The funniest and scariest moments of my life happened together...
A few weeks back it was a friend of mines birthdays and to celebrate we decided to go out around Sheffield. At the time, said friend had a severe cold that he was insisting was flu, and as a result wasn't having too much fun. Noticing this, we decided that to cheer him up we should go to a strip club, and that since it was his birthday we'd buy him a dance.

Twenty minutes later, we are all in a particularly famous strippers drinking away and having a good time. Now, at this particular club are two twins who do the exact same routine at the exact same time. Why not thinks I, and so me and birthday boy are led off by the wallet by the twins for a private dance.

Sat on my hands I gazed upon their half naked bodies gyrating in the dim light of the small room, their firm and perfect breasts pulsating as they danced and touched each other in a way that would make their mother blush. They split, they came toward us still moving identically. Then, with their shaven mimsies not a meter from our faces they stripped completely. I remember thinking "This is worth any money" before hearing a sickeningly familiar noise from the side of me. ACHOO! Followed by one of the twins jumping back in horror shouting "You dirty fucking bastard!" and running out of the room.

I turned to my mate in utter confusion to be faced with him looking at me dead pan and saying "I greenied up her bucket". This was the single funniest moment of my life, that is until three of the biggest, meanest looking bouncers I've ever seen in my life entered. These guys looked like genetic experiments gone wrong, and probably had more DNA in common with pit bulls than other humans. For some reason, they didn't seem to find it nearly as funny as I did, and my uncontrollable laughter only served to anger them more. That was scary
( Furness, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:46, Reply)