Barnsley: it's like the '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s and '00s never happened
I've lived in Barnsley pretty much all my life. It's rubbish, but I love it. I say "all my life" - I spent 3 years away in York at uni getting more of a cultural education than an academic one. You see...

When I'd come home from uni after experiencing life in a different part of Yorkshire (why would I want to go anywhere else?), it struck me why I like it. It's like going back in time...

I took a local girl out on a date earlier this year. I say "girl," she was 26. We'd have a fab night on the tarn and we were ready to come home. Walked out of the pub (we don't really do bars or clubs) and flagged down a taxi. She turned to me and said "You've just stopped that taxi for us?" sounding all surprised. Yes: turns out she'd never seen somebody flag down a taxi, having lived in Barnsley for 26 years, where everybody, sort of, stands in queues waiting for them.

And then my mates dragged me along to a gay night in a pub one night. We don't have gay clubs: not enough gays. Anyways, got there; standing outside having a fag. Bloke comes up and starts talking to me about how he'd not seen me before. Hmm... Carries on; "Yeah, I'm not gay. I just like coming here cos everybody's so friendly. Yeah, I've got a girlfriend..." And then the same happened again. And again. Barnsley: it's still not cool to openly admit that you're gay here. Or be black. Or Asian... Unless you work in an Indian/Chinese takeaway. Odd but true. Even shop-keeping, taxi driving - the racially-stereotypical jobs - are done by middle aged white men.

And then alcohol... Alcohol. People drink alcohol constantly. Soft drinks are for women and children. There was a bit in the news recently about how the teachers at a school in tarn had been concerned that parents had cans of beer in hand as they dropped their kids off at school... And then when they picked them up again. Nobody but the teachers thought anything about it. When Georgi Hristov joined Barnsley, he said "Our women are much prettier. Besides, they don't drink as much beer as the Barnsley girls which is something I don't like at all." I think the thing to add to this is that Barnsley women have a generic orange glow. I kinda like it. I digress. Everybody here's a marginal alcoholic and most people are smokers, but nobody uses drugs. Oh no. They haven't been invented here yet.

And you hear the most amazing conversations when sitting in the pub. Nowhere else have I heard things like this (where everybody else could hear and nobody batted an eyelid):
"Kelly, sleep with us?"
"No, I can't. I'm seeing somebody."
"Ah go on. We never did it when we were together."
"I've told you. I can't."
"Please."
"Fine. Well I'll give you my number. Text me later."

But, best of all, people talk to people. If you're standing at a bus stop or waiting for a train, you always end up talking to somebody. You can go to the pub on your own and, even if you know nobody, you'll never drink alone. And you can smile at people as you pass them in the street without worrying about being stabbed or mugged. It's nice.

So Barnsley... It's like going back in time; it really is rubbish. But I fucking love it and I think everybody should spend a week here at least once in their lives.
(mr major no thanks, I don't use the horse, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 0:13, 6 replies)

In my experience, folk in the tarn don't give two shits about what religion or colour you are;
if you act in a civil, polite fashion you'll get the same in return, and if you act like a twat you'll get treated like one. That I think is one its better qualities. As for non-traditional sexual orientations, most people would find it odd at first, but shrug their shoulders and accept it once they'd got their head round the idea.

Put it this way, you're far more likely to get attacked and killed for your differences in a big city than you are in Barnsley.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 1:07, closed)

Very true
Totally agree with you there, actually. Still, having stayed in every corner of the country with work, there's nowhere quite so white and old fashioned, culture-wise.
(mr major no thanks, I don't use the horse, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 1:56, closed)

I worked there for a while.
And am still impressed by lads in their early 20s calling 50p 'ten bob'.
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 9:57, closed)

I used to live there... and it was quite nice- in bits.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 1 Nov 2009, 11:37, closed)

I kind of want to go to Barnsley now...
You bastard!
( rjmrjm, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 16:06, closed)

Barnsley born and proud!

( Schweaty Minge I spunked in your tea! Taste it and see! D:, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 12:00, closed)