David and Goliath
Slightly off topic but involving rock, and a sock. Names changed to protect the
involved, and because I can't remember them.

Once upon a time in Nottingham Rock City there was a drunken punter named David
and a surly bouncer named Goliath. Now David must have looked at Goliath in the
wrong way or made comments about his mother or been wearing the wrong shoes or
something, because Goliath decided to knock David unconcious, totally ruining
his night.

When he recovered from his ordeal, David planned his revenge.
A week or so later Goliath was again guarding the doors to rock city, jostling
gig-goers and grabbing meaty handfulls of underage girl's girly bits. So our
hero cooly walked into the scream bar on the corner, removed a sock and filled
it with 2 pool balls then secreted the sock sling in his pocket and marched off
to confront Goliath.

"Oi Goliath! Remember me?" David demanded, jabbing the bouncer in the chest.
"Yeah. You're that little cnut I sparked out last week." came Goliath's
response.
"Yeah? Well remember this!"
Faster than greased lightning David grabbed his pool ball sock sling and swung
with all his might at the bouncer's head and...

Gently patted the giant bouncer's cheek with a wooly sock.
David had held
the wrong end of his cosh and the balls had fallen out into his pocket.

Now I'm sure most of you have experienced that moment of panic when your pupils
dilate, you exhale and inhale at the same time and you freeze just after you've
done something incredibly stupid and dangerous and your brain is frantically
trying to figure out a solution to your stupidity. Then all of a sudden there is
that moment of clarity when you calm down and realise exactly what to do, well
this was one of those moments. David knew exactly what he had to do, it was...

Hit Goliath again with the sock! Hit the giant violent bouncer again and again
with the woolen sock until he was dead.
David withdrew his sock from Goliath's growling mug and pulled his arm back for
another wallop and....

Woke up in hospital for the 2nd weekend running.
(Bellamy's Enemy, Mon 3 Jul 2006, 9:12, Reply)