatest acts of trolling
it may as well go out with a bang

And lawsuits
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 20 Nov 2014, 20:29, Reply)

inspirational quotes on a photo of some ducklings

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 19 Nov 2014, 19:45, 4 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

fuck this for a game of soldiers v never give up never give in

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 18 Nov 2014, 20:56, Reply)

pirates vs mictoboy

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Nov 2014, 20:43, Reply)

How long should a week be?
I suggest we redefine it as 15 days.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 10:36, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Homemade alcohol
I have a 'make your own absinthe' kit here, fucking terrified of making it

imgur.com/O5bW9IZ

Tell us your stories of when you got so drunk on homemade mead you pissed in the cupboard. Or tell us about the time you tried to buy wine stabiliser but got chased out of the friendly merchants shop because that compound is used to bash cocaine. Tell us about the trials and tribulations of not being able to afford 4 cans of strongbow and couldn't brew your own poison so you got pissed on antifreeze and the next day pissed in your own mouth.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 16 Nov 2014, 2:19, 3 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Why does your love hurt so much?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 15 Nov 2014, 14:28, Reply)

how deep is your love?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 11:53, 2 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Have you thought about changing the question?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 14 Nov 2014, 9:57, Reply)

what's your favourite block of text copied and pasted from wikipedia?

( Zuowan, Thu 13 Nov 2014, 6:11, Reply)

Annoying words and phrases.
"Limited edition" really annoys me, in it's overuse in erroneous situations; it only make sense for things such as published media. Can chocolate bars be limited edition? No... that should be "different recipe".

What words and phrases annoy the fuck out of you?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 14:45, 9 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Saying things out loud
My wife makes a lot of things with a kind of wheat called spelt. She often says, "I've made a spelt loaf today" and before she can finish her sentence I have to say, "L-O-A-F, loaf". Same with spelt pasta, "P-A-S-T-A, pasta". Oh the hilarity never ends (neither has the marriage so far). But I can't stop myself.

Post your stories of things that you say out loud because your can't help yourself.
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 13:19, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

Overplanning
Before even so much as a day out a friend of mine would set up an Excel sheet with a to-the-minute rundown on the day having researched everything from bus routes, stop numbers and times (with backups) to places to eat near where they would be when they might be feeling hungry (with stars by the ones he had a voucher for). Do you overplan and does it ever actually go to plan?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Unwanted attention
On recent forays into the /offtopic portion of this website I have had to suffer the unwanted sexual leerings of noted sexpest and weepy sprinter "Richard Mcbeef". Have you ever had to deal with the online equivalent of a dog clamping onto your leg and rubbing up and down? How did you deal with it?
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 10 Nov 2014, 10:06, 1 reply, 9 years ago)

I recently discovered that I am magnetic
Small children just seem to be attracted to my penis. Also tablets seem to cling to my hands and I have to finger my own mouth to take them.

What is your super power that hasn't been written about by some shit comic. Perhaps you have the ability to smell the difference between chlamydia and herpes. Or you know a tv is on in the room before you enter the room (we can all do that so fuck off)
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Nov 2014, 21:07, Reply)

I serve no other purpose other than being ban hammered
Let me take control of /QOTW I promise you I will always forget to change the question every other week
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 8 Nov 2014, 17:37, Reply)

dapper laughs
ever been raped by him?
are you underage?
notify the police indirectly via the medium of this question
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 8 Nov 2014, 13:26, Reply)

Sport
Tell us your best sporting moment, from smacking a 20 yarder into the top corner to pissing on your ex. Its all sport.
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 9:19, 2 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Pikeys
Tell us about your experiences with pikeys. Are they unfairly stereotyped? Are they really as bad as everyone says? Did they steal your dog?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 10:49, 8 replies, latest was 9 years ago)