b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » World of Random » Post 1178527 | Search
This is a question World of Random

There's a pile of scrap timber, rubble and general turds in the road opposite my work with a hand-written sign reading "Free Shed". Tell us about random, completely hatstand stuff and people you've seen

Suggested by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic

(, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:38)
Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Two of my mates, Adam and Ray (names etc)
were both big enthusiasts of Acorn computers back in the 90s. Adam was rather proficient at programming it and managed to create a 'virus'. He wrote the song below, programmed his Acorn to sing it (using a speech synthesiser that makes Stephen Hawking sound like he teaches elocution) and then wrote it into a 'virus' that would copy itself in to two places on the hard-drive and into memory. If you deleted one copy, it would copy the other one to another random place, all the time making sure there was a copy in memory. Cleverly done I thought.

He then sneaked it on to Ray's Acorn so that it would wait a random interval, anywhere between 10 mins to 5 hours, before firing up and singing the song, which couldn't be halted.

To the tune of "The Ash Grove". You'll no doubt recognise the tune as soon as you hear it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay9-8POXH7w

****
If you poison my trumpet
I'll nail you to a doormat
If you insult my teabags
Then I'll sell you a gnu.

If you damage my monkey
I'll throw up on your cornflakes
And if you dress up like Demis Roussos
Then I'll come in your shoe.

If you barbecue my pterodactyl
Or you henwox an axolotl
I'll rip out your epiglotis
As food for my giraffe.

If you rupture my saucepan
I'll spit on your apple crumble
And if you sing a bar in 17/40
Then I'll switch myself off.
****

At which point it would switch off. Not go into a shutdown procedure like Windows does. Switch off, as if someone had kicked the plug out of the wall.
(, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 12:47, 2 replies)
Hahahaha!
This is true quality, and made me do an office lol.
(, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 12:51, closed)
HAHAHAHAHA
Love it :D
(, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:26, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1